


it's all in the planning

by terribledorkness



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-04
Updated: 2017-06-22
Packaged: 2018-11-08 13:43:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 41,326
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11082771
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/terribledorkness/pseuds/terribledorkness
Summary: Zelena and Henry team up for a little matchmaking after wish-verse Robin leaves with the Evil Queen, and Emma gets engaged to Hook. The results, are of course, wonderfully disastrous. SWANQUEENIncludes some idiots in love with denial problems, and tropes everywhere.In which: Zelena wasn’t around for Emma’s announcement about getting engaged to Hook. Hook never leaves on the Nautilus, and Gideon and the Black Fairy are concocting evil plans quietly for the time being. AU from Page 23





	1. In which Zelena and Henry team up to make a change....

It’s a quiet night for the formerly green-skinned witch, a pleasant one, in fact. Pseudo-Robin is out of her life, for good, and baby Robyn is sleeping soundly. So, Zelena decides to treat herself with a glass of whisky, and that’s probably the moment things begin to go to shit. 

A knock on her door startles her out of her alcohol induced reverie, and slamming her glass down on the table, Zelena summons a fireball in her hand-

(a neat trick for warding off unwanted visitors, exhibit A, a curious pseudo-Robin wanting to see his pseudo- biological child.) 

-and growling, she opens the door, snarl ready on her face, only to be greeted by a very unbothered Henry. 

“Oh. Henry.” She immediately snaps her hand closed, noting the lack of surprise on Henry’s face. “Sorry for the fireball.” 

Henry waves a hand. “Mom does it all the time when I come round later at night. I’m used to it.” 

Hmm. Sister like sister, Zelena muses. She opens the door slightly, and Henry slips inside, shedding his jacket and shoes on the floor. Zelena sighs, but follows Henry into the kitchen, where he’s already sitting down at the table, grabbing a pencil and paper out of his bag. 

“Alright- not that I’d usually complain for having my favorite nephew over but-” 

“Your only nephew,” Henry rolls his eyes. “And I know it’s late, but I had to escape it all.” He shudders. “All the smiles, and hugging and congratulations-” 

Zelena gives him a knowing look. “Snow and Charming at it again?” 

Henry looks at her for a split second. “What?” Then he shakes his head. “No- God- no oh why would you say that-” He grimaces. “No not that. My mom and Emma.” 

It’s Zelena’s turn to look startled. “What’s this about hugging?” She sits in the chair opposite Henry, and watches as his face takes on a far off look. 

“Emma got engaged.” 

Zelena’s face is carefully blank. “To….?” 

Henry rolls his eyes. “Wow you haven’t been out much have you?” 

Zelena tosses him a dirty look. “When you have the threat of a pseudo-father walking around town, judge me then.” She sniffs haughtily. 

Henry squints. “Didn’t you scare Robin off with a fireball as well?” Zelena smirks, and Henry decides not to enquire further. “This isn’t my point. My point is, my Ma- Emma - got engaged to Hook.” 

Zelena’s blank expression slides away, to reveal a slack-jawed look of disbelief. “She what? I thought-” 

“That she and Mom were all-” 

“Lovey-dovey and marching around foreign realms together-” 

“Sneaking around saving each other-”

“And secretly conducting a wildly passionate love affair behind our backs?” Zelena finishes, and Henry nods slowly. 

“Yeah. That.” He wrinkles his nose in distaste. “But those are my Moms so I don’t really say that kind of stuff.” He then gets out his pencil. “But Hook?” Tapping his fingers agitatedly on the wooden table, he shakes his head. “He smells like rum half the time, which I know my Ma doesn’t like- but he never changes. And-” He pauses. “Well, he scares me a little.” 

Zelena gets up from the table, and puts the kettle on, sensing Henry’s discomfort. “And why’s that?” 

“Because….” Henry’s face darkens. “I mean, he tried to kill us all. Even me. And my mom still….” Another silence. 

Zelena grabs the kettle, and pours two cups of tea. “Earl Grey?” Henry nods, and she smiles approvingly. Pouring a healthy amount of milk in his tea, she gives him the cup, which he clutches. “I tried to kill you as well, Henry.” Zelena says, with the slightest touch of remorse in her voice. 

Henry sips his tea, thoughtfully. “Yeah, but now you’d never do that again. You’ve changed.” His voice is full of conviction. “But Hook- he was on our side until the moment he found out he had magic or something. And then suddenly, he changed, with no warning at all. It wasn’t like some kind of curse, because he didn’t want to kill us before hand.” 

Zelena takes a sip of her own tea, and smiles at her nephew. “Well I’m glad you think I’ve changed. But- why did you come to me?” 

Henry shifts in his chair. “Well, you might have changed, but you’re the only one who can help me with this- problem.” 

Zelena nods her head with a thoughtful look on her face. “You came to me for a reason, young nephew of mine.” More thoughtful nodding. “I sense that this calls for some wicked planning.” She flashes a grin, and Henry groans. The heavy atmosphere disappears in a flash, and Zelena mentally congratulates on the effect her puns always seem to have. 

“No. That’s just- no.” 

“You’re just green with envy that you aren’t as punny as I am.” 

“Stop.” 

“Never. You’d have to go back in time to quiet me.” 

“That was too far.” 

Zelena chews her lip. “Yeah you’re right I’ll have to revisit that one- in the future.” She smirks. “Anyway, Henry, I’m assuming you want my help to concoct some mischievous and dangerous plan to get your mothers together?” 

Henry nods, and holds out a second pencil. 

“It’s green!” 

“I’m a thoughtful nephew. So you’ll help?” 

Zelena taps the green pencil against her chin, a fake facade of thought displayed across her face. “Of course. I’m always up for causing some mayhem in this boring little town. 

"So- I suppose we first tackle Hook?” Henry says, slowly beginning to light up with the prospect of causing mischief. 

A devious smirk inches it's way across Zelena's face. "Oooo- can I tackle Hook?” She raises an eyebrow suggestively, and Henry looks confused for a millisecond before hiding his head in his hands. 

“Oh God Auntie Zelena! Ew!” 

Zelena shrugs. “What? Emma’s engaged to him for a reason, and it isn’t all that leather I can assure you. So- like I said, Hook?” Henry shudders, and then shakes his head vehemently. 

“Okay, now I've changed my mind. I do not ever want to see you tackle Hook. First we tackle that awkward hug they both gave each other in the kitchen. I’ve seen them save realms together, fight evil on a daily basis, but never have I seen them hug. And this hug- Rumplestiltskin could hug Hook better than that, let me tell you.” 

Zelena smiles, a slow horrible grin that shows all of her teeth. “I’ve got a perfect idea.”


	2. In which Emma has a case of mistaken identity

Thunder rumbles, and lightning flashes. Inside a farmhouse, two figures sit hunched over a piece of paper, wax dripping onto it, as the light from the three candles illuminating the room flicker. 

 

The first figure straightens up. “I think we’ve got it.” She says, and her tone is hushed, reverent almost. “I can’t believe we finally managed to do it, Henry.” The other figure doesn’t move, but merely continues to stare at the page. 

  
“Auntie Zelena, the wax from your stupid candles just dripped all over our plan.” 

 

“What?” The red haired witch gasps. “My planning!” The wail echoes throughout the house, a forlorn cry of loss. 

 

Henry rolls his eyes. “Stop being so melodramatic.I still don’t get why we had to use candles anyway. The power still works.” 

  
Zelena glares at her nephew. “When you are plotting, you use candles.” Henry opens his mouth to protest, but she cuts him off. “Don’t try to argue with me! You said you wanted my help- so we do things my way.” 

 

Henry scratches the now hardening wax of the paper with a sigh. “Fine. So, let’s go over the plan again?” 

 

“Yes.” Zelena hisses, her eyes alight. “My dear boy, I think we found it! The solution to all of our problems, the key to our family’s happiness!” 

 

“I don’t think my moms getting together with bring much happiness to my grandparents.” Henry points out with a frown. 

 

“Oh shush. I think those two finally stopping all those arguments that run on unresolved sexual tension by  _ finally  _ shagging will be a relief for everyone.” 

  
Henry claps his hands over his ears. “Lalalalala! I can’t heeeaaar you!” 

 

Zelena grabs a pen and scratches something down on the paper. “Okay, there we go. It’s simple enough, really. The annual winter Fair has come at perfect timing, actually, so this will be easy.” 

 

In a gesture that looks eerily like his dark haired mother, Henry lifts an eyebrow and grins, in a sinister manner. “Now all we have to do, is set the bait.” 

 

Zelena smirks. “And the bait will be most willing, I can assure you.” 

  
Outside, thunder crackles, and with it, the mixture of a wicked laugh echoes through the fields. Then- 

 

“Auntie Zelena that was just a weird and unnecessary laugh.”

 

***********

 

Emma’s having her lunch at Granny’s, with Snow, when she gets handed the flyer. It’s a welcome distraction from Snow’s happy wedding planning- they’d just begun on what color should be the underlying theme and Emma was about to die. 

 

Ruby saunters up to their table, putting their food down first, and then smacking down a colourful red flyer down in the middle of Snow’s binder that she’d compiled.

 

(It’d been only four days since she and Killian had gotten engaged, and her mother had a whole freakin’ binder on weddings, letters A to K. Emma didn’t want to think about the rest of the alphabet -  and what Snow had in store for that.) 

 

“Ruby!” Snow jumps. “Ruby?” She asks again, and Ruby redirects her gaze at Emma, waggling her eyebrows. 

 

“I thought Emma might be interested in this.” She says, and Emma picks the flyer up, glancing at the suspicious looking wolfy grin Ruby has slowly inching up her face. 

 

“The town fair.” Emma frowns. “So? There’s one every year. Why would I be more interested than last year?” 

 

Ruby sighs dramatically, and pulling up an extra chair from a nearby table, she plonks down. 

 

“Red, we’re a little bit busy right now.” Snow grumbles. “Wedding planning?” 

 

Ruby shushes her best friend, with a frantic hand motion that has Snow shut right up. She continues to stare at Emma, who is getting increasingly more nervous. Then Ruby begins to chuckle, and Emma feels the tips of her ears beginning to go red. 

 

“Okay Ruby, dramatic tension has been achieved. Now what is it?” 

 

Ruby continues to giggle, before choking out some words. “Sorry Ems. It’s just that I won the prize- telling you your job at the fair.” 

 

Emma scrunches her nose up. “Job? But- I didn’t volunteer!” 

  
Ruby wags her finger. “Nah ah ah!” She sings in a mocking tone. “Since you work for Storybrooke, and are the Sheriff, we, the Fair council, have decided that all city-paid members have to participate. That means you, the teachers at the school-” Here she gives a pointed look at Snow. “Your turn will come soon. Anyway, you get the point. Your job is-” She pauses again, and Emma takes the momentary lapse in conversation to throw a fry at Ruby. 

 

“Hey!” Ruby says without any venom. “I don’t appreciate that! And for that I will relish this even more. Emma, you are in charge of the kissing booth. As in, you- kiss- booth. Kiss booth. You kiss people. In a booth.” She giggles again, and Snow goes pale. 

 

“I- what? But- I’m..I’m engaged!” Emma splutters, slowly turning red. “I don’t wanna kiss random people!” 

 

Ruby smirks. “It’s either you or Snow.” 

 

Snow, who had been opening her mouth to protest her daughter’s fate, quickly snaps it closed again, and turns to her daughter, a beaming smile on her face. “Yes, Emma, Ruby has given me the most wonderful idea! Think of it as your bachelorette party! Be good to get our minds off this whole- well Black Fairy and Gideon thing. This fair will be a great way for you to relax!” Snow’s left eye twitches slightly, signalling her obvious desperation.  

  
Emma looks at her strangely. “I’ll say no, you’ll say no- what’s the big deal?” 

 

Snow goes quiet, and Ruby smiles again, baring her teeth like the wolf that comes out every month. “Because your mother dearest owes me a favour for something I will never tell you about, involving her, your father Charming and unfortunate timing- and placement - of a sword-” Ruby winks and makes a shoving motion with her hands, “during a fairytale coronation way back in the good ol’ Enchanted Forest.” She says, and Emma shudders. 

 

“So, if you say no, Snow White, the fairest in all the realm, will be kissed, one by one, by raunchy old men, horny young women-” Ruby stops and ponders for a moment before continuing with a dirty leer, “Myself included.” 

 

Snow gulps and looks anywhere but Emma, slowly turning red. Ruby, sensing Emma’s increasing discomfort, rubs the salt further in the slowly growing wound. “Dorothy doesn’t mind. Come to think of it, she’s also had the hots for our pure princess right over here. So she’ll be in line. Oh god, and we can’t count out Zelena- she’s always up for a little kiss and tell- I mean Robin am I right?” Emma begins to turn an interesting shade of green. Snow triest to get out of the booth, but Ruby slides in next to her, trapping her with a sly grin. 

 

“And Whale’s sure to be back for another sample of Mary Margaret at her true potential- ”

 

“ALRIGHT!” Emma yells, and the same time Snow begins to gag. “I GET IT PLEASE STOP RUBES OTHERWISE I WILL STUFF THESE FRIES UP YOUR ASS.” Ruby tosses her hair, and gives Emma a triumphant baring of teeth. 

 

“I’m not done. I did have a whole list of people who want to kiss your mother, but I will spare your poor little ears, as well as Snow’s sanity because she looks like she’s about to pass out.” 

 

It’s true. Snow is breathing heavily, hand on her stomach as her face slowly purples. Emma grabs her mother's hand but then recalls Ruby’s story and quickly withdraws it. “Just out with it already. I’m still not convinced to be honest,” but then she shoots her near catatonic mother a glance and finds her resolve weakened. 

 

“Ems, this is frickin Snow we’re talking about. Back in the day, she might have been some bad ass bandit- but now she’s a twoo-love advocate and a motherly Queen. Nobody is scared of her, like they are of you, Emma.” Ruby finishes, slightly out of breath. Snow nods vigorously in agreement. 

  
Emma thinks about it. Not for very long. “No!” She says again, indignation in her voice. “I have a fiancee!” 

 

Ruby waves her hand. “Leave the pirate to me. But, by hook or by crook-” She pauses, leaving the pun to sink in, eliciting two matching groans from mother and daughter. “You’ll be doing this kissing booth.” 

 

Snow looks at Emma with large puppy eyes. “Please Emma.” She whimpers. “I know that Leroy has always had a bit of a crush on me, and I just don’t-” She turns an odd colour. “Oh god… Whale….” 

 

There’s a pause, and Emma thinks about her poor innocent mother, puckering up for a slobbering Leroy, or heaven forbid  _ Whale _ or the other single old men in the town. Emma’s the town sheriff, so she doubts that anyone will try anything else. Looks like she has no other choice.

 

Emma grumbles. “For the sake of my mother, I will sacrifice my pride. But only a peck on the lips. That is all that is allowed. And they can’t be drunk. Or Leroy. And they’ve got to be STD free. No herpes for me please. ” She eyes her mother. “Oh and Mom? You owe me- big time.” Snow gulps and nods. 

 

“Done!” Ruby says happily, holding out the flyer again. “You’ll be manning the Kissing booth from 3 till 6, this Saturday. Don’t be late!” 

 

Emma sighs, and glares at her mother, who guiltily picks at her french fries. At least this will get her out of the cake tasting her mother booked for her. 

 

*********

 

It’s the day of the fair, and all Regina has planned is to send Henry off with a few friends, sit back, and enjoy a nice glass of apple cider. Cliche, she knows, but ever since her evil half (or not so evil half) had finally left, Regina has been waiting for a moment alone. 

 

Unfortunately, due to the constant wedding planning that Snow had been shoving in her face because of Regina’s newly appointed role of maid of honor, Regina had barely been able to do so. Being part of the wedding had been a favour she’d gladly offered to Emma, but it didn’t stop the horrible tight feeling in her chest every time she thought of watching Emma get married to the pirate. So, a glass of apple cider was just what she needed, and a movie marathon of Star Wars, a guilty pleasure she’d enjoyed ever since Henry had become obsessed at the age of eight.  

 

The doorbell rings just as Henry is putting on his shoes. “I’ll get it Mom!” He calls, and opens the door. 

 

“Mom!” Regina sighs as Henry’s voice echoes through the hall. 

 

“Yes Henry you can go you don’t have to say goodbye!” She says, her hand inching towards the glass she’d just poured. She’s about to bring it to her lips, when a swirl of green magic encases it- and poof! It’s gone. Regina looks up with a growl, to find her smirking sister in front of her. 

 

“No no no!” Zelena sings. “You are coming to the fair with me! Sister sister bonding! We can talk about our terrible mother, talk about our terrible love lives, talk about our terrible pasts, the usual you know?” 

 

Regina can’t help a pout from forming on her face. “I want- my...apple cider.” She whispers, and Zelena waves her hand, green magic swirling. Two flasks appear. A hungry look forming on her face, Regina takes one, and sniffs it. 

 

“Ugh rum?” 

 

Zelena shrugs. “My magic’s been a bit wonky ever since having Robyn- for some reason the only liquor I’ve been able to conjure is that effective yet rather disgusting substance. Take it or leave it, sister sweetest. Either way, you are coming to this fair.” 

 

Regina thinks for a moment, before raising the flask to her lips. Behind her, Henry does a fist pump, and Zelena grins slyly. Regina sighs and takes another sip, and can’t help but let a delighted sound escaped her lips when she realises that the flask is self-refilling. “Hmmm. It’ll do.” Regina then glances at Henry who is studiously ignoring his mother’s constant sips from the flask. 

 

“And you will forget that your mother is drinking rum.” Henry grins, and zips his lips. “Not what I meant, but it’ll do. Snow hears one whisper I’m drinking any kind of alcohol, and she’ll want to join me.” Regina grumbles. “I swear she does not get out enough.”    

 

Henry coughs. “I didn’t want to hear that about Grams, but I promise I won’t tell her. I’ll walk with you guys to the fair, but then I’m meeting up with Violet, Ava and Nicholas okay?” He wrinkles his nose. “No way I want to be around you two at the moment.” 

 

Regina screws the bottle of the flask shut, before eyeing her son.“Yes that’s fine Henry.  But I’m not doing anything like- that pie throwing contest I see Blue forced into doing each year, or go on the Ferris Wheel. I will buy myself a nice chocolate apple on a stick, sit and drink this rum. Nothing more exciting, okay?” She warns Zelena.

 

Zelena smiles sweetly, something that should have raised Regina’s suspicions, but the rum is already doing it’s magic. “Of course, Regina. Why would I ever make you do anything vaguely adventurous or wild?” 

 

Regina is out of the door first, so she doesn’t notice Zelena and Henry do a silent high five. 

 

***********

 

“Love, I’m not comfortable with every man in Storybrooke kissing you.” Killian grumbles, as they walk towards the fair. Emma snorts. Killian had reluctantly agreed to Emma’s assignment- whatever Ruby had threatened him with had cowed him into enough submission to only make mild complaints as the fair grew nearer. 

 

“Do you think I am? But I have no choice. Either me or my mom, and for the sake of her and my dad, I’m giving up these very kissable lips for three hours.” She says, a look of disgust on her face. “I’m pretty sure my Dad will be outside the booth though, intimidating people. Hopefully that’ll scare off the nastier ones.” She grins at Killian. “I suppose you’ll join him?” 

 

Killian sighs, and then his lips quirk upwards. “You bet I will.” He grabs her by the waist, and swings her towards him. “And I’ll be buying tons of tickets as well.” Emma laughs as he kisses her, before moving away, and back down the path. 

 

“Hey! I wasn’t done yet!” Killian hollers as Emma jogs down the path, her red leather jacket flailing behind her. 

 

“Yeah well I have a kissing booth to get to, and unless you want me to be responsible for the scarring of my mother and the possible murder of Leroy, then you’ll let me go!” Emma yells as she continues towards the fair. 

 

“Murder of Leroy?” Killian mutters, but shakes his head, and follows Emma. 

 

Soon they both arrive at the fair, all flashing lights and screaming children. As they sidestep the crowds and make their way to the more adult part of the fair, Emma sighs. “Oh hell. My fate awaits me.” The saviour says dramatically, as they approach the conspicuous deep blue booth that has large red hearts painted on each side and velvety maroon curtains hanging over a single entrance. 

 

“Very chic Ruby, but not very subtle.” Emma says, eyebrows lifted. “So...how does this work?” 

 

Ruby, who sidled around the corner of the booth as both Killian and Emma arrived, bounces on the balls of her feet with rigid excitement. “Oooooo boy am I so glad you asked that.” She says, and opens the red velvet curtain. “In you go, Emma.” 

  
Emma gives Killian one last peck on the lips, before climbing the steps, and stepping into the musty interior. She rounds a sharp corner in the booth, and fumbling, finds a doorknob. She opens it, and finds herself in a small room, with a little window with a slot over it. She slides it open, and Ruby’s grinning face outside. It’s quiet inside the booth, and Emma can hear the difference from outside. “Alright, how does this work?” 

 

Ruby smirks. “Well Emma, you make sure that this slot is firmly shut. I will bang on it, depending on how many kisses the customer paid for, and when said customer enters, you will sit on that chair there. The person will make their way into the other area-” Emma glances around and sees that there is a chair located right by a square hole in the wall, leading to another room with another chair. “Then, you kiss them on the lips, and depending on how many times I banged on the slot, that is the number of times. All clear?” 

 

“Crystal.” Emma wrinkles her nose. “Do people know it’s me in here?” 

 

Ruby winks. “There’s been a rumour around town it’s either you or Snow.” She coughs. “And I might have encouraged that rumour- hey don’t look at me like that! I have a business to run here!” She whines, when Emma glares at her. 

 

“So either way, people will be kissing someone very Charming today.” An annoyed look spreads across her face as she makes a shooing motion to someone that Emma can’t see. “Yes- alright- yes I’ll tell her.” Ruby sighs. “Your Dad is willing to punch anyone who goes overboard. Killian is also lurking outside and-” She glances away again. “Right he’s bought about ten tickets already, and those things aren’t cheap.” 

 

Emma sighs. “I guess I better get these lips ready then.” She claps a hand to her mouth. “Oh god did you hear what that sounded like? Ruby! What have you done to me?” 

 

Ruby smiles. “This is going to be a fun day, Emma. A very fun day.” The slot slides shut, and Emma stumbles over to the seat, to wait. 

 

****************

 

Regina sips her flask, as she and Zelena wander around the fair. At first, the self refilling charm on the bottle had been quite useful; in hindsight however, as Regina’s heeled feet stumbled slightly on the flat ground, it might have been a good idea to have some dinner first. 

 

Zelena smirks as she notices her normally impossibly elegant sister (seriously, even when she fell it was like an artistic sort of swan dive) stumble on the ground. Regina’s good at hiding the drunkenness that’s only natural with how much she’s had of the rum (that’s been spiked with a slightly more powerful substance as well…), but when she turns to Zelena, her eyes are slightly glazed, and Zelena decides to put her plan in action. 

 

“Can we- we sit down?” Regina says, clearing her throat. “I’m feeling a bit…” She waves the flask around slightly. “I don’t think it would be prudent for the citizens of this fine kingdom to see their Evil Queen- mayor- uh person drunk.” 

 

Oh yeah. Definitely time to put the plan in action. Zelena helps her sister over to a bench, before turning away as Regina takes another sip. “Code blue.” She hisses into the miniature walkie talkie. “Queenie is drunk and ready for action. Greenie out.” She cackles slightly at the play on words. 

 

There’s a pause, and then the walkie talkie crackles to life. “Please don’t ever say that again. Swan is in the booth and Wolf has lured Handless Wonder away. I will now go and distract my grandpa. Author out.” 

 

“I thought we agreed on the name Sickening Dolt?” Zelena whines into the walkie talkie. “Greenie out.” 

 

Henry’s response comes with the clear image of him rolling his eyes. “That’s my grandpa, Greenie. Author out.” 

 

“Who’re you talking to?” Regina asks, stopping Zelena’s prompt retort. Zelena turns around. 

 

“Oh, just fair stuff, you know.” 

 

“I didn’t know you organised the fair?” Regina says, frowning. 

 

Zelena decides to play the guilty sister card. “Well you don’t really know anything about me, do you?” 

 

“Sure I do!” Regina says, and Zelena gapes as Regina smiles happily. “I looked you up!” 

 

Huh?

 

“I’m sorry what?” Zelena asks, confused. 

 

“In my magic mirror.” Regina says, with a ‘um duh!’ look on her face. Well. Clearly Regina is drunker than Zelena had originally thought, but it’ll do.

 

“I wanted to know about you. Cause you’re my sister. So, I looked you up. And I’m so sorry, you know, cause your father was a dick-” Zelena smiles tightly and drags her sister up from the bench. Regina stumbles- and then does the one thing that makes Zelena realise she needs to sober up. She giggles _girlishly._ No slight seductive undertone, or flirty connotations. It’s _rainbows_ with _pink sparkly_ _umbrellas_ and _cute baby piglets_ girly. 

 

“Right okay! That’s enough sharing about my past for today!” Zelena says, alarmed by Regina’s revelation of her mirror seeing stalker magic and even more so by the girlish giggle. She casts a quick sobering spell- a very light one, just to make sure that Regina remembers what happens next, and also so that she doesn’t kiss like a slobbering idiot. 

 

“Oh- um thanks.” Regina says, looking slightly surprised as the green smokes envelops her, and when it clears, she’s still tipsy enough to be manipulated, but sober enough to be the Queen she acts like everyday. 

 

“Say, how about we have some fun?” Zelena coos, and starts to walk towards the blue booth with the obvious red hearts on it. 

 

Regina eyes her, but her resolve not to do anything fun slides away as quickly as the next sip of rum. “I’m going to end up in a ditch somewhere if you don’t take this flask away from me.” She grumbles, but doesn’t protest against Zelena’s suggestion. “A drunk Queen usually tries to kill people- I’m just saying.” 

 

Zelena eyes her sister. “I’ll protect them, don’t worry.”

 

Regina snorts. “Right. Cause you’re soooo much more powerful than me.” 

 

Zelena shakes her head. Why was she trying to help this wretched sister of hers find happiness? 

 

Regina continues to talk as they walk. “You know, I really needed this,” She says, in a thoughtful tone. “Emma’s wedding is just-” She passes a hand tiredly over her face. “It’s Emma’s wedding.” She looks at Zelena, eyebrows raised. “Emma. Wedding.” 

 

Zelena grins. “Yeah, I know what you mean.” They stop in front of the booth, and Regina eyes it. Red sidles up the front, and winks at Zelena. 

 

“Right, so, you here to buy a ticket for the kissing booth?” Ruby asks, chipper.

 

“Kissing booth?” Regina turns to look at Zelena accusingly. “I don’t want to kiss a random commoner at the moment! I want-” She snaps her mouth shut. “What did you put in that rum?” The glare intensifies, and Zelena quickly turns away to hand money over to Ruby, who is grinning madly. 

 

“Look, Regina, I don’t know  _ how  _ long it’s been since you got some, but you need it. Pseudo Robin left with your more adventurous half, and let’s face it, real Robin’s been dead for quite some time now. Go kiss the person in there, boy or girl, and then let’s get you home! Four kisses, right inside that booth!” 

 

Regina eyes the red velvet curtain, and it must be the rum, and Zelena’s excellent manipulation, because she grabs the red ticket the Ruby is offering. “Fine. But if it’s Leroy, I will destroy your happiness-” 

 

“If it’s the last thing you do, yeah I got the memo.” Zelena pushes Regina towards the curtain. “We won’t tell them it’s you!” She winks, and Regina pushes the curtain aside, and steps in. Ruby knocks on the panel four times.  

 

Zelena smirks. “Phase one, complete.” 

 

Ruby looks at her, with slight awe. “So that was your plan. I just figured when you asked me to get Hook out of the way that you wanted to give Emma a smack on the lips yourself. But really- Regina? I’ve been trying to get those two together for god knows how long- flirting with one when the other was there, spilling coffee, leaving sandwiches, you know, and all I’ve gotten is fiery glares from Regina when I do that for Emma, and subtle threats from Emma when I do that for Regina. How?” 

 

Zelena studies her nails. “I had help. Henry.” 

 

Ruby snorts, and then chuckles. “Oh god, that kid never fails to make me laugh.” She shakes her head in amusement, and then squints. “Tell me Regina’s reaction, okay? I think I see Killian.” She rushes off, and Zelena waits. 

 

Ahh. She’d missed the days of master manipulation. And damn, was she good. 

 

********

 

Emma’s waiting when someone stumbles in, the smell of rum accompanying them. Ruby knocks, four times, and Emma grins. After an afternoon of the likes of Whale and August, Emma is more than ready to give her fiance a kiss. 

 

Emma leans forward, and to her surprise, smells a hint of perfume under the vague smell of rum that usually accompanies Killian everywhere. Had he been hugging- Regina? That was her perfume. Emma shrugs. She’d ask about it once this disastrous ordeal was over. 

 

She leans forward, and plants a strong kiss on Killian's- wait. Emma’s eyes shoot open, as her lips come into contact with a pair of soft, plump lips. Not Killian’s. The person kisses back, and Emma can’t help but continue the kiss, despite her strict three second rule. Her forehead brushes with another, and Emma breaks the kiss, astounded. 

 

Okay. That was by far the nicest kiss she’d received today. Shrugging, Emma leans forward again, and the person meets her halfway, hands brushing Emma’s. It’s electric, despite the fact that Emma has no idea who she’s kissing- which for some reason doesn’t make her nervous. Emma desperately wants to deepen the kiss, but Killian is on the forefront of her mind and so she doesn’t, guiltily allowing the kiss to last longer than three seconds again. 

 

It’s only when a tongue brushes Emma’s lips does she lean backwards, breaking the kiss once again, and nervously clears her throat to speak. The other person is silent, and what the hell, Emma goes in again for the third kiss, this time allowing entrance, and leaning over the table to grab the other person to pull them closer. The other person does so as well, and- well all thoughts of Killian slip from Emma’s mind, as tongue and teeth clash, and a moan escapes from Emma’s throat. 

 

The other person jumps, and Emma does as well, gasping as she realises what just happened. She just  _ made out  _ like a guilty high schooler with a random person (who could be Leroy for all she knew!) in a kissing booth. Oh Lord.

 

And then it gets worse. 

 

“Emma?” The other person asks, and oh god it’s fucking Regina. 

 

“Oh my god- Regina?” Emma squeaks, realising who she’s been kissing- rather passionately-  for the past five minutes. 

 

A light shines on Emma’s face, and Regina’s holding up her phone, which is softly illuminating her thunder struck face. 

 

“Emma?” Regina asks again- and there’s no doubt about it, Regina’s a little bit drunk. But Emma’s not, and she buries her face in her face in her hands, to stop the slowly rising blush. 

 

“What are you doing here?” Regina asks, still at a loss to understand why she suddenly found herself sharing an enthusiastic kiss with her engaged best friend. 

 

“Can we just forget this ever happened, please.” Emma declares, without lifting her face from her hands. “I wanna block this out of my memory. Forever.” She peeks up, and sees Regina’s confused face turn to one of utter nonchalance. 

 

“This is going to be so embarrassing when I’m not drunk.” Regina says, and Emma has to chuckle. 

 

“I wish I were drunk right now.” Emma mutters. 

 

Regina raises and eyebrow, and god help her, the look Regina gives Emma makes Emma want to kiss her again. Emma marvels at her ability to seem completely in control, even when obviously having consumed copious amounts of alcohol. Regina’s all Evil Queen, and Emma shifts uncomfortably because  _ damn  _ it’s sexy. 

 

“You still owe me another kiss,” Regina says. Then she leans in and chuckles, slowly,  _ dirtily _ in a way that makes Emma blush and reminds her of the days of heated arguments and sawing branches of trees. “Aren’t you going to give me a kiss?” There’s a definite purr to her voice, and Emma flushes and even deeper red. She’s so tempted, but there’s no one in this booth but them, and Regina is looking at her in a way that makes Emma just want to-  

 

“I guess I do?” Emma says, and just as she leans forward, there’s a loud knock on the panel. Ruby. 

 

“Will you two love birds hurry up already? We’ve got a line, Emma!” Emma turns red again, mortified, and when she glances at Regina, she see’s that the former queen is eyeing her with a look that is more suited to a leopard and it’s prey. Emma gulps. 

 

“I guess I’ll have to take a raincheck then.” Regina says, and then she  _ saunters  _ she fucking saunters out of the booth like nothing happened. Emma sits down, completely at a loss, and so when the next customer comes in, (Whale,  _ again _ ) she barely even notices the lips touching hers. 

 

What just happened?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: (Forgot to do this on the last chapter so...) I don't own any of these characters etc, etc.


	3. In which Regina's hangover is one of a kind

It’s 7:00 AM when Regina’s alarm blares, and pierces through her haze of sleep. It’s a rude awakening to the dream she’d been having- kissing Emma, in fact. A nice dream, all things considered. 

 

And then she’s awake, and sober,  _ horribly  _ hungover and she realises what happened. 

  
“ZELENA!” 

 

*********

 

Zelena, of course, is hiding at Granny’s in a booth with Henry, a hat over her head, and dark sunglasses on, holding a menu in front of her face. Henry gives her an odd look. 

 

“Why are you hiding like that?” 

  
Zelena gives her nephew a withering look. “Your mother, the evil queen, vengeance monster and  _ master  _ of revenge, is going to realise that I let her snog Emma in the inebriated state she was in yesterday. That, I pushed her to do it. At the back of her mind, she’s going to realise she liked it, and also  _ thank me  _ for giving her the opportunity to kiss someone she’s been wanting to kiss, ever since the charming idiot turned up on her doorstep. But, she’s also going to have a killer hangover, and a horrific embarrassing experience at the forefront of her mind. The first thing she will want to do, is skin me alive. The second thing she will want to do, is have coffee. I will confront her - after the coffee.” 

 

And sure enough, Regina comes in for her coffee. She’s dressed in a pantsuit, with a white shirt and grey blazer and trousers. She’s Mayor Mills again- the soft and kind Regina that the town had gotten used to completely gone. Her heels clip on the floor, and even though her purely evil side is supposedly gone, she commands attention just by walking in the room.

 

As she sidles up to order her takeaway coffee, her neatly painted blood red nails (which hadn’t been painted the night before) clip on the surface. As Ruby appears to take the order, Regina glares at her, and Ruby gulps, immediately wiping away the knowing look that had slowly inched itself onto her face when Regina had appeared. Zelena gapes at her sister, and Henry, noticing his aunt's reaction, laughs. 

 

“What you thought that because she would be incredibly hungover she’d look terrible? Puh-lease. She’s the Evil Queen. Or was. Whatever. My mom, even after nights of me vomiting up my stomach, or running away from home, somehow managed to look even more put together than usual.  _ I _ think it’s in the evil part, to be honest.” 

 

Zelena gives her nephew a look. “ _ I think _ you’ve tested this theory.” 

 

Henry shrugs. “It was one of my earliest realizations about the Evil Queen. Always looks glamorous, even after a terrible night or day.” He grins slightly. “I remember once I literally made her stay up two nights in a row, by pouring like ten espresso shots into the porridge I made her. For dinner.” He laughs. “She didn’t want to turn it down, and the next evening either- so….” He notices Zelena’s thunderstruck look. “What? Just because I’m technically not related to you doesn’t mean that I’m not wicked.” He winks. 

 

“My protege.” Zelena sighs, mussing her nephew’s hair.Then immediately snaps back to watch Regina, and nervously sinks behind the menu. 

 

Regina’s mood however, is a completely different matter. She snaps at Ruby, and grabs her coffee, and then, without taking a sip, catches her sister’s eye. A nasty grin appears on her face, and she walks up the table, imposingly. 

 

“Well, dear. It seems you directly disobeyed my request yesterday, and got me into some  _ excitement _ .” Regina purrs. Then she notices Henry, who is staring at her wide eyed. “Henry, dear. Go back to the house please. I don’t want you hanging around my sister today. ” Her voice is calm, but Henry glances at Regina, eyes wide, and then at Zelena, which clearly convey the message,  _ red alert, red alert!  _ He scrambles out of his seat, and then rushes towards the door. Regina smirks at her sister. 

 

“I haven’t been that drunk in a long time, Zel.” Regina says, and she tosses her hair back with a practiced flip. “I don’t appreciate your little stunt yesterday either.” Her eyes gleam, and she looks as though she is one second away from conjuring a fireball. 

 

For the first time, Zelena actually understands why people were afraid of Regina, and why currently Archie is hiding behind his own newspaper, hands quivering, at the table just opposite Regina. 

 

Zelena gulps. “Okay Regina, it was a joke.” Out of the corner of her eye, Zelena notices Emma enter the diner, a thin red hoodie wrapped tightly around her. Perhaps it was time for phase two, and also a way to fluster her freakily composed and put together hungover sister. 

 

“I’d watch my step, if I were you.” Regina says with a definite snarl, and Zelena watches out of the corner of her eye as Emma is served two coffees. She takes the cups, and walks towards the exit, not noticing Zelena and Regina who are at the booth right by the entrance. Zelena rubs her hands covertly under the table, eliciting a green spark that bounces between her fingers. Phase two it was, then. 

 

Regina gives her sister one last threatening glare, and then Zelena, casting a slight cooling spell on Emma’s drinks from afar, unties one of Emma’s shoelace with a careful piece of magic. It’s a beautiful moment, watching her handiwork come to fruition. Regina turns just as Emma reaches the door, and Emma, stunned by the sudden appearance of her clandestine kissing partner, and the untied shoelace, does a double take, and crashes into Regina, both Regina and Emma’s cups of hot (or not so hot thanks to the cooling spell) coffee splashing all over Regina’s white blouse, both of them crashing to the floor on top of each other. 

 

Zelena grins. Then brings out the walkie talkie as she watches both Regina and Emma flutter about like nervous hens. “Phase two complete. The Queen and the Swan have engaged in contact. And I mean, contact, contact. Greenie out.” 

 

*********

 

Emma wakes up, snuggled in Hook’s embrace. It’s nice at first, waking up to warm arms holding her tight, but as his lips seek hers, her eyes shoot wide open, as she remembers a pair of different lips from the day before. Pushing herself out of bed, she quickly begins to get dressed, guiltily ignoring Hook’s hurt look. 

 

“What’s the matter love?” He says. “Oh wait-” He breathes in his hand, sniffing. “Did I have bad morning breath?” 

 

Emma laughs, but there’s an edge. “No, sorry Killian. I just really- um…” She struggles to find an excuse for her odd behaviour, other than,  _ I kissed my former mortal enemy/son’s mother/ best friend/reformed Evil Queen yesterday and I think I liked it  _ so she goes with the easiest excuse. “I have this wild craving for coffee.” She says, and nods her head, eyes wide. “As in, I need coffee now or I’ll die.” 

 

Killian flops back down on the pillow, sighing. “Alright. Would you mind getting me a cup, love?” He turns over, and Emma sighs, realising he buys her excuse. 

 

“Of course.” Grabbing a light hoodie,she shrugs it on, and snaps her fingers, calling the silvery smoke that comes with her magic. She arrives outside of Grannys, shivering, realising that her thin jacket might not have been the best fashion choice for the beginning of November. Mussing her hands through her blonde curls, she steps inside, muscles relaxing at the wave of warmth that rushes over her body as she opens the door. 

 

“Two coffees, to go.” She says, not looking Ruby in the eye. “Oh and Rubes? Please don’t ever mention yesterday to me again. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to look Regina in the eye ever thanks to you.” 

  
Ruby smirks, and pours two steaming black cups of coffee. “Wouldn’t dream of it. And I won’t tell him that you took way longer than four kisses in there.” Her eyes gleam with mischief, and Emma licks her lips nervously. 

 

“Whatever Rubes. I was tired, and I thought-” She flushes. “I thought it was Killian.” Ruby raises an eyebrow, and Emma slams the money down on the counter. “Just- nevermind.” There’s a definite grumble in her tone as she grabs the cups of coffee, and walks towards the door. 

 

Of course, disaster has to strike, and Emma curses her choice in shoes as a shoelace is undone, causing her to trip. It’s really in slow motion, what happens next- because this moment will forever be imprinted on her mind. Much like yesterday's events. 

 

Her feet stumble and trip, the coffee in her hands splashing over her palms. Surprisingly, it doesn’t sting, but Emma doesn’t notice, because as she tilts forward, about to fall, she’s greeted with a snarling Regina, who turns around only to crash right into Emma. Both of their eyes open wide with horror, and Emma falls, desperately wishing she’d never gotten out of bed that morning. 

 

They end up on the floor, and when Emma opens her eyes, after wincing from the impact, she notices she is on top of a very unamused Regina. Her usually perfectly styled hair is out of place, and her white blouse is just a mess of coffee, and sticks to her chest. Emma tries not to notice how it’s become see through, and instead attempts to get off Regina immediately. 

 

This of course doesn’t go smoothly, and instead of just making an undignified moment even more undignified, Emma attempts to push herself off Regina, intent on helping her get up. Naturally, she makes the mistake of pressing her hands on Regina’s chest in her struggle to stand. This gets her an annoyed ‘oof!’ from Regina, and Emma freezes as she notices where her hands are, seizing her movements. 

 

“Ms. Swan.” Regina drawls. “Kindly remove your hands from my-” Regina coughs delicately and there’s a definite smirk in her voice when she speaks again, “Chest area.” Emma carefully lifts her hands off Regina’s boobs, and sits dumbly, frozen. Damn her automatic reaction of clenching her hands around Regina’s- well- Emma shakes her head and feels her heart begin to beat faster at the embarrassment (oh god this actually was sort of nice-) of all of this. 

 

“Now, please stand up.” If possible, Emma turns a darker shade of red as she notices she’s practically straddling Regina, who is looking at her with one eyebrow raised, lying on the floor, covered in coffee. The situation hits Emma with full force, and she groans, standing up immediately, offering a hand to Regina, who ignores it, standing up by herself. 

 

“Regina-” Emma begins to babble, and grabs a wad of tissue papers from the nearest table, desperately trying to dab away the coffee. Then freezes, as she realises that she’s currently swiping at Regina’s- _ chest area  _ (Emma refuses to think of the word  _ boobs  _ because otherwise she might run away and hide in a hole)- again. She stumbles back, still talking. 

 

“I’m so sorry, my shoelaces were untied and I didn’t see you- and then you turned around, and oh god are you hurt are you okay? That was hot coffee- maybe we should get you to the hospital. No you know what I’ll call Whale here right now-” With the coffee covered tissues in her hand, standing in front of a very amused Regina, she looks a pathetic sight. 

 

Regina slaps a hand to Emma’s mouth, who stops talking instantly. “Emma.” She says, sounding exasperated. “How about we step outside.” Emma freezes her movements once again, and looks around, seeing that everyone in the diner is staring at her.

 

She hears a loud snickering begin to fill the diner, and looks over to see Ruby laughing, bent over wheezing. She glares at her, but Ruby ignores the venom and just continues to wheeze. Zelena as well, in the corner, is giggling very suspiciously, and pretty sure Emma can hear the whole previously silent diner (including a very unsubtle Leroy) join in with quiet sniggers and snorts of laughter. Emma shuffles her feet, and refuses to look at Regina as she nods her head. 

 

“Right. Yeah that might be a good idea.” Emma nervously opens the door for Regina, feeling even more guilty when the cold air hits a sodden Regina. Behind her she hears a wolf whistle, and some clapping, and she closes the door with a bit more force than usual. 

 

Regina walks outside, and with a spark of magic on her fingers, her blouse is white and crisp again, no sign of coffee. She turns to Emma, and there is something flat in her expression. 

 

“Look- agh - God Regina this is so awkward-” Emma begins, and fiddles with the ties of her hoodie. “Yesterday was-” She clears her throat, and looks at Regina, who is studiously studying her shoes. “It was….” She trails off. 

 

There’s a pause, and all Emma can hear is the chirping of the birds. A sharp and cold breeze whispers by her, and Emma shivers, her toes curling from the cold wet coffee that covers them. Emma waves her hand as the silence continues, drying her wet shoes. Regina shuffles her feet, and then speaks. 

 

“I was drunk, by the way. Not that it makes it any, well, better.” She looks flustered, and Emma notices her appearance. She’s dressed in a way that Emma hasn’t seen in a long time, and quite frankly had missed. 

 

“Mayor Mills making a reappearance then?” Emma says, a chuckle in her voice. “I haven’t seen you wear a pantsuit since- well forever.”    
  


Regina picks at her grey jacket. “I felt like a change. And when I’m hungover I tend to go a bit Evil Queen- so this was the next best thing.” 

 

Emma scrunches her nose. Regina still wasn’t looking at her. 

 

“You called me Ms. Swan back in the diner.” She says, and for some reason, there’s only a simple element of curiosity in her voice. Not hurt, or anger at the regression back to the name that had once symbolised Regina’s antagonism towards Emma- just- curiosity. 

 

Regina doesn’t look up. “Yes well, it was an accident.” But it wasn’t, Emma notices. She’s lying, and Emma’s truth radar pings. 

 

“Regina…” Emma sighs. “We can’t skip around what happened, okay? It was an mistake, a huge one, for the both of us. You were drunk, and I don’t know who Zelena told you was in there, or what you had to do, but you obviously weren’t yourself yesterday. And I….” Emma blushes. “Well you smelled like rum. So I just assumed you were Killian. Until that is you…” Emma coughs, and skates over the truth a little, “spoke, that is. So let’s just forget it, okay?” 

 

Regina finally looks up, and Emma notices that her eyes are cold, not the eyes that have, in this past year, looked at her with fondness, and friendship, and  _ warmth.  _ “Yes. A mistake. Now, if you don’t mind, Emma, I am going to go home. Henry will be wondering where I am.” There’s a stiff and rigid element to her voice, and she turns around, heels clipping on the sidewalk, purple smoke soon enveloping her, carrying her away. Emma stays, dumbstruck. 

 

“Okay, what just happened?” She mutters, before heading back inside Granny’s to give Ruby a slap on the head and get some more coffee. 

 

********

A windy, cold November day, and the crows are cawing, autumn leaves swirling. Two figures emerge from either side of the park, one dressed in a familiar checkered scarf and blue jacket, the other, in a black suit with a large floppy hat and sunglasses. Red hair tumbles down her back, and she sneaks her way over to a park bench, sitting on one side. The other figure, pulling his scarf tighter around his neck, gives an exasperated sigh, and sits on the other edge. 

 

“Auntie Zelena…” Henry says, a familiar note of fondness in his voice. “What’s with the outfit?”  

 

Zelena eyes his brown winter jacket and simple jeans. “I’m trying to be covert. Regina’s out to get me, Henry.” There’s a definite tinge of panic in her voice as she plops down on the park bench. “I can feel it.” 

 

Henry shakes his head wearily. “She’s not out to get you, trust me. She’s been at the office all day. I don’t know what she’s up to, but she’s definitely not concerned with you at the moment.” 

  
Zelena slumps further down. “ _ Whatever, _ Henry. You don’t understand the dynamics of us evil folk. They’re far more complicated than you could ever imagine.” There’s a pause, before Zelena pushes away her ‘worry’, and continues, a definite slyness in her voice. “Anyway, how’s the Saviour?” 

 

Henry shrugs. “Been avoiding my mom and my grandma all day. When Emma came by the house today to drop round some school work I’ve left at her apartment, she literally fell over trying to get back to the car when she met my mom at the door.” Then he narrows his eyes. “What did you do, Zelena?” 

 

Zelena smirks lightly, her glimmering eyes hid by the heavy sunglasses. “Just a little incident that I happened to cause earlier this morning.” 

 

Henry sighs. “What. Did. You. Do.” 

 

A pause, and then Zelena sighs. “Imadethemcrashintoeachotherandthenfalloneachotherand

pourcoffeeoneachotheraccidentallyanditwasreallyfunnyandthentheybothwereallshycauseEmmatouchedRegina’sboobsandRubywaslaughingandIknowitwasn’tpartoftheplanbutpleaseHenryitwasaperfectopportunity.” 

 

Henry shakes his head. “Okay wait say that slowly again?” 

 

“I made them crash into each other this morning, and they fell on each other- and then Emma accidentally groped Regina and it was fucking hilarious.” Zelena says, and she twists her jacket between her fingers. 

 

Henry raises an eyebrow, a carbon copy of his dark haired mother. “Did it work?” 

 

Zelena grins. “Of course it did. I haven’t seen any one so embarrassed since Emma nearly got engaged to my flying monkey.” 

 

“Huh. Right, that was you.” Henry scrunches up his nose. “I liked Walsh!” 

 

Zelena sniggers, a reminiscent look in her eyes. “When you’re the latest evil character, you’ve got to trump the last one. I thought flying monkey love was pretty evil.” She smirks. “Plus, you’ve got to thank me, because I’ve only been part of this family for a few months and I’ve heard more flying monkey jabs at Emma than I can bear.” 

 

Henry snorts. “Yes, it truly is a rich area for jokes.” 

  
Zelena smirks. “I’ve come up with the perfect wedding gift for Hook, though, in case our plan doesn’t work. A backup scenario, you know?” 

 

Henry raises an eyebrow. “Oh? And what’s that, then?” 

 

Zelena giggles slightly, before straightening her face. “A pair of wings, because, you know, he’s already got the monkey part down, but actually being able to do something remotely interesting, like  _ flying _ , he needs help with.” 

 

Henry just sighs. “Uh, Auntie Zelena. That one was already used by my mom, like a week ago.” 

 

“Dammit.” 

 

Henry shakes his head. “Anyway. As long as I never witness any of your next plans, I’d say we’re good. I am so glad I was not there to see Emma  _ grope  _ my mom.” There’s disgust evident in his tone, and Zelena chuckles softly. 

 

“Of course not, Henry. So, stage three.” Zelena purses her lips. “What was the name again?” 

 

Henry gets a familiar gleam in his eye. “Operation Mistletoe.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have loads of chapters that are ready to be posted; however I am going to be slowing down- just a warning. However, I hope you enjoyed this chapter!


	4. In which Snow attempts to have a family dinner

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hah I lied, here's another chapter because they're just sitting there looking at me begging 'please post me before you delete me because you changed your mind about the plot'. So, here's another chapter. Also, thank you so much if you reviewed; they make my day!

The cold and dreary days only darkened as November ended, and December rounded the corner. Hook and Emma had agreed on a winter wedding, and the date was all set and ready to go on December 27th, which meant that Regina had a little more than three weeks to rid herself of any and all feelings for Emma Swan. 

 

Ever since the ‘diner incident’ and the ‘fiasco at the fair’, Regina had been oddly shy around Emma. The blonde had quickly recovered from her mortification about accidentally feeling Regina up at the diner, as well as the kiss, and returned to their usual comfortable if not flirtatious, friendship. 

 

The problem was, was that every touch on her shoulder, every wink in her direction or even the subtle digs the two usually engaged in made her cheeks flare up with a pink rosy color that hadn’t been seen there since the days of Daniel and the stables. It was ridiculous, really. A mild infatuation, probably stemming from the fact that Emma was now - well-  _ forbidden fruit  _ \- if you’d excuse the minor pun. 

 

There had always been chemistry between the two, that Regina was well aware of. The days of snarls and petty insults had brought life back into the world that had grown mundane and often cold, what with her beloved son calling her the Evil Queen, and mindless citizens and monotonous days becoming a blur around her. But then Emma had come into her life, a splash of yellow and red, and suddenly Regina had a challenge again, as well as a fight for her son’s love. 

 

So somehow, it still surprised her, that nothing had ever  _ really _ happened between the two. Sure, there had been enough eye sex to do the talking, but apart from leering once overs and eyes flickering to parts of the body they shouldn’t have- the fact remained that Regina had kissed Emma Swan for the first time in a dark and dank booth, drunk off her ass and enjoying every minute of it. 

 

And then there had been the- oh god-  _ diner incident.  _ In which, to put it lightly, Regina had been groped by Emma in front of some of the most gossip prone people in Storybrooke. Hook had banged on her door the next morning, and Regina had spent a large part of two hours and many cups of coffee trying to explain to Hook that she was in no way after  _ his woman  _ as he had put it, much to Regina’s utter disdain and disgust. 

 

Regina didn’t  _ like  _ Hook one bit, to put it lightly, but if Emma wanted him, then Emma would get him. And she wouldn’t let her silly infatuation stand in the way of Emma’s happy ending,  _ again.  _ No, she’d done enough damage with the curse. Even if she couldn’t regret that choice to cast the Dark curse, because ultimately it had gotten her Henry, she still felt pangs of guilt when Snow and David exclaimed their happiness about being able to be there for another milestone in Emma’s life, for example,  _ her wedding.  _

 

So Regina was on Black Fairy patrol, in order to make sure that Emma’s wedding was perfect. Such was the duty as Maid of Honor, as far as Regina was concerned. Snow could stick those flower arrangements up her ass. 

 

As long as she wasn’t caught in another compromising position with the women she now called her closest friend, everything would be absolutely fine. 

 

“You have got this under control.” Regina says, to her reflection in the mirror. And since no one is around, she points her finger at the reflection, and sternly lifts her eyebrows. “No more fantasies about Emma, no more thinking about kissing her, about touching her, about-” Regina lapses into a slight daydream, and her pointed finger begins to droop, before she snaps up again, uncharacteristic guilt displayed across her face. “Damnit!” 

 

She has got this under  _ control.  _

 

Straightening up, Regina swipes some dark crimson lipstick across her lips, and, fluffing her hair, she dons the suit jacket that is hanging over her vanity table chair. She smirks at her reflection, enjoying the feel of the cold blue silk blouse on her skin. Her power suits had unconsciously become her armour, much like her Evil Queen regala, during her days in Storybrooke. However, as she’d been accepted into the Charming family, and gained a family of her own, the need for the cool confidence the high waisted trousers and tailored blouses gave her faded. 

 

But with Emma getting married, and her feelings for the blonde spinning out of control for the first time since Emma had arrived in Storybrooke, Regina had turned once again to the grey and black clothing that she found she had missed terribly. Sure, everyone had been more than startled by the return of the Mayor Mills they had known as cruel and intimidating, but Regina didn’t mind. 

 

All this was, was a mild infatuation. There was no way that- no. She was not  _ in love  _ with Emma Swan. Three little kisses did not make her in love with Emma. She loved the blonde- yes, as a friend. Emma was the only one besides Henry who could cheer her up on a bad day, and….well, she’d do anything for her, really. But in love? Regina worries her lip between her teeth, wondering how on earth her mind had managed to conjure up such a- a  _ ridiculous  _ notion. 

 

Slipping on a pair of heels, Regina sets her shoulders straight. Then, waving her hands, she poofs herself into the Charming’s kitchen, arriving in a dramatic purple smoke, only to see Emma standing in the familiar red leather jacket, the return of the once hated coat for the first time in a year or so. 

 

Emma gives her a hesitant smile as she helps Snow with the dinner for that evening. Regina stares wide eyed at the jacket, and meets Emma’s eyes, who raises an eyebrow, and mouths,  _ ‘like what you see?’ _ . 

 

“I so do not have this under control.” Regina mutters, her gut twisting in a familiar feeling as she watches Emma move around the kitchen, her jacket bringing back memories that Regina had forgotten. 

 

***************

 

Zelena watches as her sister ogles Emma’s red leather jacket with eyes that look more suited to a hungry animal than a woman looking at her ‘best friend’. She licks her lips in anticipation for what will come later on that evening. Oh, how she’d missed her wicked manipulation. 

 

“Henry?” She calls, over to where her nephew has just come down from the stairs. “Come talk to your Auntie Zelena for a quick second. I have some knitting patterns I want to show you!”

Henry rolls his eyes as he plonks on the sofa next to Zelena. “You know, you don’t have to justify talking to me. And now my Ma’s looking at you weird, because like hell you knit.” 

 

Zelena glares at the boy. “Language! Also-” She reaches into her bag, bringing out a spool of yarn attached to an emerald green blanket. “I’m trying to knit a baby blanket for Robyn, thank you very much!” 

 

“Right. So, the mistletoe is in place, up in Emma’s room. I’ll get my mom up there, and then you ask Emma for a sweatshirt or something- cause you’re cold.” 

 

Zelena wrinkles her nose. “That’s so basic. And besides, Emma’s sweatshirts are hideous. Which is probably why my sister is attracted to her, she never did have good taste.” 

 

Henry just sighs. “It’s a good excuse, Auntie Zelena.” 

 

“I mean, I don’t want to wear one of your mother’s ratty old rags just for the sake of helping her! No! Why can’t Regina just ever pick someone to have undeniable chemistry with who is remotely stylish?” She makes a face, and Henry just shakes his head.

 

“You done with your rant?” 

  
Zelena glares at him. “No. I had to put up with Robin for  _ months,  _ Henry,  _ months.  _ His fashion sense is the literal version of, ‘I woke up like this’, and ‘Yes, I did get pulled through a bush backwards.’ It’s terrible.” 

 

Henry just looks at her. 

 

“Okay, I’m done, I’m done. Just saying, despite the fact that he was the god of death, Hades at least didn’t dress in fashions that were long gone, much like your dear mother over there with her untasteful red leather jacket.” 

 

“Noted. But could you just go along with the excuse,  _ please?”  _ Henry whines, already exhausted by his exuberant aunt. 

 

“I just don’t like it, that’s all.” Zelena sniffs.  

 

“Well do you have a better excuse?” 

 

Zelena sighs dramatically. “No, I do not.” Of course she does. 

 

“Anyway. They-” Henry waves his hands, a disgusted look on his face, “Kiss or whatever, and that’s day one of operation mistletoe done. Mistletoe is magically enchanted so they can only get out with a kiss.” He sighs. “It’s sort of obvious, which is why I have arranged for numerous mistletoe to be placed around so Killian and Emma also get a smooch in.” 

 

Zelena makes a mock gesture of pride, placing her hand against her heart. “I’m so proud of my little manipulative protege.”

 

Henry continues ignoring her, though his eyes gain a more calculative gleam. “Day two will be on Wednesday. A few kisses under mistletoe, spaced out throughout the month, culminating in the day before Emma’s wedding, a last chance, of sorts. I anticipate that we will not need day ten.”  He puts his hands in his lap, and laces them together, odd satisfaction clear on his face. 

 

“Right. And as for Operation-get-Regina-to-admit-she-digs-chicks, I am working on the perfect plan.” Zelena says, with a wild grin. 

 

Henry eyes her. “Alright….and what about Emma?” He frowns. “Wait does she even like girls?” Suddenly his eyes go wide. “Oh my gosh what if we’re just interpreting things wrong?” 

 

Zelena looks at him, a condescending expression clear on her face. “My dear little boy. She used to wear flannel, and wife beaters like they were a uniform.  If she wasn’t the slightest bit gay, I’d be worried.” 

 

Henry wrinkles his nose. “And my mom? How do you know  _ she  _ likes girls?” 

 

“Just...just trust me. I know.” Not that she was going to scar little Henry’s ears with the terrifying gossip about the Evil Queen. 

 

Because Zelena heard many things about the Evil Queen during her stint as Oz’s reigning tyrant, including the Queen’s voracious appetite for anything that was attractive, human, and above twenty. Something, that apparently had never come up in either Emma or Regina’s conversations, judging by Emma’s complete obliviousness to Regina’s sexuality. A little subtle digging from Zelena, and eh voila, Emma thought Regina was as straight as an arrow. 

 

Obviously not, judging by Maleficent’s knowing (and slightly predatory) smirk whenever Regina referred to her as her only ‘friend’ in the Enchanted Forest. 

 

“Ah. Right. I see your point.” Henry says, and then makes a face. “Gosh, I never thought an operation to parent trap my moms would involve so much kissing.” 

 

Zelena smirks. “Oh, it’s going to involve a lot more than that. I think the best way to get them to admit their love for one another is True Love’s shag.” 

  
“Oh God! Auntie Zel! Just- no!” 

 

**************

 

Emma moves around the kitchen easily, dancing around her mother’s extremely overenthusiastic questions about her wedding. They’ve set the date, with much discomfort on Emma’s part, and now, more than ever, there has been way too much conversation about flower arrangements, dresses and something called ‘placement cards’. 

 

If it were up to Emma, she’d just have asked for a small simple affair- even a little ceremony at the Town Hall. Nothing big. 

 

But, it was Snow’s dream to see her married in white and at an altar, and for some reason it seemed to be Killain’s as well, so Emma had quietly acquiesced, her wish for a quiet ceremony with only her family and a few close friends turning into a celebration for the Savior and princess of the Enchanted Forest. 

 

“Darling, why don’t we get Regina, Ruby and Lily together tomorrow for a bit of wedding dress shopping?” Is the first question Emma is bombarded with the moment she had walked through the door. She’d waved it off, mumbling some kind of agreement, but the questions had only increased. 

 

“Mom!” Emma says, interrupting her mother’s rant about the difference between purple and lilac. “I really don’t mind if the flowers have one different shade of colour, okay?” 

 

Snow looks hurt for one moment, before her face shifts into humorous sympathy. “I’m sorry Emma. I’m just excited. You take after your father in that way, I suppose.” She raises an eyebrow at David, who is sitting next to Killian on the sofa, yelling at the television as they watch football, (something that Killian has become overly obsessed with.) 

 

Emma notices out of the corner of her eye, Regina walking up the stairs to Emma’s small room. She briefly wishes she could follow her friend; the thought however vanishes immediately when she realises that they will have been alone for the first time in two weeks or so. So far they’d only ever talked around each other when they were in a more social settings; no more quick lunch meetings or visits to the Sheriff's office. Emma hadn’t noticed until now, but it makes her grimace slightly. 

 

Ever since the diner accident, Emma had tried her best to get back to normal with Regina. She’d ramped up the light insults, the jabs, even tried to get into one of their blowout fights in attempts to hide the fact that every time she was around the brunette, all she wanted to do was kiss her. 

 

Not good, if you have a fiancee. The only thing was, was that Regina had been oddly subdued around Emma, only ever responding to their usual banter with mumbled retorts, and the occasional spiteful snub, but nothing that would get a reaction from Emma. They only ever talked about Henry, where he was going to be that week. It was frustrating for Emma- yet oddly relieving as she didn’t have to try and cover up her embarrassment at being so attracted to her closest friend. 

 

Attraction. That’s all it was. She was mildly attracted to Regina, just like she had been from the moment Regina had turned up at her doorway, basket of apples in her hand and that damning smirk on her face. Emma had always been able to bury it- like her attraction to other unsuitable straight friends (none, of course, which had been her son’s other mother, but still), but now it was resurfacing with a vengeance, due to the kisses at the fair, and the diner incident. What made it worse, was that Emma was pretty sure Regina was wholly uncomfortable with what had happened. 

 

Sure, she’d always been slightly crazy about Regina, and had felt a horrible pang of disappointment when Regina hadn’t done anything but smile and agree to be her maid of honor when she’d announced she was engaged- but- that was besides the point. Regina didn’t like her, in that way, and now Emma was about to get married. End of story. 

 

But was it? Emma’s mind rebels against her attempts at blocking out the kiss at the fair, and how Regina had seem fully invested in it.  _ Until she realised it was you.  _ Emma thinks, and glances determinedly at the carrots she is cutting. 

 

The blonde shakes her head, divesting her of the thoughts currently plaguing her mind. Instead, she grabs a small peanut and lobs it at Killian’s head. He looks up, laughing, and Emma grins. “Get your ass in here right now, Hook. My mom’s driving me crazy with all the wedding talk. Cut the chicken up will you. ” 

 

Rubbing his head, Killian makes his way over to the kitchen, Snow’s huff of exasperation making Emma chuckle. Kissing her on the lips, he grabs a knife and wanders over to the small roasted chicken on the kitchen counter. “Alright Swan, what’ll you have me do with this?” 

 

Emma raises an eyebrow. “Carve the chicken, please. ” 

 

Killian looks vaguely uncomfortable. “Alrighty then!” He says, and there is definite faux-cheerfulness in his voice. Before Emma can enquire as to why he sounds so off, he grabs the knife with a strong grip, flips the chicken over, and with a strong, single stroke, disembowels the already disemboweled chicken, leaving it hollow, with a mess of bones and meat on the counter. Emma gapes. 

 

“My chicken!” Snow wails, as she gathers the small bits in her hands. “I spent hours working on that!” 

 

“You’ve- never….carved a chicken.” Emma says, and there’s a note of laughter in her voice. “Oh my god.” 

  
Killian has the grace to look ashamed. “I just thought it would be the same as any old man-” He stops, suddenly. “Not that I- I didn’t carve men-”

 

Emma’s laughter stops, but Snow sighs. “David did the same thing.” She notices how that sounds, and quickly amends her statement. “I mean- with the chicken- the first time we-” She stops suddenly. “Well to be honest it was also because of the whole disembowelment using a sword thing.” 

 

“What?” Emma now is green. “David disemboweled people?” 

 

Snow gives her an odd look. “Of course! We were at war!” 

 

Emma smiles weakly. “I’m going to sit down for a bit.” She wanders over to the sofa and collapses, stomach fluttering. Ah yes, her fiance the expert on disembowelment. Her father as well, apparently. And Regina was supposed to be the Evil Queen. 

 

“Emma, I have a request.” A sly voice sounds from the other side of the sofa. 

 

_ Oh great.  _

 

“Zelena.” Emma says with a slight groan. “What can I do for you?”

 

There’s something odd with the way that Zelena rubs her hands together with some sort of glee as Emma says this. 

 

“I’m so happy you asked that. It happens to be my time of the month, Emma. And I was wondering, apparently in this land, you have something called- what’s the word- right, tam-poons. Regretfully, I have yet to try them out.” 

 

Emma stifles a laugh. “Tampons, you mean. Yeah, I got some of those.” It’s Zelena’s wicked smirk that makes Emma regret her statement. “You want me to fetch some of them?” She says, quickly. 

 

There’s something in Zelena’s expression that signals disappointment. “Well- yes. I thought you would need more persuading.” 

 

Emma holds her hands up, expression understanding. “Hey, when it’s a woman’s time of the month, I got you.” 

 

She lumbers up the steps, and suddenly she hears Henry ask, “Couldn’t just go with the sweatshirt?” before Zelena grumbles- something about “excuses….a whole monologue….bloody…gory...wicked-” But she’s upstairs before she can think of what it really meant. 

 

And of course, she just happens to smash right into a surprised Regina, as she exits Emma’s old bedroom. 

 

As if that weren’t bad enough, there’s some odd green thing twining it’s way around their bodies, and now Emma’s veeerrryyy close to Regina and- 

 

Damnit. Of course this had to happen. Just perfect. 

 

************

 

 

Regina groans as the green mistletoe twines its way around their bodies. It slowly wraps it’s way around them, forming a tight embrace leaving them helplessly bound together. Leave it to Snow to put up some magical mistletoe that only releases its victims once they’ve kissed. 

 

(Regina briefly considers her malicious sister the cause- the diner incident had been all too coincidental- but dismisses the thought because it’s  _ Snow and Christmas and mistletoe  _ so of course it’s the blabbering fool  _ who she is actually fond of but nevermind  _ because who else would be so stupid to get magically enchanted mistletoe?) 

 

She’s contemplating calling up the buffoon herself, making her witness her darling daughter kiss the Evil Queen because of Snow’s own idiocy in getting this damn mistletoe. Unfortunately that means everyone else  _ and that means  _ that the pirate will once again ‘have a talk’ with Regina, not to mention the smirks Zelena will send her way- no. 

 

“What’s- what’s going on?” Emma sounds absolutely terrified, and why shouldn’t she be? The green vines have wrapped them in an all encompassing cocoon, the only light shining down from a slight opening. She can just make out Emma’s face in the shadowy darkness, and judging from the way Emma’s lips (not that she was focusing on them) are downturned, she’s not happy. 

 

“We seem to have been caught in some  _ magic mistletoe. _ ” Regina says, a snarl in her voice. “Your mother, undoubtedly was the cause, hoping that you and the pirate would be ensnared.” Try as she may, she can’t help but let a smidge of jealousy filter into her tone. 

 

“Oh.” Emma looks slightly stumped for a second, before wriggling vigorously. Of course, this means she wriggles rather violently against Regina, who has to look up at the light for a second and thinks  _ rats, the plague, onion rings, Snow freaking White-  _ in order to make sure she doesn’t-  _ react.  _

 

“I can’t free my hands.” She sounds frustrated, and stops the wriggling, much to Regina’s ( _ disappointment _ ) relief. 

 

“And why were you trying to free your hands?” Regina drawls. 

 

“To try and blast us out of here, of course!” Emma says, scowling. “I don’t want to be stuck in a magical mistletoe forever!” 

 

Regina raises an eyebrow, and then sighs. “Emma, the only way out of here is a kiss. Mistletoe, remember?” 

 

Emma opens her mouth- and the closes it. “What- like- a kiss on the cheek or something?” Her voice is high pitched and nervous, and Regina’s expression is stilted. 

 

“No, Emma.” 

 

“So a quick peck on the forehead then.” 

 

“No, Emma.” 

 

“Why don’t I just call my mom and Killian and-” 

 

“NO Emma.” 

 

“Yeah you’re right I think Henry would be better at figuring this out-” 

 

“FOR FUCKS SAKE JUST KISS ME ALREADY!” 

 

That definitely shuts Emma up, who closes her mouth with a snap. “You- want me to kiss you?” Her voice is hoarse, and Regina can’t help the lump that forms in her throat because  _ yes yes of course  _ she wants Emma to kiss her, but Emma sounds absolutely revolted- 

 

“Emma, no magic works on a vine like this. I may have had- some experience with this particular plant before.” Regina grimaces remembering that particular incident with Rumple, the magic mistletoe, and a very pleased Jefferson. There was a reason why the Mad Hatter had been punished so harshly in the curse. She’d blocked that memory out of her mind- as had Rumple, most likely _.  _

 

Or not, judging from his little affair with her other half. Regina still goes green at the thought of  _ her and the imp.  _ Her Hyde half really had been evil. 

 

“Oh. Sorry.” Emma sighs. “Okay, just get it over with.” She sounds extremely reluctant, Regina notices.

 

Regina swallows her hurt, and leans forward-

 

Before Emma leans back. 

 

“Sorry.” Emma says again, and Regina notices her face is bright red. “This is just a lot like last time.” 

 

“When you thought I was Hook?” Regina is holding back definite hurt now, and she hates how vulnerable she’s become suddenly. 

 

Emma winces. “Um- yeah. This is really bad luck, isn’t it. I mean-” She titters nervously. “We haven’t ever done the whole touchy hug girly thing and now we’re gonna have kissed what- twice in the space of two weeks?” 

 

Regina furrows her brow, and attempts to make a joke, to lighten the atmosphere. “Think of it as a last fling. One last chance to get a real good kiss in, before you become Mrs. Jones forever. ” Regina ignores the pain in her heart at those words. Mrs. Jones definitely didn’t sound as nice as Ms. Swan.  _ Or as nice as Mrs. Swan-Mills.  _ Her traitorous mind whispers. 

 

Emma laughs lightly, and Regina’s heart warms ever so slightly. “Good thing you aren’t a random stranger, ey?” Regina can’t help but feel happy that their light banter is back, as she responds.

 

“I should hope not! Feel honored, not many get to kiss the Evil Queen twice and live to tell the tale.” 

 

Emma smirks. “Well I guess I’m just a lucky gal then.” 

 

There’s a silence, and both of them sit, meshed in with the vines, bodies pressed against each other. Regina wonders if Emma can hear how fast her heart is pumping, and how whenever Emma’s fingers graze her thigh from where they’re held in place, her breath hitches- 

 

“I don’t want things to be weird, between us, you know?” Emma says, breaking the silence. “You’re my- my best friend.” She blushes. “I know that sounds juvenile, but it’s true.” 

 

Regina smiles warmly. “You’re my best friend as well, Emma.” 

 

Even though what she’s trying to say is something completely different. 

 

So they both lean in again, and as their lips touch each other's, Regina melts. She doesn’t even think as the kiss begins to get more heated, and as the vines draw back, about stopping the kiss. Regina feels a moan reverberate through her throat, as Emma grazes her bottom lip with her teeth, and soon finds herself pushing Emma back, the blonde making a small thumping noise as she hits the back wall. Emma’s hands find their way into Regina’s hair, and Regina can’t help but let out a breathy chuckle as Emma tries to push back against Regina, in an attempt to gain control. She doesn’t stop the kiss, not for a good amount of time and carries on until the kiss ends. 

 

And it does, much to Regina’s chagrin, when a screech from Snow makes them jump apart, eyes wide at what just happened  _ again.  _

 

“RAT IN THE KITCHEN!” Snow’s screaming downstairs, and it sounds like someone is chasing after said rat with a pan. There’s crashes and bangs, and chaos, but Regina’s mind is swirling, as she lifts a hand to touch her swollen lips, and in an almost mirror image, Emma does the same. 

 

“What was that?” Regina says, a whisper that is loud enough for them both to hear. She isn’t asking about Snow. 

  
“A- a mistake.” Emma says, but there’s something that sounds oddly like fear in her voice. “I’m sorry.” She bolts down the stairs, leaving Regina in the small quiet hall. 

 

*************

Regina finally does break out of her reverie, and heads downstairs, and finds a red faced Emma sitting on the sofa, Killian’s arm around her. She turns, curtly, in the opposite direction, and helps Snow with cleaning up the remains of what was supposed to be a nice Friday night dinner. 

 

“A rat just came out of nowhere.” Snow says, mournfully picking up the pieces of what looks to be a heavily cut up chicken. “I was going to check up on you and Emma- what were you doing up there?” She shakes her head. “Never mind. And it just jumped at me! Out of nowhere!” She makes a poof motion with her hands, and chicken bits fly into the open dustbin.

 

Regina narrows her eyes, but feels a sliver of relief at the timing of this fortunate rat. There was no telling what would have happened had Snow chanced upon the  _ mistake  _ that Emma and Regina had made upstairs. 

 

“And then Killian and David tried to kill it- and they did but not before-” Snow shakes her head, forlorn. “My cranberry sauce!” She wails, as she rounds the island table that’s in the middle of the kitchen. “I didn’t even realise that they knocked it over!” 

 

Regina shakes her head, a hint of glee edging it’s way across her face. “Your dinner’s are always doomed to fail, Snow. Next time we should have it at  _ my  _ house.” Despite her whole ‘good’ hero image, she can’t help but poke fun at her former stepdaughter. It brings joy to her day. 

 

Snow sniffs. “It’s the rat’s fault. This would have been a delicious dinner.” 

 

Regina slides her finger into the cooling custard that had survived the battle the pirate and David had waged on the kitchen. Popping a finger into her mouth, she catches Emma’s eye, who is staring at her from across the room. Emma might be trying to deny their kiss upstairs, but Regina’s not going to let her off so easily. Internally grinning, she slides the finger out of her mouth, licking it thoroughly, and grinning at Emma, who promptly turns an even darker shade of red and turns back to the conversation with her pirate. “A little eggy, dear.” 

 

“What?!” Snow gasps, looking heartbroken. “Wait a second- you gave me the recipe for the custard!” She growls, but there’s a hint of humour in her eyes, understanding Regina’s jabs. “I knew you were going Evil Queen again on me!” 

 

Regina laughs. Sometimes she has to check herself, make sure it’s okay that she’s teasing Snow so much. She often has to make sure that they aren’t verging on the edge of a dangerous subject, ( _ Leopold, the eight years in which Regina was basically Snow’s mother, the wardrobe- Daniel)  _ that quickly spoils the mood. But she’s grown close to Snow, something she doesn’t like to admit. It’s as if they have the relationship that was always meant to be, and Regina is pleased. Doesn’t want to ruin it, either. So she sticks to the taunts and the fond barbs, as does Snow, and doesn’t talk about the past. 

 

“Alright Snow, enough with the melodramatics.” She waves her hands, and the crockery is fixed, alas without any of the food. Which may or may not be on purpose. “I suggest we call up Granny’s. I hear they have a delivery service now.” 

 

Snow grumbles. “Fine. But I swear, next week, I will host this dinner once again, and it will be perfe-” 

 

Regina interrupts. “Save it, dear. Next week I’m cooking my lasagne.” Her trump card. No one, not even the ever loyal David can resist Regina’s lasagne. 

 

Snow’s disgruntled face manages to cheer her up a bit, but then a glance across the room to see Emma nestled against the scruffy hooked dirtbag just brings her mood plummeting down. 

 

What was happening to her? Regina agonises over the fact that she hasn’t felt this way for a long time. Not even when Robin had gone back to Marian- or Zelena, had Regina felt the hot shovels of rage she was feeling every time the pirate made a mildly affectionate gesture towards Emma. It had been this way, ever since they had gotten together- just not as-  _ potent. _ She’d had Robin to stave off the jealousy, as horrible as that sounded, but now, what she was feeling was edging dangerously close to what she had felt back in the days of the stables and a boy who made her heart flutter.

 

It’ll end soon, Regina assures herself, as the night wears on. Just a few kisses that had dredged up long forgotten feelings- and it’s not like there would be more, would there?


	5. In which seduction skills are tested

The thing is, the mistletoe keeps popping up  _ everywhere.  _

 

Regina’s caught in it after bumping into Ruby one Tuesday, just outside the city hall. That had been an awkward encounter, to say in the least, with Ruby’s grinning face not helping Regina at all. And then- to make matters worse, she walks into the Sheriff's station one day, to see the last tendrils of the green plant snake away, leaving a very passionate Emma and Killian, who don’t even notice as Regina promptly turns a shade paler, and nearly trips in her haste to get away from the two, jealousy bubbling in her stomach. She hadn’t gone back to the Sheriff’s station after that- attempting to avoid any contact with Emma. 

 

To Regina’s mortification, she’s talking to  _ Charming  _ one day, both walking to Granny’s for their Tuesday lunch that they decided to meet up with (Why, Regina doesn’t know why, but for some reason she and Charming have become-  _ friends)  _

 

“Oooo what’s this?” David says, delighted, of course, because naturally the dolt would find some kind of joy in the green vines that are wrapping themselves around the pair, drawing them uncomfortably close together- much closer than Regina ever wanted to be to  _ Emma’s father.  _

 

Regina fidgets uncomfortably from where she’s cocooned against David. Just outside, she can hear Ruby roaring with laughter and decides to fireball the werewolf's ass when she’s out of here. 

 

“David- this is mistletoe.” 

 

“Oh.” David says, until horror dawns on his face. “ _ Oh. No-”  _

 

Regina groans and shuts her eyes. “I thought your wife was putting mistletoe everywhere! Did she think Granny’s was a perfect destination as well?” 

 

“No!” David says, indignant. “ Snow has some normal mistletoe but that’s about it. Why would you think that?” 

 

Regina flushes. “There was some- at your- house. The other night.” 

  
David gives her a quizzical look. “But you were downstairs the entire- Oh.” 

 

“Yeah.” 

 

“Emma?” 

 

“Yeah.” 

 

David looks at her for a second. Then sighs, in a suffering manner, as though he is about to grant Regina one heck of a favour. “Because we are about to embark on an unwanted kiss ourselves, I won’t tell Killian. He’s very protective.” 

 

“Yes, I’ve noticed.” Regina grumbles, thinking back to the migraine inducing talk she’d held with the pirate after the diner incident. 

 

“So just a kiss on the cheek then?” David says happily, leaning forward. Regina immediately leans backward. 

  
“No, David.” 

 

“Oh. A peck on the forehead.” David’s voice grows slightly panicked at Regina’s weary shake of the head. 

 

“No.” 

 

“Oh.”

 

“Yup.” 

 

“Magic?” 

 

“Nope.” 

 

David presses his lips together tightly, and shifts uncomfortably against Regina. “Pucker up then, your majesty.” 

 

Before Regina can react, David’s lips are smushing uncomfortably against hers. They press there, for a moment, and Regina squeezes her eyes shut, reminded of a time when she’d embarrassingly enough tried to  _ seduce  _ the former shepherd. 

 

Thank god that hadn’t worked out. 

 

When Regina opens her eyes, she finds herself staring into David’s blue ones, which are wide with panic. “MMmph!” Regina says, against the uncomfortable pressing of David's lips. She steps backwards. “You can stop!” Wiping her lips, she glances around the diner- and  _ oh hell.  _

 

“Why were you kissing my David?” Snow shrieks for her corner in the booth, and Regina feels another migraine coming on. 

 

*************

It takes ages, to convince Snow that nothing is going on between her and David. Absolutely nothing. Henry is sitting beside Snow, and is gazing at her with a look that spells mischief- but Regina has other pressing matters. 

 

“Snow, I swear I am not trying to steal your husband.” Regina says wearily, and David looks at Snow nervously, who is eyeing him murderously. “That was magic mistletoe. Trust me, if I could have gotten out of kissing your dirty shephard over there, I would have fireballed this entire diner if I’d had to.” She wipes her lips with her sleeve again. “God David, use some chapstick, won’t you?”  

 

David looks affronted. “Hey! I object! I’m quite a good kisser, if you’ll remember.” 

  
Regina groans, as Snow goes a color whiter than Regina thought was possible, even for a person called  _ Snow.  _ “You’ll remember?!” 

 

And that’s how Regina gets wrangled into explaining,  _ while Henry is sitting there,  _ how her days as havoc-inducing Mayor Mills included an attempted seduction of one David Nolan. 

 

And then it gets worse. 

 

“What’s going on?” Emma says, plopping down right beside Regina.  _ This woman has no personal boundaries.  _ Regina thinks grumpily, as she is squeezed up against the wall, in order to make space for another person. 

 

“Regina was just talking about that time she tried to  _ seduce my husband.”  _ Snow says primly, while clutching David’s hand with the ferocity of a clamp. “And how she failed.” A nasty smile graces the former princess's face. “So your skills at seduction aren’t quite so legendary after all.” 

  
Regina eyes Emma uncomfortably. “You tried to seduce my  _ dad?”  _ Emma says, mortification displayed across her face, and Henry winces. 

  
“Yes, please, repeat that again in front of your son, about my mom trying to seduce my other mom’s father. Please,  _ repeat it again.”  _ Henry groans. 

 

“Henry, dear, go sit at the counter with Ruby. She’s laughing far too hard for my liking.” Regina orders, and as soon as Henry is out of the way, Regina gets down to business. 

 

“Emma. First of all, at that time, I had no idea he was your father, too be fair. Second of all, Snow, I was evil, and there were far worse things I could have done.” 

 

“Like framing me for murder?” Snow grumbles. 

 

“Well- yes that.” Then Regina pauses. “Oh wait I did that.” 

 

David sighs. “The  _ point is  _ Snow, I didn’t betray you. Not even Regina could get in the way of true love.” He coughs uncomfortably. “I mean- I did kiss her for like a second, but that was because I didn’t have my memories….” 

 

Snow gazes up at him, convinced. “True love trumps all.” Then she whips around and glares at Regina smugly. “Even the supposed legendary seduction skills of the Evil Queen.” 

 

Regina soffs. “I could have seduced David if I wanted to. My heart just wasn’t in it.” 

  
David inspects his nails. “I don’t know, Regina, you seemed pretty mad when you smashed your mirror after I left. After all, I am quite the catch.” He says, smugly fluttering his eyelashes at Regina. 

  
Regina blushes. “You- you saw that?” 

 

“Why do you think I didn’t try to talk to you after that? Evil Queen or not, you had anger issues.” 

 

Regina waves her hand. “Okay, whatever. I can seduce David. Hell, I could probably seduce you Snow.” Then she pauses. “Now  _ that _ would be evil.” 

 

Emma begins to look uncomfortable. “Can we stop talking about seducing my parents,  _ please?”  _

 

Regina looks at Emma, and then decides to have some fun. “Oh, I could  _ so  _ seduce you.” 

  
Snow shakes her head, a complacent  smirk still present on her face. “You so could not. True loves can’t be seduced. Just because you were the Evil Queen doesn’t mean you can get Emma away from Hook, isn’t that right sweetie?”

 

Emma looks as though she’s been caught sneaking a cookie out of the biscuit tin. “Err- right. I am in-seducible.” 

 

“Unseducable, dear.” Regina corrects, absentmindedly. Then she licks her lips. “Oh, is that so,  _ Em-ma?”  _

  
Emma gulps. “Yes?” She says, her voice cracking slightly, as Regina eyes her.  

 

Regina leans in close, a mean smile curling at her lips. “Are you really, really sure about that,  _ Ms Swan?”  _ Her voice is deep and throaty, and Emma’s face slowly turns red, as her eyes dart from Regina’s lips, two her parents, who, oddly enough, don’t look surprised. 

 

“100 percent.” Emma squeaks, unable to move. They both stare at each other, neither backing down. 

 

David coughs, and Regina is startled out of her staring contest with Emma. “You see?” Regina says, smugly. “I can seduce anyone.” 

 

“That, I remember you were quite good at.” Another voice joins the table, and it’s Mal, in all her glory, smiling with so many teeth that it actually looks like a snarl. 

 

“Oh Mal!” Regina says, and suddenly she’s the one that’s uncomfortable. “Um- how much of that did you hear?” 

 

Mal sits down next to David, who eyes her nervously. Mal continues. “Only your affirmation of your legendary seduction skills.” 

 

Emma groans, and bangs her head against the table. “For fucks sake, why is Regina’s so called seduction skills legendary?” 

 

The other fairytale characters stare at her like she’s grown an extra head.“Honey-munchkins, she was the  _ Evil Queen.”  _ Snow says with conviction. 

 

Emma makes a face. “Please never call me honey-munchkins again. And also, so what?”  

 

Mal laughs, disbelievingly. “My dear girl, the Evil Queen was known for being- well-  _ desirable. _ ” 

 

“So- like Graham, then.” Emma says, condescendingly. “Yeah,  _ I know  _ about Graham, you guys.” 

  
Regina sighs, as Mal looks at her incredulously. “I thought you two were ‘best friends’? Aren’t you supposed to know about all your previous romantic exploits?” Mal smooths her skirt down. 

 

Emma looks confused. “I’m- lost.” 

 

Regina looks away, red in the face, and Mal cackles. “So, it’s up to me then? Alright, Swan, let me lay it out for you, quite plainly. The Evil Queen...had many, many lovers. That’s putting it simply, of course.” She grins, smugly. “I was one, naturally, back in the good old days.” 

 

“Just one, dear. You weren’t the best, however, so don’t get too smug.” Regina pats Mal’s arm, consolingly. 

 

Mal scowls. “I was too! I’ll have you know that-” She stops abruptly, seeing that Emma is wincing. 

 

“Agh, Mal, you had to go and scar Emma, didn’t you.” 

 

Emma’s mouth hangs wide open, and then she turns to face Regina. “Oh- my god. You mean-” 

 

Regina fidgets, and doesn’t look Emma in the eye. “Well….yes. I was lonely!” She whines, suddenly. “I mean, I was Queen, and I could do what I wanted!” 

 

Charming sighs, slightly wistfully. “Yes- that’s quite true. Everyone either wanted to kill you or kiss you. There was no in between.” Snow looks at him, and Charming suddenly looks horrified. “Not that- I was- I wasn’t...I wanted to kill you  _ of course. _ ” 

 

“So like- wait. You and-  _ her?”  _ Emma motions between Regina and Maleficent, who raises an eyebrow. 

 

“Yes.” Regina says, shortly. “Mal was my friend, and on occasion- we- er- slept…..together. Romantically-ish….but really we were just friends. ” 

 

Mal looks at her, an amused expression crossing her face. “On occasion? _ Just friends?  _ ” 

 

“Fine. Most of the time.” 

 

“I recall the only time we didn’t sleep together during a meeting of ours was when you nearly killed me to get that dark curse.” 

 

“So...you like women then?” Emma says slowly. 

 

Regina looks at her, disbelieving. “Yes Emma,  _ I like women.”  _

 

“I had no idea.” 

 

“ _ Oh really?”  _

 

Mal licks her lips. “I can assure you, Swan, that Regina likes women.” She traces a finger down Regina’s arm, who blushes, but doesn’t move away. “In fact….” 

 

“Mal- what are you-” Regina’s breath hitches as Mal places a finger on the former Queen’s bottom lip, a predatory look on her face. 

 

“I miss our arrangement, don’t you?” Mal purrs. “How about we...meet up sometime, for drinks?” 

 

Regina looks dumbfounded, her normally regal attitude slipping away. Snow throws out her hands. “OKAY! That was far too much information I ever needed to know about Regina’s sex life. How about we stop it right there before this gets R rated?” 

 

Mal scoffs. “Oh be quiet Snow White. If Regina wants it to get R rated, I am more than happy to accommodate.” 

 

Emma starts. “Hey! Now just wait a moment- Regina- you- you can’t possibly want to….to do whatever with a  _ dragon?”  _

 

Mal winks. “Regina likes my dragon side just fine.” 

 

“OH god ew- you mean-  _ with  _ a dragon?” 

  
“No not like that!” Regina flushes. “Jesus Emma, mind in the gutter much?” 

  
Snow shakes her head. “I think I may be scarred.” 

 

Regina waves a hand. “Please Snow, I made sure long ago that you were scarred plenty. There’s nothing here that will burn those precious ears even further.” 

 

“Look, Regina.” Emma begins. “This lady- is...is evil, okay? And totally not good enough for you.” 

 

Mal raises an eyebrow. “Hey, I take objection. And you were the one who shoved a sword in my gut. So I think you should let me off the hook for once.” 

 

Regina just looks annoyed. “Emma, it’s really not any of your business who I decide to meet up with, to be honest.” 

 

Emma looks immensely frustrated. “Yes it is!” She says, gritting her teeth. 

 

“And why would that be?” Regina says, arching an eyebrow. 

 

“Because we- because you and I-” Emma splutters, before landing on an excuse that would work around her parents. “Because I’m your son’s other mother!” 

 

Mal’s mouth falls open. “Oh wow. And she’s engaged to the pirate?” She asks Regina, who nods. “That’s  _ really  _ rich.” 

 

Emma glares at her. “You are so not making it easy for me not to shove another sword in your gut. And he’s changed.” 

 

Mal snorts. “Yeah. Right.”

 

Emma looks uneasy for about a second, Regina slams a palm down on the table. “Alright, enough! Mal, maybe I will meet with you for  _ drinks.”  _ She glares at Emma. 

  
“Wonderful.” Mal purrs. “And then perhaps….” She trails her hand under the table, and Regina’s eyes go wide. 

 

“Oh please, just stop it, for the love of god!” Snow bursts out. “This is just- please-” 

 

Emma looks ready to burst a vessel. “I am agreeing with my mother here. My  _ mother  _ and I are  _ agreeing. _ ” 

 

“Make me.” Mal says, her tone deepening. Regina begins to look increasingly uncomfortable. 

 

“Charming, help me out here. There are children nearby!” Snow hisses, and looks at her husband. “Charming?” 

 

David snaps out of his reverie. “Uh- yeah. Please, don’t….” He coughs, and turns red. “N-n-nobody wants to see….that.” 

 

Regina looks at him, exasperated. “You never were a good actor, now were you Charming?” 

 

There’s a silence. A very awkward silence. 

 

Emma shifts, and then gets up. “I- uh- gotta go.” She bolts out, but Regina, looking worried, follows her. 

 

The doorbell tinkles, and as the occupants of the booth crane their heads, their final image before the door closes are thick green vines twirling their way around the two women, and a loud, 

 

_ “Ah fuck me!”  _

 

“Gladly, dear.” 

 

**************

Charming turns to Snow, who is looking at the door with an odd look of pride. “The way those two argue you’d think they were married.” 

 

A chuckle escapes Snow’s mouth. “Well, that’s what I’m aiming for.” 

 

Charming looks at her, confusion crossing his face. “I- uh….what?” 

 

A swirl of green smoke encases Snow, and when it clears, Zelena is sitting in her place. “Hello, husband dearest.” She says with a smirk. “Miss me?” 

 

“AAAAA-AH!” Charming yells, and jumps up from the table, shaking a finger at the witch. “What the hell, Zelena? Where’s my wife?” 

  
“Tied up in the backroom.” Charming starts towards her, a murderous look on his face. “Relax, you dolt, she’s back at home with both Robyn and Neal. They’re having a playdate.” 

 

Charming halts. “Wait- so it was you the entire time?” 

 

Zelena waves her hand. “Yes, but that’s beside the point. My plan worked.” She rubs her hands together, deviously. “This is going  _ so  _ well.” 

 

Maleficent chuckles, amused. “I played my part well then?” She asks. 

 

Zelena pouts. “You went really off script. I guess it worked out for the best, but what if Regina really had decided to meet up with you for  _ drinks _ ?”

 

Mal shrugs. “Well then I would have been more than happy too. I wouldn’t mind, well you know, with her again.” She says, with a waggle of her eyebrows. 

  
Zelena makes a disgusted face. “It was bad enough trying to be a disgusted Snow White, but really, that was my sister you were talking about.” 

 

Mal laughs. “I know. Anyway, good luck. And if this doesn’t work out, tell Regina to give me a call!” 

 

David still looks confused. “How did I not know that it wasn’t Snow?” 

  
Zelena rolls her eyes. “My dear, I impersonated Marian for months, and Robin was none the wiser. Why did you think it was any different with you?” 

 

She gets up from the table, and saunters over to where Henry is sitting, leaving Charming looking very bewildered. 

 

***************

 

“Ah fuck me!” 

 

“Gladly, dear.” Regina says with a smirk, as the green vines wrap their way around the pair. 

 

“Wait-” 

 

“What.” Both say simultaneously. 

  
“No...not like that….” Regina curses her quick retort. “I didn’t mean it like that-” 

 

Emma shifts, sensing awkwardness, and swiftly changes the subject . “Fucking mistletoe. What the hell is it doing in Granny’s?” 

 

Regina sighs. “I got caught in it with David, earlier on. That was an experience that I never want to repeat.” 

 

“Wait so you just kissed my dad?” 

 

Regina shrugs. “Well more like an uncomfortable pressing of lips, but yes.” 

  
“Well then we are going to be stuck here for a very long time.” Emma crosses her arms, and attempts to move away from Regina, only to jolt uncomfortably as the vines squeeze with warning. 

 

“What?” 

 

“You just kissed my dad! Like hell I’m going to kiss you!” Emma says, averting her eyes. 

 

“Are you sure it has nothing to do with our tendency to get  _ carried away?”  _ Regina snaps. 

 

“That was a mistake. And will not be repeated. When I finally can get the horrible image of you and my dad, I will kiss you, and we will get out of this fucking green shit and find out who has been doing this.”    
  
Regina sniffs. “Fine.” 

 

“Good.” 

 

“Yes.” 

 

“And I won’t get  _ carried away.”  _ Emma says, with a pointed manner. “I- It was a mistake. I was- we were- drunk the first time, and...yeah.” 

 

“Fine.” 

 

“Fine.” 

 

They both stand there, pressed uncomfortably close together. Emma feels a blush rising, as she suddenly becomes aware of how close Regina is to her, and how her body is touching hers. They are literally chest to chest, and Emma can feel Regina’s breath against the crook of her neck. 

 

“Would you stop moving? It’s slightly awkward.” Regina says, after a long pause, once Emma begins to struggle once again in an attempt to move away from Regina. 

 

“Sorry.” Emma grumbles. 

 

“So you ready to kiss me?” 

 

“Nope.” Emma says, gritting her teeth. Then suddenly she bursts out- “Why did you have to flirt with Maleficent, just- right in front of me?” 

 

Regina raises her eyebrows, surprise evident on her face. “Why do you care?” 

 

Emma scowls. “I don’t.” 

 

“I like Mal. There may have been a time- when we could have been more than just friends with benefits, or whatever you call it here. And, well, I’m not going to be a spinster forever, dear.” Regina shrugs. 

 

“What about Robin?” Emma can’t help but ask, and immediately regrets it when Regina’s face falls.    
  
“He’s dead, Emma.” She says, softly. “I miss him, but I don’t want to be alone anymore.” 

 

Emma sighs. “I’m...I’m sorry for the way I acted.” 

 

“That’s fine.” Regina says, though she looks disappointed. “I can understand you’re anxious about the people in Henry’s life.” 

 

Emma hesitates. “Is that why- you don’t like Hook?” 

 

Regina bites her lip. “I don’t want to say anything that will cause strife, Emma. Just allow me to...not be so fond of him.” 

 

“Okay.” 

 

Regina leans back against the cocoon. “So, you ready to kiss me yet?” 

  
Emma turns red. “No.” 

 

There is another long pause, and Regina closes her eyes slightly in exasperation. Emma fidgets, nervously. 

 

_ I love Hook. I am not attracted to Regina, or her cleavage which is staring at me. Or I’m staring at it. AVERT EYES AVERT EYES!  _

 

Another few minutes go by, before Emma realises her eyes are once again fixated-

 

“Emma….why are you staring at my boobs?” Regina finally asks, and a hint of teasing enters her tone. 

 

“You- have….a bit of- it’s kinda hard not to okay Regina?” Emma says, grumpy that Regina noticed. 

 

Regina smirks, and lowers her face closer to Emma. “So are you ready to kiss me yet?” 

 

Emma squeezes her eyes shut. “N-no.” She opens them again, only to have her eyes drawn immediately to Regina’s lips, which curl up in a smirk. 

 

“Are you sure?” 

 

“Yes.”  _ I love Hook. I love him. I- Oh to hell with it.  _

 

Emma surges towards Regina, smashing her face against hers, their foreheads knocking together painfully. Regina, not surprised, kisses back with the same intensity, and for a moment it’s just them, as the vines recede, and both of them part when the last tendril is gone, not wanting to be spotted. 

 

However, just for a moment, as they stop the kiss, and attempt to disentangle from each other, they are in unison, eyes connected, lips a breath away from touching. And in that moment, words form on Emma’s lips, words that were dangerous and only supposed to be said to her fiance. So she shoves herself back, trying to bury the horrible emotions that are rising up, emotions she thought she had dealt with. 

 

Regina is breathing heavily, and staring at Emma, something in her eyes. 

 

“I-” Emma begins, regret already forming on her face. 

 

“Let me guess. Another mistake?” Regina says, a sneer tugging at her lips. When Emma doesn’t reply, and just looks down, Regina whirls her hands with an aggravated sigh, and disappears in a cloud of purple smoke. 

 

“A mistake.” Emma repeats, softly to herself, biting her lip. “That’s all it was.” 


	6. In which Zelena provides a valid point

Throughout the week, much to Regina’s relief, she successfully manages to avoid Emma. After their third ( _ third! _ ) kiss at the diner, Regina’s emotions had been all over the place. One moment, she and Emma had been comfortably platonic friends- 

 

Okay, so that was a lie. They’d never been platonic, not from the day that Emma had shown up on Regina’s doorstep, with a dorky smile on her lips, and apart from Regina’s relief at seeing her son back, all she could think about was how damn attractive the blonde had been. And it was no secret that Emma had felt the same way, not from the impressed once over the woman had given her as soon as Regina had met Emma’s eyes. 

 

Of course, with the added tension and heat that their arguments had constantly evoked, a  _ platonic  _ friendship would always be impossible. And now- well Regina wasn’t sure if what they had was a friendship anymore. 

 

Emma could always claim necessity. What they were doing, according to Emma, wasn’t cheating, or anything borne out of feelings.  _ It was necessity.  _ And it was so  _ painful  _ for Regina, because she couldn’t,  _ didn’t,  _ feel the same way. How could she? She hadn’t felt this way for a long time, not since Robin- not since  _ Daniel.  _

 

Regina’s mind was still whirling from everything that had suddenly changed. Her feelings for Emma were spinning out of control, and she couldn’t tell anyone. 

 

“So, sis, what’s up with you and the Saviour? I swear, it’s as though you two have had some sort of lover's spat. ” Zelena asks one evening, as they have a family dinner. Henry is at the Charming’s, so it’s only a gurgle from Robyn that accompanies Zelena’s completely  _ wild  _ statement. 

 

Regina answers by spewing out her apple cider, some of which hits her amused sister, and splatters all over the broccoli. “Wha-what?” 

 

Zelena waves her hand and the broccoli disappears, and the cider stains evaporate. “You and Emma have been avoiding each other all week. Henry told me, and you do your best to ignore each other when you’re in the same room.” She says, nonchalantly, as though Regina’s violent reaction meant absolutely nothing. 

 

“Oh. Right, that, yes, well Ms. Swan and I- we got into an- argument.” Regina’s voice cracks, and she takes another large gulp of her drink. Was everyone as perceptive as Zelena? Regina muses. Probably, because she and Emma had never been subtle about their disagreements. 

 

“Regina, you really need to stop saying Ms. Swan, because it’s beginning to sound like some sort of kinky sex thing you two have going on. She  _ is  _ engaged, you know.” 

 

At Zelena’s comment, Regina chokes on her cider, and in an attempt to avoid the last incident, rushes into the kitchen, gasping for air. In the meantime, Zelena gives a smug high five to the baby who oddly enough looks like she’s grinning. 

 

Later on, Regina is still recovering from Zelena’s comment, when there is a knock on the door. Zelena had left around fifteen minutes ago, with Robyn, but spotting a baby blanket nestled in the crook of her sofa, Regina realises who must be at the door. Grabbing the blanket, she walks over and opens the door. 

 

“Zelena-” Regina stops when she realises it isn’t her red haired sister on the porch. “Oh. Ms- Emma.” 

 

Emma gives a slightly awkward wave. “Um- hey, Regina.” She scuffs her feet on the porch, and Regina is reminded of Henry, who seems to have inherited that particular trait. “Can I...can I come inside?” Emma asks, and Regina sighs internally. Placing the baby blanket on a nearby table, she motions a hand for Emma to come inside. 

 

“Of course, Emma.” Regina smiles, but even she realises that it looks strained, because Emma shoots her a sheepish look as she slouches into the foyer. 

 

Emma clears her throat once Regina has closed the door. “You’ve been avoiding me.” She accuses, outright.  _ Always straight to the point,  _ Regina thinks wryly. 

 

“Well, so have you.” Regina answers, refusing to shoulder all the blame. 

 

“Ever since-” Emma’s voice is nervous. “Ever since we-” She clears her throat again. 

 

“Kissed.” Regina states, flatly. “We kissed, Emma. Several times.” 

 

“Yes-” 

 

“And you  _ know  _ it isn’t just a  _ mistake  _ as you so love to put it.” 

 

“But-” 

 

“However someone keeps on putting up mistletoe everywhere, so naturally I want to avoid you!” 

 

“Regina just let me-” 

 

“I think you should leave.” Regina sighs, tired. She doesn’t want to deal with Emma, and her pleading eyes. “Just- leave.” 

 

Emma hunches over, hurt evident in her eyes. “No. Not until we talk.” 

 

Regina snarls, anger flaring. “Well, has it ever occurred to you that I  _ don’t  _ want to talk? That since you are marrying the pirate, I just want to leave this all behind, same as you?” It’s a lie, but it’s all Regina’s got. She can’t tell Emma the truth, not now. Not ever. 

 

“You’re my best friend, Regina.” Emma begins, a heartbroken look on her face. “And I want to-” 

 

“Want to what?” Regina snaps. “Emma, you are getting married in a week. One week. And meanwhile, you’re going around, kissing me-” Emma makes a noise of protest and Regina laughs, darkly. “Oh, don’t try and say that it was the mistletoe. We both know it wasn’t.” Emma is quiet, and Regina continues. “We aren’t- we aren’t  _ best friends,  _ Emma, not anymore. So leave me be. I’ll be there, at your wedding, to the pirate, but- just let me- get over….whatever this is.” It’s the closest to a confession that Regina gives, and Emma’s widening of eyes shows her understanding. 

 

“Regina-” Emma begins, and then stops. “I’m sorry.” She whispers. “But I want to talk about this.” 

 

“We just did.” Regina says, with an acerbic tone. “There’s nothing more to talk about, Emma.” 

 

“Just...please.” Emma looks at her pleadingly, but Regina stays silent, unable to talk about whatever Emma wants to try and clear up. 

 

The two are at a standoff, with Emma standing her ground. Regina huffs. “Since this is obviously a waste of my time, I’m going to bed.” She starts up the stairs, not looking back. 

 

“What- no!” There’s panic in Emma’s voice, and Regina smirks, because Emma probably didn’t count on Regina just ignoring her. “We have to talk, Regina!” 

 

“Not if I don’t want to!” Regina calls, already up half the stairs. “You can leave at anytime, Emma.” 

 

Emma sulks for a quick moment, before suddenly lighting up. “Well, I’m just going to follow you everywhere, then. Until you talk to me.” She starts up the stairs, following Regina, who sighs, annoyed. 

 

“We aren’t going to talk about it, Emma.” Regina just mutters, as she makes her way to the bedroom. Just as she is about to enter, however, Emma slides between her and the door, wedging herself there, so that Regina can’t enter. 

 

“I told you, I’m not leaving until we talk.” 

 

Regina just groans. “Emma. I’m tired, and I want to sleep.” Emma just crosses her arms, and raises her eyebrows. Regina growls. “Okay, you want to do this the hard way?” 

 

She pushes Emma backwards, so that she topples against the door. Then, smirking, Regina grabs the doorknob and opens the door in a swift motion, Emma falling backwards. What Regina doesn’t count on, however, is Emam grabbing her shirt as she falls, and Regina’s precarious stilettoes giving way and falling with Emma. 

 

Emma hits the floor with a grunt, and Regina falls right on top of her, surprise written across her face. “Bet you didn’t see that one coming.” Emma says smugly, and Regina is acutely aware of Emma’s arms wrapped around her preventing her from moving. 

 

Emma’s smug face, however, fades when the two realise how close their faces are, and with bated breath, they both watch each other. Neither moves, to either get up, or move closer, and so they stay like that. 

 

“What are you doing?” Regina’s voice comes out in a whisper. She can feel Emma pressing against her. Emma doesn’t look uncomfortable, despite the fact that Regina is lying on top of her, and so Regina shifts slightly, to straddle Emma instead. 

 

“I don’t know.” Emma says. “I really want to kiss you right now.” 

 

Regina has to laugh, because only Emma would be so blunt. “Well, go right ahead.” 

 

So Emma does. She leans up, so both of them shift onto the floor, sitting there. Emma reaches a hand up, and brings Regina towards her, in a slow, careful movement. It’s tentative, because this kiss isn’t in a circumstance where there’s anyone around them, where either of them are ‘forced’ to do so. And Regina gives in, to this slow, sweet kiss, which feels like there’s supposed to be so much meaning behind it, and yet, there isn’t. 

 

Emma finally breaks the kiss, and leans her forehead against Regina’s. “I’m not going to say that was a mistake.” She whispers. “But we can’t do that again.” 

 

Regina closes her eyes, and fumbles to hold Emma’s hand. Squeezing her hand, she ignores the burning behind her eyes. “I think I’m in love with you.” 

 

Emma doesn’t say anything, and Regina doesn’t feel her move, at all. So she blunders on, knowing she has to say this. “Please,  _ stay. _ ” 

 

There. She’s said it. She hears the slight gasp, coming from Emma, and feels Emma’s hand leave hers. It’s horrible, and heartbreaking, but what else can Regina do? She needs Emma to understand that she can’t keep on running to Regina, because if she does, she will break them both, and Regina can’t survive another heartbreak, she  _ can’t.  _

 

“I should go.” Emma’s voice is small. “I won’t come back.” 

 

Regina nods, and opens her eyes. “That’s okay.” 

 

Emma bites her lip. “I just wish….I wish you’d fought for me.” She shakes her head. “I wanted you to fight for me. I thought you would. But it’s too late now, you know that, don’t you?” 

 

“Would you have chosen me?” 

  
Emma looks incredibly insecure, and she pauses. “Yes.” 

 

Regina feels a stab in her heart, and Emma disappears with a whirl of silvery smoke, leaving Regina slumped on the floor, finally allowing the grief that’s been there from the moment Emma flashed the diamond ring, to erupt, sobs shaking her shoulders. 

 

She’s lost Emma. But then again, did she ever have her in the first place?


	7. In which awkward encounters seem to be everyone's motto

Emma barely manages to stumble up into her bedroom, when she arrives in a puff of silvery smoke, from Regina’s. Her heart is in her throat, choking her,  _ begging  _ her, to go back to Regina’s, and tell her everything that had been going through Emma’s head in the past few weeks. 

 

It mainly revolved around the lines of,  _ Shit I think I’m in love with Regina.  _

 

She sits on her bed with a huff, and if it weren’t for the sleeping pirate next to her, she’d burst into tears. It had been so hard telling Regina that,  _ so freaking hard,  _ but it was true. Regina had never fought for her, never hinted at the fact that she might also have feelings for Emma. 

 

God, this was all so fucked up. 

 

“Emma?” It’s Hook. “You going to bed?”

 

Emma frowns, slightly. She needs to talk to him, needs him to understand what she’s feeling. Of course, telling him about Regina is out of the question, but she needs to see if she’s the only one who's feeling the disconnect in their relationship. 

 

“Killian?” She begins, taking a hesitant breath.

 

“Yeah?” He snuffles slightly into his pillow. 

 

“Are you sure about- about getting married?” 

 

This gets Hook’s attention like a gunshot. He sits up, and faces her, immediately alert. “What? Emma, are you-” 

 

Emma fidgets, slightly. “I’m just worried that we’re taking it too fast. That maybe, we aren’t ready.” 

 

Hook shakes his head, and lets out a slow breath. “Emma, you were the one who found the wedding ring and practically  _ proposed  _ to me.” 

 

Ah yes. That. The elation of being wanted, and then the nerves that perhaps Killian didn’t actually mean it. It had been a mistake- Emma now saw that, because instead of really thinking about what a marriage to Killian meant, she’d panicked and confronted him about it instead. 

 

“Well….yeah. But what if we aren’t ready?” Emma says, pushing the issues. “I mean, I have a son, and the Black Fairy is still lurking about somewhere, and there are so many issues-” 

 

Killian eyes her, and then takes her hand. “Emma, I love you.” He says, earnestly. “That’s enough. I know you, and you want this. You’re just afraid of love, of finally having happiness.” 

 

_ Well,  _ Emma thinks,  _ he really isn’t getting what I’m trying to say here.  _ “Well, Killian, I mean apart from the whole evil villains constantly trying to kill me, I’d say I’m actually pretty happy. I mean, I have Henry, and my parents, and Regina-” 

 

“Regina?” Hook scoffs. “Please, love, you don’t have to pretend around me that  _ she _ is part of your happiness.” 

 

Emma frowns. “Er- Regina’s probably my closest friend.” 

 

“Oh.” Killian looks taken aback. Then shakes his head and continues. “Emma, it took me a long time to break down those walls.” 

 

_ Really, really not getting it, Killian.  _

 

“But now we both know each other. We both love each other. What better way to further discover that love than in marriage?” 

 

_ What if I don’t actually love you? What if this whole thing has just been another relationship that I’ve run into, because I’m afraid of being alone? _

 

“Emma, please, love, don’t do anything rash. Cold feet are normal, before a wedding.” 

 

“Killian- what if-” 

 

“Enough with the what if’s.” Hook says, firmly, and Emma’s eyes widen slightly as he squeezes her wrist tightly. “We are getting married. There is  _ no one  _ else who will ever love you the way I do. Accept that, and accept this.” 

 

Emma’s mind flashes back to her parent’s faces, so full of pride. She would have love. Killian would love her. 

 

“O-okay.” Emma says, weakly, and Killian beams at her. 

 

“See? Nothing to be worried about.” 

 

_ Regina can’t possibly love me.  _ Emma thinks, morosely.  _ Not this me.  _

 

_ I just give in, these days.  _

 

*********

 

“Okay, Regina, what is going on with you?” Zelena bursts into Regina room, in a flash of green smoke. Her sister has been moping ever since their dinner together a day ago, and Zelena needs to get her sister motivated. She knows that Regina is in an Emma induced slump, and she plans to give her sister a stern lecture on love, the meaning of  _ married,  _ and the no good pirate Emma is about to tie herself to for a good amount of time. 

 

She expects that Regina will argue, that she’ll cry, and ultimately, she’ll thank Zelena for being the best sister she could ever have, proclaim her everlasting loyalty to her, and admit that Zelena has always been the superior Mills. Well, that’s how it went in Zelena’s mind when she replayed her thoughts on her lecture anyway. 

 

What she doesn’t expect, is a thoroughly depressed Regina, who is in bed, tissues surrounding her in a cocoon of depression. Zelena gapes for a second, and then moves into action. Pulling back the curtains, she hears a cry of protest as the bright sunlight bursts through the room, revealing a red nosed Regina with serious bed head. 

 

“Oh my god.” Zelena says. “You look terrible.” 

 

Regina raises an eyebrow, but her regal demeanor falls flat when wrapped in pajamas that are covered in little icons of lightsabers and Chewbacca. “I can always count on you to be blunt, can’t I.” 

 

“Are those- what are those furry animals on your clothing?” 

 

Regina picks at her pajamas. “That’s Chewbacca.” She says, and snuggles into her duvet. “These are my favorite pajamas, I’ll have you know.” 

 

Zelena snorts. “Oh my god.” She says, for the second time. “The Evil Queen wears kiddie pajamas.” Stalking over to Regina’s walk in closet, she rips open the door, diving into the nearest drawer. To her delight, all of Regina’s pajamas, apart from three silky ones, which are obviously meant for things other than sleeping, can only be described as nerdy. “You’re such a dork, I swear.” 

 

Regina sniffs. “Am not.” 

 

“Are too. Now get your ass out of bed, Gina.” 

 

“ _ Don’t  _ call me Gina.” Regina growls. 

 

“There’s the Evil Queen I know and love. Put some fresh clothing on, and for heaven’s sake-” She sniffs the room. “Shower,  _ please,  _ because it smells like someone died in here.” 

 

Regina looks at her, mournfully. “My heart died, in here.” 

 

Zelena raises both eyebrows, and then bursts out laughing. “Seriously? Was that the best you could come up with?” 

 

Regina grumbles. “I’ll admit, that was a little melodramatic.” 

 

“I’m not a sympathetic person, Regina.” Zelena says, sternly. “I don’t care about heartbreak, or hurt feelings. All I care about is seeing you dressed and well again, okay?” 

 

Regina shifts further into her bed. “You can’t make me.” Her voice is sullen, and Zelena suddenly feels like the older sister she is. 

 

“Oh yes I can.” With a twirl of her wrist, Regina’s duvet disappears, leaving a very irate Evil Queen in Wookie pajamas, currently spread flat out on her mattress. “Now  _ get dressed, Regina.”  _

 

It must have been her voice, because Regina shoots straight off the bed. “Don’t ever use that tone of voice with me again.” She says, but she bolts into the bathroom. Smirking, Zelena makes her way downstairs, and puts on a pot of coffee. 

 

She pours herself a cup, and one for Regina as well, sitting down on the sofa with a sigh. “Luxury.” She sighs, stretching her feet up with a groan. “What I wouldn’t do for a sofa like this at the farmhouse.” She murmurs. 

 

“Don’t go green yet,” Regina’s voice sounds behind her, and Zelena cranes her neck. Then chuckles. 

 

“You couldn’t do what I say, now can you?” Zelena says, snorting. 

 

Regina is dressed, yes, in fresh clothing, and her hair is wet and curling at the edges, indicating a shower. The smell of fresh shampoo wafts past Zelena as Regina sits down. However, Regina is currently wearing a new set of pajamas, this time, a t-shirt with a the face of the Evil Queen from Disney on it, and a pair of pajama bottoms, covered in what seems to be miniature Yodas. 

 

“They don’t even match!” Zelena says, and has to let out a giggle. “Such a nerd.” 

 

Regina fixes her with a stern look. “If you ever mentions this to anyone, I  _ will  _ make you pay. But Henry got this t-shirt for me last year, as a present….and it’s comfy.” She says, a whine entering her tone. “And these pajama bottoms are so soft.” 

 

Zelena shakes her head. “You are allowed to wear pajamas in bed, Regina. I can even allow you to wear nerdy ones. But you’re wearing them at one o'clock in the afternoon. What’s going on?”

 

Regina takes the cup of coffee that Zelena left on the living room table, and plops down onto the sofa with a large sigh. “I can’t tell you.” She says, sipping at the steaming beverage. “Mmm this is good.” 

 

“I’m a great coffee maker, I’ll have you know. Back in my wicked days, I had to do loads of late night brainstorming, along with Rumple. Eh voila, the only way to get him to stop moaning and groaning about helping me was my delicious coffee.” 

 

Regina raises an eyebrow. “You got Rumplestiltskin to stop his constant death threats with  _ coffee?”  _

 

Zelena looks smug. “Mills family secret recipe, am I right?” 

 

Regina looks at her. “I have no idea what kind of coffee this is, Zelena.” 

 

“That’s right, because I’m the older sibling, and I know best. So  _ tell me what’s going on!”  _

 

Regina just glares at her older sister. “It’s private, Zelena.” 

 

“It’s about Emma, isn’t it?” 

 

Regina huffs. “How did you know?” She asks, unwilling to lie further. 

 

“Because Emma stopped around here last night.”

 

“Wait, what?” Regina looks at her, surprise evident in her eyes. “Were you  _ spying  _ on us?” 

 

“I was coming round for Robyn’s baby blanket, when I saw one leather clad blondie on your doorstep. I decided you probably needed to talk to her, more than I needed Robyn’s blanket.” Zelena wiggles her eyebrows. “So? What happened?” 

 

Regina just grumbles. “Nothing. We talked, and now everything’s fine again.” 

  
Zelena purses her lips. “And that’s why you were huddled in your cocoon of doom and gloom this morning?” Her eyes light up. “Hey that rhymes!”  

 

“Yes.” Regina says, tightly. “Absolutely. I love fighting with Emma. Makes my day. So naturally, resolving arguments with her is a depressing time for me.” She sniffs, over exaggeratedly. “Allow me some peace, I beg you!” 

 

Zelena sips thoughtfully on her coffee. “Yes, I suppose you do miss all that unresolved sexual tension that comes with your arguments. But I see you were the bigger person, and just….” She raises an eyebrow, fixing Regina with a smirk. “Kissed and made up.”  

 

Regina is about to take a sip of her coffee- but quickly slams it down on the table, whipping around, pointing a finger at Zelena. “You know something.” She hisses, and there’s a glint in her eye. “Let me guess,  _ sister dearest,  _ you’ve been planning this all along, haven’t you? The mistletoe- it was from you, not Snow. The kissing booth- oh god,  _ the diner incident _ ...it was all you!” 

 

“Oh oh wait! Flashback moment!” Zelena spreads out her hands in a manner which hints psychic abilities. “God, this reminds me so much of when I was trying to ruin your life. Only now, I’m trying to make it so much better, so  _ please  _ Regina, just make my job easier and go tell Emma you love her.” 

 

Regina sags slightly, all fire gone from her eyes. “I did.” 

 

“Seriously, Regina, the two of you are worse than-  _ wait what?”  _

 

“I did.” Regina spits, looking at her sister. “I told her I loved her.” 

 

Zelena looks sympathetic. “And- she didn’t reciprocate.” 

 

“Obviously not.” Regina snarls, and then deflates. “She told me, I should have fought for her.” 

 

Zelena frowns. “What?” 

 

“She said that she thought I would fight for her once she got engaged.” Regina tells her, miserably. “But now it’s too late, and she’s going to marry Hook, because  _ I  _ didn’t fight for her.” 

 

Zelena just stares. “That’s so unfair!” She bursts out, suddenly. “Nobody does that to my little sister, nuh uh!” Regina looks alarmed for a moment, and Zelena continues. “Ungrateful brat. Here am I, working my ass off trying to get  _ her  _ happy ending, and she has the gall to turn down you?” 

 

Regina puts a calming hand on Zelena’s forearm, and chuckles sadly. “Calm down, Zelena. It’s not her fault. She has a point.” 

 

“What?” 

 

“I mean- I guess I always knew we were a possibility.” Regina says with a sigh. “I’ve always loved her. I was just too stupid to acknowledge it, really. I just- I never knew she felt the same way.” Then she groans. “Not that she does. She loves the pirate, and I’m going to have to put up with him for the rest of my life now, thanks to my obtuseness.” 

 

“Is obtuseness even a word?” Zelena muses, but Regina ignores her.  

 

Regina just sighs. “Her wedding’s in a few days, Zelena. I don’t know what I’m going to do.” 

 

Zelena winks at her sister. “You’re going to fight for her, that’s what.” 

  
“She just told me I was too late!” Regina argues, brown eyes glistening. “I’ve lost her, that’s what she basically told me!” 

 

Zelena opens her mouth to argue, but then Regina’s phone rings. It’s an annoying tune from Star Wars, and Regina flushes as Zelena just smacks her forehead, exasperated. “I swear, you are the biggest dork.” 

 

“No I’m not. This is Henry’s ringtone.” Regina snaps. She accepts the call and answers. “Hello my dear-” Her eyes grow wide, and Zelena can make out some frantic squawking on the other side. “She did what?” Regina spits, and then mouths  _ It’s Snow  _ at Zelena. 

 

“I’m coming right away.” Regina ends the call. “The Black Fairy is holding Henry hostage at Granny’s. We need to go,  _ right now. _ ” Her voice cracks at the end, and she rakes a hand through her hair agitatedly. “Damn it.” She whispers, and Zelena sees tears threatening to erupt. “Why does Henry always have to get caught in the crossfire?” She begins to wave a hand, summoning the purple smoke. 

 

Zelena eyes her sister uneasily. “Perhaps you should change your clothes-” But it’s too late. Purple smoke engulfs the two sisters, and when it clears, they are standing outside Grannys. There’s snow on the ground, and the air is chilly, but Regina doesn’t seem to notice, despite the thin layers that her pajamas provide. Her face is tight, and drawn, all focused on her son’s safety. 

 

Regina stalks over to where Snow, Emma, Charming and Hook are all gathered. They all look at her with wide eyes. “Where’s my son?” 

 

“Um- in- in there?” Charming says, glancing open mouthed at Regina’s pajamas. “You...you didn’t get dressed?” 

 

“Well, I was still asleep when you called me.” Regina suddenly realises what she’s wearing, and flushes. Then shuffles slightly, and that’s when Zelena notices that she’s wearing fluffy slippers.  _ Such a dork.  _

 

Hook sniggers, and Regina gives him such a fierce glare, that even Zelena cowers slightly. “Shut up, pirate.” 

 

The pirate quails for a second, before regaining his composure. “Sorry. Just never thought I’d see the Evil Queen in yoda pajamas. And I always knew you were self obsessed, but isn’t the t-shirt going a little far?” 

 

It’s meant as a joke, but Regina stiffens, her face closing up. “I’d prefer you refrain from making jokes about me being self obsessed when my son wasn’t in danger, pirate. Save the puns for another day.” 

 

Emma, who had been silent, apart from a small gasp when Regina appeared, pipes up. Zelena glares at the blonde a little, but she doesn’t notice. “Killian- please.” She gives the pirate a look, and so Hook sighs, and scuffs his boot against the tarmac. Then she turns to Regina. “She says that just you and me have to go in there, Regina, if we want Henry back.” 

 

Regina frowns at the blonde in concentration. Whatever happened between the two of them, Zelena notices Regina isn’t paying any attention to it. “That’s it?” 

 

“That’s it.” Emma says, and Zelena notices that her eyes have dark circles underneath them, a reflection of Regina’s own red rimmed eyes (which nobody has really noticed, thankfully) and exhaustion. 

 

“Okay. Let’s go then.” Regina says, and starts to walk. Snow pulls her back. 

 

“Wait, Regina. Shouldn’t we come up with some kind of strategy?” 

 

Regina glares at her former step-daughter. “There is no such thing as time to spare for strategy when my son is in danger. Let’s go, Emma.” 

 

Emma nods, agreeing with Regina. Then, exchanging a glance with the brunette, the two walk towards Granny’s. 

 

Zelena leans over to Snow, and whispers, “Did you see Regina’s pajamas?” 

 

There’s a click, and Snow lowers her phone, a smirk more suited to her former stepmother present on her face. Zelena glances at the phone and stifles a laugh when she sees numerous photos of Regina in her pajamas, obviously taken from a stealthy angle. “Oh, you betcha. Time to get revenge for all those horrible dresses she used to put me in before balls.” She wrinkles her nose. “Regina, before all the dark and evil stuff was a very petty person when it came to revenge.” 

 

Zelena snorts. “Regina, the Petty Queen. Somehow, it doesn’t have the same ring as evil.” 

 

“No, no.” Snow muses. “Anyway, how was she this morning? A little bird told me that Regina is a disaster when she is woken up.” Knowing Snow, that little bird was meant in the literal sense.

 

Zelena rolls her eyes. “She was huddled in her cocoon of doom and gloom when I arrived.” 

 

“Hey, that rhymes!” 

 

“That’s what I said!” Zelena says, smug. 

 

Snow’s face takes on a pensive look. “But why was she huddled in a cocoon of doom and gloom?” 

 

“Beats me.” Zelena shrugs, a carefully constructed look of nonchalance on her face. Suddenly, a loud boom echoes from Grannys. Snow tenses, and Zelena starts. 

 

“I hope they’re okay.” Snow says, worrying her lip. 

 

Zelena stares at Grannys. “Well, you know those two. What they do best is save each other.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here's another chapter because I seriously have nothing to do at the moment, apart from write and wait for reviews.


	8. In which the Black Fairy makes things worse

The Black Fairy is sitting in a booth when the two enter Granny’s. One leg crossed over the other, she dangles her fingers at the edge of the table, casually flicking away some dust. 

 

“There you are.” She smiles warmly, and Emma shivers, glancing at Regina who has a fearsome growl. Although, that effect is slightly negated with the endearing pajamas she has on, which much to Emma’s indignation, Regina can still pull off effortlessly. 

 

“Where’s Henry?” Regina growls, and Emma clenches her fists, as the Black Fairy smiles. 

 

“Safe and sound.” She says, glee evident in her voice. “And I’ve got you just where I want you.” 

 

Regina summons a fireball in her hand, moving forward. “Not so fast,  _ gnat.  _ Tell us where our son is.” 

 

The Black Fairy waves a finger. “No, I don’t think I will, just yet. First, I think I will…” She swings her arm around, between the two women. “Yes, I think I’ll destroy Emma Swan, first.” Her pointed finger lands on Emma, and Regina steps in front of the blonde, protectively. 

 

“You’ll have to get through me, first.” Regina snarls, and launches her fireball at the Black Fairy who dances out of the way. 

 

“My dear, I am the most powerful magical being in existence.” The Black Fairy coos. “Do you really think one of your pathetic fireballs will defeat me?” 

 

Regina smirks. “No. But I had to try, now didn’t I?” 

 

Emma steps forward, her own fists glowing with light magic. “And you forget, bug, that she’s got me by her side as well, the Saviour.” 

 

“And what good will your pathetic light magic do against me?” 

 

“Hurt you, hopefully.” Emma responds, and thrusts her hands forward, a large wave of magic succeeding in knocking the Black Fairy off her feet. 

 

The Black Fairy yelps as she hits the floor, and then gets up with a scowl. “Alright then, enough with the foreplay.” 

 

She raises her hands, and with an ominous feeling, Regina notices the swirling black storm that the fairy has conjured. Nodding at Emma, the two conjure their magic together, and aiming it at the Black Fairy, strain with all their might to hurt her. 

 

Their magic pushes the Black Fairy back, who summons some odd looking dark bolts, which fly at Emma. Waving a hand, Regina pushes them out of the way, whirling towards the Black Fairy, her own magic hitting the woman in the chest. 

 

“Tell me where Henry is!” Regina yells, and blasts another orb of magic. 

 

The fairy is blown off her feet, back in the air, landing in a crouching position on top of one of the tables. Emma moves forward, next to Regina, and they both prepare for their next attack when- 

 

“Moms?” It’s Henry’s voice, and the two mothers gasp, as they turn towards their son, who is struggling next to the Black Fairy. He materialised out of thin air, and the fairy holds him there with a smirk. 

 

“Henry!” Emma cries, and moves forward- only to come against some kind of barrier. “Henry?” 

 

“What is this?” Regina growls, and pushes her hands against the barrier. The Black Fairy laughs, breathlessly. 

 

“That my dears, is what is stopping you from reaching your son.” She smiles, a nasty edge in it. “I have come to make a deal.” 

 

Both Emma and Regina groan; the Black Fairy is much too much like her son in that matter. 

 

“What’s the deal?” Regina asks, eyeing Henry nervously, who is still in mid air, looking uncomfortable. 

 

“In order for your son to be returned, I want Emma to meet me, at six o'clock, two days from now. There, we will face off, finally, and I shall kill me a Saviour.” 

 

Regina’s breath hitches in her throat- there’s no way they can make this deal. But it’s not hers to make. Emma steps forward, eyes determined. “Deal.” 

 

“What?” Both Henry and Regina cry. “No, Emma-” 

 

“It’s a deal.” Emma says, and her eyes are hard. “Now give me my son back.” 

 

The Black Fairy giggles, and Henry is propelled forward, landing on the floor. Regina and Emma immediately rush towards their son, who hugs them both fiercely. 

 

“Moms, don’t worry, I’m alright.” He says, and as soon as Regina is finished checking him for injuries, she glares at Emma. 

 

“What?” Emma says, uncomfortably. “It was the only way to get her to release Henry!” 

 

“And so now what, you’re just going to face her in battle?” Regina asks, a storm brewing in her eyes. “That’s the most idiotic thing I’ve ever heard, Emma!” 

 

Henry looks between his two mothers. “Mom, Ma, we’ll figure it out.” He says, biting his lip. “I mean- we always do, right?” His voice squeaks at the end, and Regina gives Emma a look that says,  _ this isn’t over,  _ and hugs Henry again. 

 

“We will, Henry, don’t worry.” Regina soothes, sighing. 

  
Henry draws back. “Mom, why are you wearing your pajamas?” He says, with a puzzled half smile. 

 

Regina flushes, caring for the first time about her appearance. “I was still asleep when I got the call.” She murmurs, and Emma snickers, despite the severity of the situation that they have found themselves in. 

 

“Never would have thought that the Evil Queen was such a dork.”

 

“I am not a dork, Emma.” Regina says with a glare. 

 

“Whatever, dork.” 

 

**********

 

They’re all gathered at the Charmings, and Regina still hasn’t had time to change. Usually she would just summon her clothing, but her little fight with the Black Fairy left her slightly weaker than usual, and she doesn’t want to risk accidentally poofing herself nude in front of everyone. 

  
She’d done that before, back during her days as Rumple’s apprentice and it had not been a pleasant experience. It had been the closest thing to afraid Regina had ever seen Rumple. 

 

Henry is back with Zelena, because despite the fact that he knows the nature of the deal that Emma has struck with the Black Fairy, neither Regina or Emma want him caught up in the middle of everything. In the meantime, Regina is internally groaning as she is subjected to another Charming family brainstorming session. 

 

“We can just- take Emma outside the town line, that day.” David suggests. They’re currently debating how to keep Emma alive, because in two days time, she will face her fate. And the Black Fairy is, unfortunately, much more powerful than any Saviour magic Emma could conjure up. “That way the Black Fairy can’t reach her without her magic.” 

 

“No, you dolt.” Regina snorts. The entire Charming family thinks the same way- it’s either run, or fight. “If we do that, the Black Fairy is sure to wreak havoc on the town. The only reason she hasn’t been doing it is because Emma is alive, and somehow has the power to stop her.” She glances over at said Saviour, who is hunched over in a chair, and bites her lip worriedly. “I can work on a potion, Emma, to help you in the fight. We can train- I can teach you a few things-” 

 

“No.” Emma interrupts Regina’s monologue, and lifts her head, eyes shadowed.“No, Regina. I am not going to spend the next few days preparing for my own death.” 

  
Immediately, shouts arise in the room, but Emma just lifts her hands. “QUIET!” Everyone shuts up, even the pirate who had been gesticulating wildly with his hook just moments before. Regina eyes the metal weapon distastefully. Why did he always have to have a murder weapon attached to his hand? Then, Regina ponders, she wasn’t one to talk. 

 

“I want to spend the next few days with my family.” Emma says, clearing her throat. She meets Regina’s eyes, briefly, and something flashes through them, before she glances at her parents. “If I am going to die, I will die happy.” 

 

Regina shakes her head. “No, I refuse to let that happen.” She says, fiercely. “The day you die, Emma Swan, is the day that the Evil Queen fails. And I don’t fail.” 

 

There’s a silence, and then Snow pipes up. 

 

“Uh- Regina- not that I don’t appreciate you fighting for my daughter's life, but you have failed...you know, killing me, and all?” The severity of the situation doesn’t stop smugness from appearing on both Charming and Snow’s faces, and Regina grits her teeth. 

 

“Shut up Snow, I’m trying to make a point here.” 

 

Emma’s face seems lighter somehow, with Snow and Regina’s banter lifting some tension. “Thanks.” She says, softly, and then runs a hand through her messy curls. “Look, you guys, this is the Final battle. It’s what I’ve been destined for from the moment I was born. I want to spend my last few days before I meet that destiny, with my family, at Granny’s, getting all the unhealthy fried food I can eat. This is my battle; there’s not much you all can do to help me.” 

 

There’s a silence, and but Regina just shakes her head.  “No. No, Emma. I won’t let you walk to your death, just like that.” 

 

Emma looks at her, reaching out a hand to take hers, before retracting it, obviously thinking twice about such familiarity. “It’s not your choice, Regina.” 

 

“But what about Henry?”  _ What about me?  _

 

“If I die, then Henry will have his other mother there who will do a brilliant job in raising our kid, whether or not I’m alive. ” Emma says, and there is such conviction in her voice that Regina is taken aback.“There’s nothing else I can do, Regina. The Final Battle isn’t some exam I need to study for.” 

 

Regina opens her mouth again, to argue, but Snow places a hand on her arm. “Regina...please.” She says softly, and the brunette deflates as she sees the sadness in her former stepdaughters eyes. 

 

The room is held in a kind of suspenseful silence; tension rife in the air. Then, of course, the pirate opens his mouth and things are made worse. He turns towards Emma, and brings her forward, away from Regina, and in front of him, right ahead of Snow and David. 

 

“Actually, Emma, I was thinking we…” He trails off slightly, and approaches Emma, face earnest. “I don’t want you to lose you before we could get married. I can’t stand the thought of not having wedded you before you face the biggest battle of your life. Let us get married, in two days time, and then after the happiest moment of your life, you can fight the Black Fairy. Fight her with that love in your heart.” 

  
There’s a tense silence, and Regina has to stop herself from gagging at the saccharine sweetness in the little speech by Handless Wonder. Emma’s shoulders stiffen, and Regina prays, she  _ prays _ , that Emma doesn’t say yes. 

 

“Oh, that’s a wonderful idea!” Snow pipes up, and Regina feels her heart fall to the bottom of her stomach. “David and I did something similar-” She casts a glance at Regina who is in the middle of a valiant attempt to keep her face passive. “When Regina threatened us. A wedding during times of crisis is what everyone needs. It’s what you need, Emma.” 

 

“I- I think that’s a good idea.” Emma’s voice is slow, thoughtful, but it’s a yes. The entire Charming family  _ awws  _ and suddenly Emma’s kissing Hook, and there’s such a sickly sweet happy feel that it makes Regina want to throw up. Emma’s face flashes towards Regina as Hook spins her around, and for the briefest of moments their eyes meet. Regina tries to tell her,  _ she tries,  _ but Emma turns back to Hook. 

 

Regina can barely move. She’s at the back of the little Charming entourage, Snow and David beaming right by Emma’s shoulders, the blonde herself, facing Hook. Regina’s in the back, by the door, so she can’t see Emma’s face, but she can see Hook’s. 

 

He looks at her, and smirks.  _ I’ve won.  _


	9. In which Zelena is a mastermind

**T- 30 hours until the wedding**

 

“Oh god this is bad. I repeat, Greenie, we have a CODE RED on our hands, a CODE FUCKING RED!” Henry screams into his walkie talkie, the minute he can get away from the wedding planning. 

 

The walkie talkie crackles to life. “Henry Daniel Mills, if you ever use that language again, you won’t see your X-Box for a year.” 

 

Henry starts back from the walkie talkie, nearly dropping it into the snow. “Mom?” He asks, hesitantly. “Why do you have Zelena’s walkie talkie?” 

 

“I dropped round at the farm house to confiscate it from her earlier, when I went home to change.” 

 

“And-where are you now.?” Henry asks weakly. 

 

“Looking at you from the bathroom window.” 

  
Henry winces as he looks up at Emma’s house, and there is his mother, staring disapprovingly at his figure in the yard. Clicking the walkie talkie button again, he sighs. “Sorry mom. So I guess you found out about Auntie Zelena and I’s operation?” 

 

“Yes, I did. And I want you to stop it, Henry.” The last part is said with a sigh, almost hesitantly. 

 

“What?” Henry asks, and his face drops. “Mom, why?” 

 

“Because Emma is getting married, and there is no way in any kind of realm that I am ruining another Charming wedding.” 

 

Frowning, Henry kicks some snow up. “But Mom, you guys love each other!” 

 

“I think Emma and I are the best judges of that.” His mom replies, but Henry hears something odd in her voice- almost as though she were trying not to cry. Looking at the window again, he sees her back turned towards the window. 

 

“If that’s what you want.” Henry grumbles, softly. 

 

“It is.” His mother replies softly, and Henry’s shoulders droop. “Now get back inside, young man, before you catch a cold!” 

  
Looking back up at his mother, he sees that she’s now turned towards him, and smiling. “Okay Mom.” He says. “I’ve just gotta get something from the shed. Hook said it’s important.” 

 

He can practically hear his mom rolling his eyes at the mention of the pirate. “Fine, but then you need to come back inside. Hook wants you to be his best man, or something ridiculous  like that.” The last part is said with such disdain that Henry shivers at the force of the dislike in his mother’s voice. 

 

Waving at his mother, Henry makes his way around the house, and towards the shed. Then, he hears a small-

 

“Pssst!” 

 

Looking around, Henry spots a black pointy hat sticking up from the bushes. “Oh I wonder who that could be.” He says, sarcastically. “Oh no, Auntie Zelena  _ is that you?”  _

 

His aunt emerges from the bush, a smug look evident on her face. “My protege is learning the skills of deduction, I see.” 

 

“You’re wearing a pointy witch hat and standing behind a bush.” Henry points out. 

  
Zelena grabs her hat, an offended look on her face. “I’ll have you know this kind of hat was all the rage in Oz!” 

 

“ _ Whatever,  _ Auntie Zelena.” 

 

His aunt rubs her hands together, and steps forward. “We’ve hit a roadblock, my young apprentice.” She says, a gleam in her eye. “The wedding has been moved forward, and your mother- Regina that is- is aware of our planning. So, we need to be extremely covert, in the next few days. I have a few diagrams-” A flash of green smoke appears, summoning said diagrams. 

 

“Auntie Zelena,” Henry interrupts. 

 

“Yes?” The witch replies, now with a large piece of printed cardboard in hand, with a venn diagram neatly drawn out. “You have a critique on my presentation? I spent a good hour on this, so be careful.” 

 

Henry squints at the paper. In the two circles, one labelled ‘Regina’ and the other ‘Emma’ and in the middle it’s ‘obvious sexual tension.’ And underneath that are small lists in each circle that Henry doesn’t ever want to read- his eye catches the first word which is already enough to scar him forever. 

 

He shudders, continuing. “My mom doesn’t want us to do this.” 

 

Zelena freezes. She currently is expanding a stand for the venn diagram to stand on, and whips around to face her nephew. “What?” She splutters, indignant. “Are you losing faith in our most sacred mission?” 

 

Frustrated, Henry continues. “Look, Auntie Zelena. This was fun, and all, but my Ma is getting married. They might love each other, but I think we’re causing more pain to my Mom than actually helping her. They’re adults, and they have to decide for themselves.” 

 

All humour drops from Zelena’s face, and she sighs, putting a hand on Henry’s shoulder. “Your mothers are idiots.” She says, a sad chuckle in her voice. “I was the same, long ago, and it cost Regina her happiness.” 

  
Henry wrinkles his nose. “Is that why you’ve done all this?” He asks. “Because Hades killed Robin?” 

 

Zelena eyes him morosely. “I destroyed Regina’s happiness, because I was too stupid to see beyond the love I held for Hades. No, scratch that, I destroyed it the moment I pretended to be Marian.” She sighs, dejectedly. “But I want to be a good sister. And even if this isn’t the conventional way of doing it, I will get Regina her happy ending.” 

 

“But how? I want my moms to be happy; I don’t want to ruin Emma’s wedding.” 

 

Zelena drops her head, and when she looks up, she’s weary. “Alright, Henry. I won’t interfere with your mother’s wedding anymore.”

 

Henry lets out a puff of air, feeling vaguely disappointed. “Alright. Emma’s going to get married to Hook, but my mom will be happy. I know she will.” 

  
After all this time, Henry should know when his aunt is lying. But he doesn’t pick up on the simpering smile that Zelena sends his way, nor the telltale gleam in her eye “Everything will go according to plan, I promise you.” 

 

Naturally, they don’t. 

 

************

**T-27 hours until the wedding**

 

The afternoon before Emma’s wedding, a day after the fight with the Black Fairy, and approximately 28 hours before Emma enters the fight of her life, Regina is caught by Snow sobbing at her kitchen counter while trying to bake a wedding cake. 

 

“Oh, Regina, what’s wrong?” Snow says anxiously, as she enters the kitchen to find Regina bawling over the batter. 

 

“I-can’t-get-the-ingredients-correct!” Regina says, while trying to control her crying, and waving at the mess of flour and sugar behind her. “It all tastes like dirt!” 

 

Of course, it’s a lie. Regina’s cooking skills are impeccable, but upon the sudden thought of Emma’s near certain death, and her fight with the Black Fairy, Regina had been unable to contain her tears. But with Snow, one must never tell secrets, such as the fact that Regina is terrified of losing Emma- not just to the pirate, but also to death. 

 

“Oh, let me help!” Snow says, disturbed by the tear soaked cheeks that Regina is allowing to be full on display. “I suppose you are more stressed than I thought you would be.” 

  
“Why do you think I’m stressed?” Regina snaps, flinging an arm across her face to wipe the tears away. “I’m not stressed.” 

 

Snow raises an eyebrow, and Regina realises how she must look. “Fine, I’m a little bit stressed.” Then she bites her lip, her tears finally having stopped. “But it’s not just that.” 

 

Snow calmly takes the wooden spoon that Regina is grasping, and begins to stir the batter. “Oh?” 

 

Regina hesitates. Secrets and Snow White have always been slightly precarious. And this one, well, Snow would probably beat her over the head with the wooden spoon. So she alters it, slightly. 

 

“I have a friend who’s in love with her best friend who’s getting married.” Regina blurts out.  _ Yeah, good one, she’ll never get that.  _ Regina thinks, sarcastically. 

 

Snow freezes for a moment, and Regina notices her lips twitch, slightly. “That’s unfortunate.” There’s something in her voice that Regina can’t quite identify, but she plows ahead, anyway. 

  
“Okay so this friend- you know what? Let’s call her- uh- Betsy. So Betsy, is in love with- with- Gertrude. Right, so Betsy loves Gertrude, you get that?” Snow nods, and Regina continues. “But Gertrude is getting married to a fish stinking sop, who is in no way good enough for her. But Betsy know, she  _ knows  _ that Gertrude is happy with said fish stinking sop, and doesn’t want to ruin that. Should she...should she go to this wedding?” Regina blushes once she finishes her plea for help, aware of how see through it is. 

 

Snow’s shoulders droop, and she places both hands on the kitchen counter, looking down. “Regina- I know Betsy. I know her quite well, in fact.” 

  
Regina prepares herself for the explosion that is Angry-Snow-Mama-White. 

 

“And I love Gertrude, very dearly. And while the fish stinking sop may make Gertrude happy- on the surface, I know that Betsy makes Gertrude much, much happier, and has done for a much longer time. However, until today, I was unaware that Betsy had ever had any feelings for Gertrude, only that Gertrude, for the longest time, had been madly in love with Betsy.” 

  
Regina’s eyes widen with disbelief, but she doesn’t say anything. 

 

“And although it took me some time, admittedly a lot of time, and shooting arrows at pictures of Betsy while cursing her name-” 

 

Regina winces. There had been a period around six months ago when they hadn’t been fighting some evil villain that Snow had been extremely angry with Regina for no apparent reason. Regina had just assumed it had been some residual ‘you-cursed-us -for-28-years-anger’. Now she realised it was ‘my-daughter-is-apparently-in-love-with-my -former-nemesis-anger’.

 

“I came to terms with it. I just never thought that Betsy would ever love Gertrude back, so I supported the fish stinking sop’s engagement to Gertrude with all my heart,” Snow says, and then she reaches over and takes Regina’s hands. Her eyes are earnest, and Regina shivers, because she doesn’t deserve this, not at all. “I will support whatever Gertrude chooses, but I want Betsy to be happy, as well. So if Gertrude chooses the fish stinking sop- then I think-” Snow looks at her, pityingly. “I think that Betsy should skip the wedding.” 

 

Regina nods her head, aware that tears have sprung up into her eyes. Wiping them away, she inhales a gulp of air. “Oh, god, Snow. I’m so sorry.” 

 

“There’s nothing to be sorry for.” Snow says, a small smile on her face. “You’re my friend, Regina. My  _ family.  _  Mother to my grandson, as odd as that is. And obviously in love with my daughter.” 

 

Regina nods, tightly. “I know that’s not what you wanted.” 

 

Snow laughs. “I denied it, for a long time, and Charming still is completely oblivious, but I want Emma to be happy.” She says, gently. “Will you talk to her?” 

 

Regina freezes. Emma had chosen Hook, and they’d said their goodbyes, in some kind of odd way. It was over. There was nothing Regina could do, and so she’d lose her best friend to a pirate who knew that Regina was in love with his fiance. But that was Emma’s choice, not Regina’s. 

 

Regina purses her lips. “Gertrude chose the fish stinking sop, Snow. Betsy will not be attending the wedding. And she wants you to give Gertrude all her love, and an excuse on why she can’t be there. Perhaps...Gertrude will- will understand.” 

 

“But the Black Fairy-” 

 

“I’ll be there, Snow. Emma will not die.” Regina’s heart wrenches at that thought. “But the wedding is something I can’t do. I- I just can’t.” 

  
Snow’s eyes soften, and then dim. “Oh Regina.” She says, and squeezes her hand again.    
  
They stay like that, for some time, before Regina finishes the cake. 

 

It’s delicious.  

 

************

**T- 14 hours until the wedding**

 

Candles flicker in the dark, and a red headed figure bends over a piece of paper, frantically scribbling away. In the corner, a printer can be heard, rapidly printing out masses of paper in one go. On the other side of the room, a large corkboard hangs, and on it are pinned photos, a blonde and a brunette, exchanging heated glances across rooms or beside each other while fighting an evil force. 

 

It should be noted, however, that these photos have obviously been taken by someone who is attempting to go covert, and has barely operated a camera, with many shots having a finger in them, or the witch herself, photobombing the picture as her nephew attempts to stalk his mothers. 

 

“How to get them to admit their love….” Zelena murmurs as she brushes away more wax from her paper. “Damn you Emma and your stupid abandonment issues. Everyone’s been there, done that, got the t-shirt. But you have to choose a freaking rum soaked piece of seaweed in order to show your insecurities.” 

 

She pauses for a second, and then yelps. “Oh my god that’s it!” 

 

Then grimaces. 

 

“Nope, I don’t think the Charming family will appreciate me turning Captain Guyliner into a flying monkey.” She scowls. “Stupid hero-complexes.” 

 

She turns to the baby, who is lying in a crib, gurgling. “What do you think, my little pistachio?” 

  
Robyn giggles. “Mahhma.” 

 

“Yes that’s right, but what do you  _ think?”  _

 

“Jawwwa!” 

 

“No my darling,  _ articulate,  _ get that mouth moving!” 

 

Robyn just sighs slightly. Then gurgles some more, as though to say,  _ I can’t, idiot mother of mine. _

 

Zelena slaps her fist on the table, frustrated. “Damn it Robyn, you know I can’t interpret the language of gurgle!” 

 

She bends back over the paper, and then slumps dramatically in a chair, her hand over her forehead. “Oh, Henry!” She wails. “Why can’t you be here to help me understand the genius that is my brain?” 

 

No one says anything, and Zelena pouts. “It’s a lot less fun being wicked when all you have is a gurgling baby who refuses to cooperate with you.” Sighing, she turns back to the paper. 

 

“Maybe I’ve got to think from a different perspective.” She muses, and crosses the room towards her corkboard. Fingering a picture where Regina and Emma are both blushing (the date being a day after the ‘diner incident’) her finger lands on Snow, who is gazing at the two with a smile twisted on her lips. 

 

“That’s it.” Zelena says, and laughs, a wild cackle that shocks Robyn into hiccups. “I’ll give her a damned  _ hope speech!”  _

 

All that punctuates her sentence is a hiccup from Robyn, but Zelena no longer cares. A wild, yet hopeful grin on her face, she dances around the room, the final solution clear. 

 

Yes, Zelena may be slightly mad, but no one could ever fault her methods. 

 

The night rages on, and all that can be heard is the frantic murmurs of a witch preparing the monologue of a lifetime. 

 

 

*************

**T- 30 minutes until the wedding**

 

“This is it.” Zelena’s voice is serious, and she has a grim look on her face. “This is the day that all my hard work comes to fruition. We can not mess this up, do you hear me? Regina’s happiness is on the line, and if I do not succeed in this final masterful manipulation, there will be a very messy divorce coming our way and I don’t know if any Storybrooke lawyers are up for trying to separate that barnacle from Emma. So. I must ask you once again.  _ Are you with me? _ ” 

 

Baby Robyn gurgles, and then gives a gummy smile, looking up at her mother. Zelena winks. “That’s right, my little green bean. Get that game face on!” 

 

A whirl of green smoke later, Zelena is standing in front of her sister’s porch, and rapping on the door, smooths down her dress, and adjusts her face to it’s most sympathetic expression. Which ends up making her look vaguely constipated, but Zelena reckons that it’ll do. 

 

The door opens, and Regina is standing there, in a grey power suit, which doesn’t distract from her pale and drawn face. Zelena purses her lips, and sweeps past her sister, ignoring Regina’s loud huff. 

 

“I’m a bit busy right now, trying to find a way for Emma to defeat the Black Fairy, so if you could please-” 

 

“And have you found anything?” Zelena cuts her sister off. 

 

Regina scowls, and there is a hint of the devastation she feels on her face. “No. I haven’t. Emma won’t die, not on my watch.” 

 

“I don’t doubt it.” Zelena says, and for a moment there is a reminder of what day this is, and what Emma faces after the wedding. 

  
“Well?  _ What  _ is it Zelena?” Regina asks, crossing her arms as Zelena turns to face her sister. “Don’t you have a wedding to attend?” The bitterness in her voice is palpable, and the red headed witch shakes her head. 

 

“You must be delusional if you think I’d attend that wedding without you. I have a very intricate history with the Charming family, and I’m surprised I even got an invite. But there is no way in hell that I’d sit down, in some little corner, without my sister by my side to hold my hand through the passive aggressive comments Captain Guyliner always aims my way.” 

 

This earns her a satisfied smirk from Regina. “He never is one for subtlety.” 

 

“Yes. But neither are you, my dear. Which is why I have come to ask,  _ why in god’s name aren’t you there at the moment?”  _

 

Regina’s face drops, and there is silence. For a moment, all Zelena can hear is the far off engine of a car, crunching through the snow in the streets. Then, Regina says, “Because if I go, I’m afraid that I will do something idiotic, like try and stop the wedding.” 

 

Internally, Zelena is yelling with glee. Outwardly, she leans, calm and collected against the bannister of the stairs. “Cool. Well, who hasn’t ever wanted to stand up and do that during the whole ‘speak now or forever hold your peace’ bit?” 

 

Regina gives her an odd look, and Zelena waves her hand dismissively. “Munchkin wedding back in 09’, the groom looked absolutely  _ delicious.  _ Anyway, back to your little dilemma. Would that really be such a bad thing?” She bounces baby Robyn in her arms, as the baby yawns slightly. 

 

With a sigh, Regina presses her lips together, brown eyes brimming with what could only be described as fatigue. “I just- I just want Emma to be happy.” 

 

“I doubt she’s going to be very happy today, considering she’s about to face a battle to the death.” Zelena reminds her sister. 

 

Regina winces. “I don’t think I can face it all. And Emma’s about to fight the Black Fairy and it’s just….” She trails off with a groan.  

 

It’s with great joy that Zelena begins her carefully prepared three point manipulation plan. “Regina. My little sister, light of my life besides Henry and my little green bean. You have been through so, so much.” 

 

Regina raises an eyebrow, and Zelena hastens to her point. “Love isn’t something that’s easy. If love were easy, then Hades would be standing here right now, not a pile of dust swept under the rug. Literally. If love were easy, you and Emma would be happily married with tons of little nephews and nieces for me to coddle. Hell, if love were easy, our mother would be standing here right now, supporting me in our lecture- because in my mind, ‘Cora-with-a-heart-2.0’ would be as on board with this as I am.” 

 

Regina chuckles, and Zelena is gratified to see that her passionate speaking has evoked some softness in Regina’s eyes. “Regina, I love you. You are my little sister, and I’m so glad I didn’t erase you from history. But I also can’t forget that I caused you so much pain when I made the stupid mistake of trusting- of trusting Hades. And I want you to find love again. I believe that that love is with Emma, has always been with Emma.” 

 

Regina opens her mouth to protest, but Zelena cuts her off. “No, no no. Regina, let me explain something to you. When I was….being all wicked and trying to stop you from being born, you know, the usual, I actually thought that you and Emma were a couple.” 

  
This time, Regina can’t be silenced. “What?” 

  
Zelena smirks. “Is it really that hard to believe? All those longing looks you sent her and Henry, and I refuse to believe it was just for Henry. You tried to put yourself in an eternal slumber that could only be woken by true love’s kiss after losing them both. And don’t get me started on the numerous times you two have willingly tried to get yourself killed for the other. Regina-” Zelena puffs out her breath, disbelief colouring her tone. “You can’t allow Emma to get married.” 

 

Regina laughs, and there is a slight note of hysteria in it. “Oh, and  _ what do you propose?  _ That I storm in there, and ruin another Charming wedding?” 

 

Zelena looks at her, blankly. “Well, yes that’s exactly what I had in mind, actually.” 

 

Regina throws her hands up in the air, and stomps into the living room, Zelena following her. “I can’t do that. Emma chose Hook. She made that very clear.” 

 

Zelena rolls her eyes. “What were her exact words again? Oh, right, something along the lines of,  _ I wanted you to fight for me. _ ” Zelena grabs her sister’s hands, and spins the former mayor around. “Regina, she loves you.  _ Trust me. _ ” 

 

Regina stares at her, before shaking her head. “No. I can’t do this. If- if this doesn’t work out, I will have ruined my relationship with Emma forever.” Then she winces again. “Well, the memory of my relationship with her, and also a last possible chance at happiness. And Henry- Henry will never forgive that.” 

 

“Yes I will.” 

 

Both sisters whip around, to see a snow covered Henry, standing in the front hall, shivering slightly. “Henry?” 

 

Henry steps forward, his eyes determined. “Auntie Zelena, I have returned to your teachings. I am deeply regretful that I ever doubted you, or our just cause.” 

 

Zelena nods, and feels a lump in her throat. “I greatly appreciate that, young apprentice of mine.” She lifts Robyn’s hand slightly. “I’m afraid as much as I love my daughter, she simply is too young to fully understand the art of manipulation, like you do.” 

 

Henry bows his head. “Mom, you’ve got to listen to Auntie Zel.” 

 

The red headed witch’s face lights up.“He gave me a nickname!” Zelena squeals slightly, pulling at her sister’s arm. “He gave me a cool aunt nickname!” 

 

Henry smirks, a mirror image of his dark haired mother. “Well, considering I’m your protege in the ways of wicked manipulation, you should have a nickname.” 

  
Regina looks slightly dumbfounded. Then, suspicious. Finally, realization crosses her face, and Zelena watches in amusement as her sister understands who exactly has been helping with the mistletoe and the kissing booth. “Oh, Henry.  _ You  _ were behind the kissing booth and the mistletoe?” 

 

Henry smiles smugly. “Well, not to brag or anything-” 

 

Regina sighs. Then, suddenly, her eyes snap up, and Zelena groans, seeing ‘full-time-helicopter-mom’ in Regina’s expression. “What’s this about apprenticeship? Henry- is this good for your CV? I’m not so sure Harvard accepts ‘apprentice in the ways of wicked manipulation’ as a reference.” She asks sternly. 

 

Henry waves a hand. “Don’t worry Mom, I talked to Grandpa and he said he’d set me up at the dog shelter through some buddies of his. Who doesn’t love a compassionate animal lover?” 

 

Zelena narrows her eyes and coughs slightly. “Henry, Henry, eyes on the prize, my boy!” 

 

Henry refocuses. “Right, right. Mom, Ma is so totally in love with you. I haven’t seen anyone look so lost when she found out you weren’t coming since Grandma made the wrong turn on our trip to the movie theaters last thursday.” 

 

He shudders. “We were lost in some suburban hell for  _ hours,  _ until Grams convinced some raven to lead us out of all the cookie cutter house mazes.  _ Anyway,  _ my point is, I heard Emma crying. As in, Emma. Crying. In a bathroom. Crying. Emma crying in a bathroom. After she heard. She made the small mistake of not turning on the shower, though, so we all heard her echoey gulping sobs. It was freaking awkward.” 

 

Regina’s face immediately shows concern. “Is she alright?” 

 

Henry makes a face. “She wasn’t wearing waterproof mascara.” Both Regina and Zelena wince. “It was a trainwreck, but Grams had some handy makeup wipes on her. Mom, the wedding starts-” He checks his watch. “Right about now. I can’t let you let Emma make this mistake. She actually did the whole lips-to-cheek thing with Hook yesterday. You know, not allowing him to kiss her on the lips? I think she’s only picking him because she’s afraid.” 

 

“Mom, Ma is going to fight today, the fight she’s been prophesied to do since the moment she was born. You are that happiness, the one you say she needs. Please, trust me on this.” 

 

Regina looks conflicted. “Henry….I can’t do this. Not again.” 

 

Henry rolls his eyes. “Mo-om. Please. Grams got over the whole dramatic entrance thing at the wedding- like- three decades ago. She actually told me that she sorta admired the whole timing, you know? Before the whole ruining of her happiness thing.” 

 

“But- but how do I know she’ll choose me?” Regina’s voice is small, scared, and Henry moves forward, hugging his mother tightly. 

 

“If she doesn’t, then she’s the biggest idiot in the world, and I will tell her that.” 

 

Regina kisses her son’s forehead. “Thank you, Henry.” 

 

Zelena’s eyes twinkle, and she nuzzles the top of Robyn’s head, the baby looking just as excited as her mother. “So? Are you going to go?” 

 

A mischievous smile edges it’s way onto Regina’s face. “One moment.” A puff of silver smoke envelops her, and when it clears, Regina’s makeup is perfectly done, and she’s wearing a white blouse and a red skirt. 

 

“Let’s go crash a wedding!” Henry cheers. 

 

Zelena just bites her lip. “I haven’t been so excited since Snow gave birth!” 

 

This gains her an odd look from Henry and Regina. “What?” Zelena whines. “Regina don’t tell me you weren’t excited about the whole dark curse thingy majig. I bet you even had a calendar. All evil villains have a countdown clock, it’s common practice.” 

 

Regina just rolls her eyes. “Sometimes, Zelena, you really need to feel the mood.” 

 

Zelena shrugs. “Nah. I’m sorta one to just say what’s on their mind.” 

 

Regina just sighs, and waves her hand. “Right. You two will wait outside the church, and I will crash the wedding. If it doesn’t work out, we are going on an impromptu vacation to a mountain somewhere in Tibet, okay?” 

 

“OKAY!” Henry and Zelena cheer. 

 

As the purple smoke envelops them, Zelena suddenly squawks, “Wait-  _ Tibet?  _ Robyn might get altitude sickness! _ ”  _


	10. In which Regina repeats history, but for a very different cause.

Emma’s having a bad, bad, day. 

 

Of course, it’s supposed to be the happiest day of her life, but the thing is, there are a few off-putting factors. 

 

First off- Emma’s doomed to die this day, right after she gets her ‘happy ending’ at the hands of a manic gnat. 

 

Secondly, she’s not so sure she wants to marry Killian. 

 

Yeah, Emma’s not sure which of those two factors is worse. 

 

“HAPPY HAPPY WEDDING DAY!” Snow trills, and yanks back the curtains. Emma groans, and buries her head in her pillow. 

 

“Mo-om!” She yells, her voice muffled from within the depths of her cushiony cave. 

 

“Oh motherhenclucker!” Snow curses (or what in her mind is a curse.) “Emma, darling, it’s snowing!” 

 

Pushing her head up from her bed, Emma notices with a slight smile, the snow covered tree branches that frame her window. “Hey, we should take Neal and Henry out for a sleigh ride.” 

 

Snow sighs, and element of longing in her voice. “That would be nice.” She muses, and observes the snow falling softly outside. Then she shakes her head “No, Emma, today’s your wedding day.” 

 

“Right.” Emma says, and she fails to mask the grumble in her tone. “I’m just- worried about, well, you know, after.” 

 

Snow’s face immediately falls. “The battle.” 

 

“Yeah.” Emma says softly, and bites her lip. “Sorry. Today, I’m going to make my family happy, and then I’ll go kick some bat’s ass.” 

 

Snow nods tremulously, and her eyes are full of compassion. Sitting down on the edge of the bed, she takes Emma’s hand. “Oh, Emma.” She whispers slightly, and hugs her daughter. “Today isn’t about making us happy, it’s about making you happy.” 

 

Emma smiles, but fights to keep the patronizing edge out of it. Today isn’t about her, not really. There was no way in hell that Emma would wear the wedding dress she’d been forced into if she didn’t currently have a death sentence.    
  
“Mom-” Emma begins, hesitantly. “Today isn’t about me.” 

  
“What do you mean?” 

 

Emma sighs. “Ever since I began having the flashbacks, and basically realised that I’m going to die- well-” She pauses, and runs a hand through her messy curls. “Mom, I’m not so sure I even want to marry Killian.” 

 

There’s a long silence. Then Snow grimaces. “Oh god, Emma. This is what I was afraid of.” 

 

“What?” Emma asks, and looks down at the sheets. “I mean, I guess I love Killian and all-” 

  
“You guess?” Snow’s tone has a sad note to it. “Emma, you never guess if you love someone when getting married. You either love them, or you don’t.” 

 

Emma knits her brows together, and clenches the white sheets in her fists. She can’t do this, not right now. “Mom, I don’t think I love Killian.” She blurts out, and then hangs her head. “Oh god, I’m sorry.” 

 

Snow smiles, and puts a hand under her daughter’s chin. “Don’t worry, Emma. It’s okay. We can just call off the wedding-” 

 

“What?” Emma’s high pitched squeak interrupts Snow’s sentence. “Mom, no.” 

 

Snow frowns. “But you just said-” 

 

“I just explained to you, I don’t love Killian. Not in a romantic sense, perhaps. Maybe I could have been, and one point. But the thing is,” Emma gives a frustrated huff. “Mom, I’m going to die today.” 

 

Snow shakes her head, and the hand holding Emma’s clenches tighter. “No, no, no, Emma. That’s not going to happen.” 

 

“Mom.” Emma says softly. Now it’s time to soothe Snow, because Emma’s had time to come to terms with her foretold death. “Mom, this is the Black Fairy we are talking about. Once I’m gone, go. Run, leave Storybrooke. I don’t care. She can’t reach you in the land without magic. You know I can’t run, because if I do, the Black Fairy will destroy the innocents in this town who don’t manage to escape.” 

 

“You’re going to survive.” Snow’s eyes have tears in them, but somewhere, there is understanding. “Emma, you’re the Saviour- you need to survive-” 

  
“No. I need to die. This is my destiny, Mom.” Emma says, grimly. “My sacrifice will weaken the Black Fairy, allowing you time to escape, along with the other people of Storybrooke, or maybe figure out a way to defeat her. Light magic is what can defeat her, you know that, right?” 

 

Snow nods, tightly. “Yes Emma. Which is why you can defeat her-” 

 

Emma wants to laugh. Sometimes being a Fairy-tale character didn’t bode well for Snow’s practicality. Of course, Emma had to concede, if it were Henry, she’d not be prepared for his death either. How could she tell her mother, in the most simple way possible that she just couldn’t expect her daughter to live beyond tomorrow?

  
“I was the Dark One.” Emma decides to say, quietly. “My magic isn’t pure and light anymore. It’s grey, and while that is enough to maybe severely injure the Black Fairy, it’s not enough to kill her.” 

 

There’s a stillness in the room, and all Emma can hear is her father pottering away downstairs, and Neal gurgling from his crib. Outside, the snow continues to fall, and Emma feels peaceful, almost. Excited, perhaps, not for the wedding, but to do this one last thing for her family, to see them all smiling. 

  
To see Regina smiling. She’d make sure that before she died she’d at least have one last smile out of the woman who she had spent so long trying to get over, and who she now knew she had always been in love with, despite her constant denial. One last snarky smile, and then Emma would be ready. 

 

“You love Regina.” Snow points out, and Emma rears back. 

 

“Wha- what? How- how did you know?” 

 

Snow chuckles, and her eyes observe her daughter who suddenly seems much more alert. “It’s rather obvious, darling. I think I began to realise it when you became the Dark One in order to save her.” 

 

“Yes. That.” Emma says with a cough. “That was probably one of the most idiotic but simultaneously romantic things I’ve ever done. And she didn’t even get it then, that I was in love with her!” Emma jokes, but the dismay in her voice stops it from garnering any humour. 

 

Snow’s eyes soften. “She does now. And she loves you back.” 

 

Emma looks away from her mother’s compassionate expression. “Mom, do you know how long it took for me to get over Regina?” 

 

“I can imagine pretty long since you still aren’t over her.” 

 

Emma grumbles, “Well, I suppose that could be argued. But the thing is, Mom- when I was the Dark One...Agh I can’t even explain it. All my emotions were heightened, and it took every fiber of my being not to rip Robin’s heart out and...well effectively take Regina for myself.” 

 

There’s no judgement in her mother’s eyes, and so Emma continues. “And when I realised how destructive this...this  _ love  _ I had for Regina, without her ever realising it, I- I decided to move on. And I do love Hook, in my own way. It’s just not the same as my love for Regina.” 

 

“I went to the Underworld, for Hook, Mom. And I thought I had put it all behind me, this thing. I couldn’t do it anymore. So I tried to move on. But then that goddamn kissing booth and all that fucking mistletoe-” Emma shakes her head. “The point is, my feelings resurfaced, and then suddenly Regina’s confessing her goddamn love for me, but it’s too late.” 

 

“Why is it too late?” Snow asks, gently. 

 

“Because I’m about to die, and I can’t rip apart a man who has done nothing but love me, or break Regina like that. Because even if I love her now, if only for a day, I’ll break her, Mom. And Henry’s going to need her. I can’t do that to her.” 

 

Snow shakes her head, and her eyes are so full of  _ hope,  _ of heroes and their happy endings. “No, Emma. I refuse to believe that you will die. Go, go now to Regina. Please Emma. Be happy.” There is nothing but encouragement from the Snow, no hatred or aversion towards the woman that once cursed her for 28 years. 

 

Fairy-tale moms, huh?

 

Emma looks at the wallpaper that covers the loft, and thinks about what could have been. But her mind is made up. “I can’t do that, Mom. Not to her, not to Killian, and not to myself.” 

 

“To yourself?” 

 

“Because I’m afraid I just might be selfish and run, just to preserve my own happy ending, Mom.” Emma says sadly, and pushes back the tears. “This is all so- so fucked up.” 

 

“I agree.” Snow says, solemnly, and bites her lip. “Emma what if you do survive and-” 

 

“I won’t,” Emma says darkly. “I’m not even going to hope, Mom. Please, don’t let me hope.” 

 

“But hope-” 

 

“Is not enough this time.” Emma pushes herself off the bed, and pastes on a smile. “Now Mom, let’s get me ready for my wedding day.” She smoothes the bed covers, and nods approvingly. “I’m sorry.” 

  
Snow watches as her daughter marches out of the room, and then whips out her cellphone. Dialling a number, she worries her lip with her teeth, nervous about the mistake her daughter is about to make. “Hello?” 

 

“Who’s calling?” 

 

Snow eyes the door determinedly. Despite the fact that her daughter might die today, Snow White, is first and foremost, a romantic, not a pragmatist-

 

(something which never boded well when it came to manic-Evil-Queens, but there you go it’s all working out now-)

 

And even if her daughter only gets to be with the woman she loves for a minute, a second, for Snow, that’s enough. 

 

“Zelena, I need your help.” 

 

***************

 

“Mom!” Emma yelps with a fierce sort of anger. “Mom- stop- no!” 

 

Snow looms over her daughter, a frightening look on her face. In her hand, she holds a hairbrush, and in the other, a hairdryer. “Emma, you know that this is the only way.” 

 

Emma whimpers slightly, and her hands scrabble for purchase against the hardwood floors of the wedding suite that they’re currently residing in. “But I don’t want to do this. I can’t do this.” 

 

Another step forward, and Snow is right by Emma side. “Your hair must be styled.” 

 

Emma cringes as the hairbrush and hairdryer descend on her wet curls, wincing at every tug and pull at the snarls embedded in her hair. “Can’t you just leave it down?” 

 

Snow laughs. Then her face straightens. “Oh, you weren’t joking.” 

 

“Uh, no!” 

 

Snow sighs, the patronizing look of ‘I’m freaking Snow White I know best’ already on her face. “Darling, if we lived in the Enchanted Forest, your hair would have been attacked like this every time we had a ball or some kind of royal event. So practically every few weeks.” 

 

Emma pales. “Looks like that curse did me some favours.” She frowns, and there is a pause, all that can be heard is the rhythmic pull and tug of Snow’s brush in Emma’s stubborn hair. “Speaking of curses, where’s Regina?” 

 

Her mother doesn’t answer for a bit, instead turning on the hairdryer and the trepidation in Emma’s chest begins to grow. “Mom?” She asks, sternly. “Where’s Regina?” 

 

Somewhere above the massive bun that has become Emma’s hair, Snow answers. “She’s- she’s not feeling too well, apparently. Last I heard she was puking her insides out. So I don’t think that she’s going to be able to make it.” 

  
Emma stiffens. Of course it’s a lie, both she and Snow know it. “But she’s my maid of Honor.” Emma says softly, and her fists clench in the massive dress that she now has on. “She’s supposed to be here.” 

 

“Emma, I’m sorry.” Snow says, sympathy evident in her voice. “But sometimes things don’t always work out the way you want them too.” 

 

Fighting to keep the tears at bay, Emma mutters, “Excuse me.” 

 

Rushing past Henry, who has just come in, Emma slams the door to the bathroom, and heaves a long, shaky breath. “Oh god oh god oh god.” She mutters, and to her horror, feels tears leak down her cheeks. “Nope. Not going to cry.” 

 

But she does. Melting into a cream-and-tulle puddle on the ground, Emma cries, not caring about the fact that her black mascara tears are dangerously close to dripping on the massive wedding dress that is spread around her. She doesn’t know why she’s so sad; in fact, she really should have expected it. Regina had admitted that she was in love with Emma, and Emma had dismissed it, disregarded Regina’s feelings. And ironically, the reason why Emma was even getting married to Killian in the first place, was to make everyone happy. 

 

Yeah, that had backfired spectacularly. 

 

Through her sobs, Emma chuckles weakly. What was this really? Why was she marrying someone she wasn’t in love with? 

 

But what really was the point? Today was the day she was destined to die. 

 

So Emma wipes her tears, her mind still whirling. Opening the door, feeling the cool metal of the doorknob, she is greeted with the sight of Henry and Snow, both sitting awkwardly on the sofa on the other side of the room. 

 

“Dammit.” Emma curses. “I forgot to turn on the shower.” 

 

“It wouldn’t really have worked anyway.” Henry says, in an attempt to console his mother in her failure to cover up her sobs. “No one would have believed that you were showering.” 

 

Emma grumbles. “Yeah but now you all heard me sob like a baby.” 

 

“I sent Ruby and Lily out when they came in, so I don’t think they heard you.” Snow offers helpfully. “Emma we can still cancel-” 

  
“No.” Emma says, determined. “Let’s go.” 

 

“Uh- wait.” Snow says, and reaches out an arm. “Your mascara is-” She gives Emma a mirror whose eyes widen at the sight of the massive panda eyes on her face. 

 

“Oh god, quick quick!” Snow yells, grabbing some makeup wipes as both of them hurry to fix the disaster that had become Emma’s makeup. 

 

Neither of them notice Henry slip quickly out of the door.

 

*************

 

Regina, Henry, Zelena and Robyn arrive outside the wedding hall with a puff of purple magic. “We’re here.” Regina says, and the nerves in her voice are clear. “So….I just...pop in for a quick chat then?” 

 

Zelena smiles slyly. “I say you make an entrance.” 

 

Snow crunching under her feet, Regina twists her lips at the irony of her situation. Who had thought that thirty years ago, the Evil Queen would once again storm another Charming wedding, but for a completely different purpose? Nevertheless, Regina inhales deeply, and her eyes are alight with anxiety, but also a strange kind of excitement. “Well, if there’s one thing I’m good at, it’s making an entrance.” 

 

“Good luck, Mom.” Henry says, and turns to Zelena. “We’ll just wait out here then.” 

 

“You...you do that.” Regina says, and squaring her shoulders, marches up to the door. From within, she can hear the droning of a priest. Regina’s mind flashes back to a different church, in a different reality, and smiles. Now is her chance to get this right. 

 

_ “Speak now, or forever hold your peace….”  _

 

That’s her cue. 

 

Flinging open the doors with a large blast of magic, Regina enters the hall, a complete silence apart from a collective intake of breath taking over. 

 

Emma’s at the altar, and her eyes alight with something- is it hope? She’s dressed in the most un-Emma-Swan wedding dress that Regina could ever imagine, all lace, and tulle, and her hair is done in an intricate bun. But she’s beautiful, and Regina’s breath is momentarily lost as she stares at the blonde, the feeling in her chest becoming a ball of nerves and love all at the same time. 

 

_ Dammit.  _ Regina curses.  _ All these years of being an Evil Queen, and then I fall in love with the Savior- and suddenly- poof! I’m Snow White incarnate when it comes to love.  _

 

Captain Guyliner on the other hand, is staring at her with such ferocity that Regina wonders if he might be trying to incinerate her with his eyes.  _No dear, that's my speciality._

 

But she's got a reputation to uphold. She's Regina Mills, after all. 

 

So Regina smirks, looks at Emma and says, 

 

“Sorry I’m late.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so the next chapter will include a huge romantic speech, lots of SwanQueen goodness, and the downfall of a certain pirate. And also, please don't be too hard on Emma! There's been a lot of stuff going on for her, including a rather final sounding battle challenge.


	11. In which Regina makes a speech

 Zelena and Henry stand nervously outside the wedding hall, scuffing their shoes on the snow. 

 

“So…” Zelena says, nibbling her lip. 

 

“So….” Henry begins, and then sighs. “What if this doesn’t work out?” 

 

This earns him a slap on the head from his Aunt. “Rule one of being a manipulative master, Henry, you never doubt your cause.” She scowls. “Which you already did, but do it again and you’ll be on babysitting duty for a week because Mama needs her some free time.” She coos at Robyn. 

 

Henry’s eyes go wide. “Okay, won’t doubt the cause again got it.” Because even though Henry loves his cousin, Robyn can be an absolute terror, despite her young age. He then strains his head closer towards the door. “Can you hear anything?” 

 

Just at that moment, a large gasp is heard, and Zelena squints her eyes. “Okay, so in my knowledge of the gasp language, that was either, my-pet-dog-just-ate-my-delicious-fajita or somethings-going-on-and-it’s-shocking.” 

 

“Aren’t those two sort of the same thing?” 

 

Zelena sniffs. “Well, looks like we’ve got another biased gasp-disbeliever. I’ll have you know that the language of gasps is one of the most intricate and delicate languages of them all-” 

 

Zelena is cut off by another gasp, and she opens her mouth. “Okay, that gasp was far too large to be anything good.” 

  
Henry looks at Zelena nervously. “Auntie Zel, I don’t wanna move to Tibet!” 

 

“Don’t worry, I’ve got a plan.” Zelena says with a wink. “If Emma doesn’t choose Regina, then as soon as they come out of the wedding hall, I am transporting them into….hmm a closet? There would be a nice metaphor there.” She wiggles her eyebrows. 

 

Henry furrows his brows. “No, I suggest some more mistletoe, you know, to show Emma what she’s missing.” 

 

“Ooo nice one, protege.” 

 

“Thanks.” 

 

“What about transporting them to the Jolly Roger and then casting them off to sea for a few days?” 

 

“Oh that would be good. Only- magic.” 

 

“Magic inhibitors, my little nephew. They would be forced to be around each other for at least a week, if my calculations are correct, and if time on that rotting old piece of driftwood isn’t enough to drive someone into another's arms, then I don’t know what is. Also gives Emma a chance to see who she’s really with. A smelly old fish.” 

 

“That’s evil.” 

 

“No, it’s wicked.” 

 

Henry grins. “But, if all goes well, then we won’t need that, right?” 

 

Zelena’s face twists into one of disappointment. “I suppose….” 

 

Henry nudges closer to the door. “I think I hear something.” 

 

The door bursts open. 

 

**************

There is an odd silence, as though the crowd were waiting for the punchline of Regina’s joke, that no, she wasn’t bursting in to cast another curse. 

 

So Regina decides to indulge the wedding crowd, and reassure them. “Don’t worry,” She says, wryly. “I’m not about to cast another curse and ruin another Charming wedding with that declaration.” 

 

You could hear a pin drop, but Regina doesn’t allow that to faze her. Instead, she scopes out the scene she’s walked into. First, there’s Snow, eyes wide, but oddly enough looking extremely happy. Secondly, Charming, the fool that Regina has become fond of, is looking at her as though she just killed his puppy. The dwarves, of course, look angry, but then they always do when Regina’s around. Ruby looks devilishly excited, squeezing Dorothy’s hand and whispering something in her ear. 

 

The silence continues, and Regina sneaks a glance up at Killian, whose mouth is working furiously, with his face turning more and more red by the second. He can’t seem to get his words out, so Regina sighs, and begins. 

  
“Right. So, I- I just made my dramatic entrance.” She gestures to the door behind her. “Exciting, right?” 

 

No one says anything, and Regina refuses to let the nervousness and embarrassment she is feeling spread across her face.

 

“Emma.” She looks at the blonde, who is clutching Killian’s hand like a lifeline, pale as her dress. “You told me to fight for you. So, I’m going to fight.” 

 

Emma looks even more terrified at the prospect, and if this weren’t such a nerve wracking situation, Regina would laugh. Instead, she speaks, in front of a large crowd, in a way she’s never done before. 

 

“My sister has been planning this, you know.” Regina says, with a small chuckle. “And, well, I’d say it’s worked out. Because, Emma, I’ve been in love with you for years. I didn’t realise it until recently, because I’m a fool, but there you have it. ” 

 

A large gasp echoes around the room, the entire wedding party inhaling at once at Regina’s confession.

 

“Yes, yes, I know, shocking, the Evil Queen in love with the Savior, what a scandal.” Regina says, bored with the melodrama that this town loves. “But it’s true. And Emma, if you want me to list all the ways I love you-” 

 

“No!” The pirate suddenly blurts out, seemingly have regained control of his mouth. “Regina, you should go. This is our wedding, and I don’t know what the hell you’re thinking, coming in here and saying that. Emma and I love each other- you’re- you’re  _ delusional  _ if you think she’d ever love  _ you _ . You’re the Evil Queen-” 

  
“Stop.” 

 

It’s Emma, halting Hook’s rant, just as the words had begun to finally hit home. Regina breathes a small sigh of relief. She watches Emma, who is now expressionless, apart from a slight glimmer in her eyes. 

 

“Let her….let her continue.” Emma says softly, and Hook gapes at her, and another gasp emits from the crowd. 

 

Regina smiles, and for the first time in five decades, she spouts a speech about love, not having done that since a fateful night in a stable, speaking urgently to a young raven haired girl. 

 

“Your parents are Snow White and Prince Charming.” Regina continues, and she becomes younger, more hopeful as she speaks. “ And I’m a reformed ex-Evil Queen, who has a penchant for fireballs. I know it would be hard to love me, Emma, but even if you don’t chose me, even if you marry Handless Wonder over there, I want you to know that I’ll always love you. In whatever way you want me to. As a best friend, the other mother of our child, even as your former nemesis. I’ll love you in anyway you want, because you’re  _ Emma Swan _ , and you’re the clumsiest idiot I’ve ever seen, I’ll love you because you eat bear claws at three in the morning- yes I know about those,” She teases lightly, when Emma flushes slightly. 

 

Regina takes a deep breath, and continues. She’s completely going against everything in her body, talking like this in front of a bunch of fairy tale characters she cursed once upon a time, but if that’s what it took to be able to love Emma freely, then that’s what she would do. 

 

“I’ll love you because you put your feet up on the table even though I ask you not to, and you do it anyway just to annoy me. I’ll love you because you sometimes write your Sheriff’s reports in crayon because you want to irritate me. I’ll love you because you are the most beautiful person I have ever known.” 

  
At this point, Hook growls, but Regina stands her ground, not budging an inch when Emma puts a hand in front of the pirate to stop him from moving, her eyes focusing on Regina with a laser-like focus. “Go- go on.” The blonde says hoarsely. “Please.” 

 

Regina looks at her shyly. “I could go on forever.” And so she carries on. 

 

“I’ll love you because you gave me Henry, and you believed in me despite everything. I’ll love you because of that stupid red leather jacket that you insist on wearing even though it’s ten years old and smells of smoke and the insides of that horrible yellow contraption. I’ll love you because you aren’t a pretentious fairy tale character like everyone in this town, but because you’re real, like no one I’ve ever known.” 

 

Emma starts forward slightly, and her face is open, and Regina can _see_ her. “I’ll love you because you are funny, and goofy, and kind and sweet and absolutely and utterly _insufferable_.” Emma releases Hook’s hand, and moves forward, the pirate fumbling slightly at the loss of her grip. “I’ll love you because you argue with me like no one ever has and it’s a challenge _._ I’ll love you even if you continue eating all that greasy fried food from Granny's” Regina glances to her left and notices Granny giving her the stink eye, so she adds, “Which is amazing so I don’t fault you on that.” A begrudging- but fond nod from Granny later, Regina carries on. “ I’ll love you because you make me cry, and you make me laugh, you make me _so so_ angry and you make me want to kiss-” 

 

“Shut up.” Emma says, and there are tears down her face, and is she smiling? And she lunges at Regina- who for a second thinks Emma’s about to slap her or something, but then their lips meet, and there’s another, smaller gasp, and then some murmuring from the crowd, but Regina couldn’t care less, because she’s kissing  _ Emma.  _ For the first time, she’s really  _ kissing  _ her, not in some smelly booth or wrapped in mistletoe, or as a goodbye but  _ kissing Emma Swan.  _ And it’s fucking bliss. 

 

She can feel Emma’s tears, mixing with her own, and the grin that’s curving up both their mouths, until finally they have to part because they’re both smiling so widely. Emma is grinning, and her eyes are alight. At some point, Regina must have brought her hands up into Emma’s hair, because the bun has fallen, leaving Emma’s curls wild around her shoulders, just the way Regina likes it. 

 

“So.” Emma says, still smiling, and the tears stopping. 

 

“So.” Regina says with a sniff and small smile of her own, wiping away the wetness in her eyes. Her arms go back around Emma’s waist, unwilling to let go. 

 

All around them people are talking, but Regina doesn’t care, because Emma’s looking at her in a way they’ve never been allowed to before. 

 

Emma takes a deep breath, and threads her hands through Regina’s hair. “I love you, Regina Mills. I love you so, so much.” 

 

“ And I’ve been really stupid.” Emma adds shakily, and presses another kiss to Regina’s mouth. “And I’m truly sorry for that.” Another kiss, again and again, desperately. 

  
Regina holds Emma closer to her, and leans her forehead against Emma, before snickering slightly. “Finally, something we can agree on.” 

 

Emma groans. “I’m an idiot.” She says, but there is a serene quality to her tone, as she gazes into Regina’s eyes, a smile playing on her lips. “I admit it, I’m an idiot.” 

 

The people around them fade, and all Regina can see is Emma, Emma who is holding her just as tightly, who is beaming at her with the world in her eyes. “Yes, but you're my idiot.” 

 

“Your idiot.” Emma echoes, a wider grin curling at her lips. “I like that.” 

 

“Emma?” The pirate’s voice sounds from the altar behind them, and Regina feels the slightest pang of guilt go through her. Only a slight pang of guilt, before it disappears and Regina feels immense satisfaction at the pirate’s slumped shoulders and heartbroken face. 

 

Emma tears her eyes away from Regina for a second, her grin faltering as she looks at her (ex? former?) fiancee, and pauses, before saying, “You just aren’t- you aren’t-” 

 

“Her.” He finishes, and  _ finally _ there’s some understanding in his tone. But quickly, it turns to the kind of rage that only jilted lovers have, and he starts towards Regina, before hesitantly stopping on the stairs as Emma makes a protective gesture towards Regina. So instead, he snarls, “You bitch.” 

 

Regina shrugs. “I said I was an ex-Evil  _ Queen _ . Never said anything about giving up the evil side of it all.” She bares her teeth at him darkly.  _ That’s what you get, you slimy piece of driftwood.  _

 

“Emma, please don’t leave me.” He whispers again, a desperate man drowning in denial, as though the previous look of understanding hadn’t flashed in his eyes “Emma I love you too, surely you must see that.” 

 

“I do.” Emma says, contritely. “But love is love, and I’m not going to allow my  _ death _ be rooted in a lie, Killian. I’ve known for a long time now, that we just- we aren’t- I’m so sorry.”

 

Then she turns to Regina, her back firmly on Hook, who has slumped on the stairs of the altar, utterly defeated. The blonde doesn’t look back. 

 

“Shall we?” Emma says taking Regina’s hand, and suddenly she’s there again, the Emma that Regina knows and fell in love with. Her eyes twinkle with a light that hasn’t been present for months, and her shoulders pull backwards, the swagger that Regina used to despise (and then began to dearly miss) in her former nemesis returning with a vengeance. 

 

“Glad to see your still there,  _ Ms. Swan _ .” Regina replies softly, and trails a finger down Emma’s face, delighting in the way she shivers. “Now let’s go before your father has an aneurysm, and Leroy accuses me of casting some kind of curse on you.” 

 

The murmurs have only increased, and Regina can sense that unless they leave soon, they will be bombarded with unnecessary questions. 

 

“Okay.” Emma says, and she’s grinning again. “Okay. Let’s go.” 

 

They walk out the door, Emma’s dress swishing against Regina’s leg, their hands firmly clasped together. And in that moment, Regina  _ knows _ that they can defeat anything. 

 

*************

 

The oak doors bang wide open, and Emma can hear the rustling of the crowd behind her, the angry whispers. She can even  _ sense  _ her father, going to stand beside Hook. Everything is so clear, clearer than it has been since she became the Dark One, and that whole mess with Killian began. Now, she has Regina’s hand in her own, and everything is perfect. The doors shut behind them with a relieving  _ clang  _ and the entire of Storybrooke is finally out of the way. 

 

“You did it!” Henry breathes a sigh of relief as his two mothers crunch their way through the snow. “You actually did it!” 

 

“Well don’t look so surprised, dear. Like I said, I can seduce  _ anyone. _ And I got you to choose me thanks to my wonderful orator skills. ” Regina says with a smirk, and sqeezes Emma’s hand. 

 

Snorting, Emma says, “Oh please. I chose you the minute you came in that door.” 

 

A stunned expression takes over Regina’s face, before fading into warm indignation. “Wait, let me get this straight. You let me blabber away like an idiot for five minutes, which completely _ruined_ my fearsome image?” 

 

Emma lifts a shoulder in a half shrug. “I was standing at the altar in my wedding dress, Regina. I wanted to see what you had.” 

 

Regina mock glares at her. “And they call me the Evil Queen.” 

  
Henry rushes towards his two mothers, a grin on his face, and slams into them, hugging them both tightly. “I knew it would work.” Henry says, twisting his head back to look at a very smug Zelena. 

 

“What would work?” Emma asks, a confused look on her face. “Wait- Henry-” 

  
“Yes, yes, I take full responsibility, along with my young protege here.” Zelena says, with a toss of her hair. “Robyn helped of course, but it was really Henry who nagged me into parent trapping you two together.” 

  
Emma’s mouth hangs open. “So it was you two this whole time? The mistletoe?” 

 

“And the kissing booth.” Zelena says with a wink. 

 

Regina sighs. “Trust me, I was just as shocked as you were when I found out.” She plants a kiss on Henry’s head. “But I can’t be angry.” 

Emma blushes. “Well, in that case, neither can I.” She brushes Regina’s hair away from her face with a shy smile. 

 

Henry stagger back dramatically, a hand on his forehead. “And thus, it has begun.” He moans, placing his head on Zelena’s shoulder. “My two mothers have cemented their torment of me with lovey dovey scenes.” 

 

Regina raises an eyebrow. “Well, it is your fault dear.” Grinning deviously, she grabs Emma, and plants a large kiss on her mouth. 

 

Emma shrieks slightly with surprise, but melts into the kiss, and Henry goes an odd color. “Oh god.” 

 

Zelena just eyes them, a satisfied look on her face. “Normally, I’d be revolted seeing my younger sister make out like a teenager, but you know what? I’m just going to view them as a piece of art- one that I created. Helps me view them objectively.” Robyn waves her hands, and makes a gurgling noise. “Yes, my little green bean, we did do well didn’t we!” 

 

There’s a bubble of peace around the five of them, closed off from the rest of Storybrooke, literally all of whom are still sitting in the wedding hall. Muffled noises emit from the hall, obviously Snow and David attempting to calm either Hook or the town down, but at that moment, nobody can care. 

 

Until, that is, a large explosion rocks the ground. 

 

Emma and Regina break away with a gasp, and Regina clutches Emma’s waist. “The Black Fairy.” She murmurs, and Emma’s face tightens. 

  
“It’s time then.” Waving her hands, Emma’s dress melts away, and instead it is replaced with a familiar red leather jacket and trustworthy jeans. “Let’s go.” 

 

Emma starts forward, intent on going to the Main Street, but Regina desperately grabs her hand. “No.” She says, desperation laced in the fiber of the word. “Emma, no.” 

 

Emma smiles sadly. “I have to.” 

 

“I’m coming with.” Regina says, eyes boring into Emma’s. 

 

“I know.” 

 

Regina turns to her son and her sister. “Henry, go home. Zelena, make sure he stays safe. The Black Fairy may try and use him to get to Emma again.” 

 

Henry moves forward, protest evident on his face. “No, Mom-” 

 

Emma places a hand on her son’s shoulder. “Henry, please.” Her face screws up, in an attempt not to let any tears fall. “Henry, I love you. I love you so, so much. Be good, okay?” 

Henry gasps slightly, and hugs his mother tightly, burying his face in her shoulder. “I love you Ma. You can do this.” 

 

Placing a soft kiss on Henry’s forehead, Emma slowly disentangles them. “Love you kid.” 

 

Regina moves forward, and hugs her son as well. “Go.” She whispers, and then turns to Emma. “Are you ready?” 

 

“Yes.” 

 

They move forward, hands clasped tightly together- when suddenly the doors open and Snow and Charming rush out, Hook behind them. “What was that?” Snow asks breathlessly. 

 

“The Black Fairy.” Emma says tightly, avoiding eye contact with Hook who is lurking behind the Charming's, eyes focused on Regina and Emma’s entwined hands. “I’m going now.” 

 

“We’re coming with.” David says, and there’s no room for argument. Emma nods, and turns to Regina, exchanging a glance that nobody but them can interpret.    
  
“Okay. Let’s go.” Regina says, and they begin towards Main Street, Hook trailing after the foursome, like a lost puppy. The entire way, Regina fights the urge to wave her hands and take Emma someplace safe- but no. This is Emma’s destiny, and Regina has to let her go, otherwise they sacrifice god knows how many other’s safety. 

 

The Black Fairy is standing between two overturned cars when they arrive- fire’s rage around them. 

 

“Well someone decided to take their time.” She says with a sniff. “Now, are your ready, Savior?” She launches a ball of energy at Emma, who blocks it with a wave of her hands. 

 

She turns to Regina. “Take care of Henry, alright?” She says with a hoarse whisper. 

 

Regina shakes her head. “No.  _ We’ll  _ take care of Henry. Fight. Please.” 

 

Emma shrugs, a takes a deep, deep breath. “Okay.” 

 

Then she turns towards the Black Fairy, and unleashes a wave of magic. 


	12. In which there is a battle, a middle and an ending

The Black Fairy is deadly- whirling and striking. She’s a ballet dancer, twirling on the edge of the disaster she incurs with every wave of her finger. 

 

But Emma is a wrecking ball, and she forces the fairy to step delicately. 

 

Regina is currently protecting the entourage of Charmings plus one pirate mascot from any flying debris that is caused in the fight; her own face determined, yet pale with fear. Everyone watches with bated breath from within the protective barrier that Regina has created, as the Black Fairy sends a car towards Emma with a sweeping hand gesture. 

 

However, Emma blocks it with her own, the car disintegrating to dust as it nears the blonde. 

 

“Leroy won’t like that.” Snow mutters, eyeing the pile of dust that was once a Toyota. “He spent a long time saving up for that.” 

 

“The Mayor's office will reimburse him to the fullest.” Regina snaps, irritated. “Now can we worry less about Leroy and more about Emma?” 

 

David places a hand on Regina’s shoulder. “We all are. But it looks like-” Emma sends a blast of magic at the Fairy, who flies back with an annoyed look. “She’s got this under control.” 

 

“Doesn’t stop me from worrying.” Regina grumbles. 

 

“Doesn’t stop any of us from worrying.” Hook pipes up from where he has been glaring lasers into Regina’s back. “Just because of her odd and  _ sudden  _ infatuation with you doesn’t stop Emma from being the most important person in my life, Regina. And trust me, once this is over, I intend to put an end to- whatever you convinced her to go along with.” 

 

Snow and Charming turn towards Hook in one motion. “Killian-” Charming begins, and there’s a pitying look on his face. “I don’t think-”

 

“Now is not the time to be arguing about Emma’s love, Captain Guyliner.” Regina growls, her eyes still fixated on the fight, tracking every movement. “So please, keep your comments to yourself for the time being.” 

 

Hook just scowls, and crosses his arms. There’s a glint in his eye that Regina doesn’t like, but this switches her attention away from the protective shield she’s enacted, and it jolts, about to fall due to her lack of attention. Regina thrusts her hands out, streams of magic erupting from her palms, and the sparking barrier is stabilized once again. 

 

“Just- everyone, shut up.” Regina growls, her brow creasing as she attempts to keep the barrier up while focusing on Emma. The magical atmosphere is so rich that it’s hard for Regina to keep up a protective spell in such a negative zone- it is only because she is a bystander rather than a participator in the fight that she is able to keep the barrier up. 

 

“Come on!” Emma yells at the fairy. “Is that all you’ve got?” Something sparkles in her hand, and a blade appears- the one that Emma is destined to die by. 

 

“No- Emma-” Regina murmurs, seeing the sword. But Emma doesn’t hear her, of course, and whirls into battle with the Black Fairy who has conjured her own sword, their blades clanging against the others in a frantic battle for control. 

 

“What?” Snow asks, and her face drops. “Regina, what is it?” 

 

“Emma’s being an idiot.” Regina mutters through clenched teeth. “She knows she’s going to die by that sword, and yet she’s using it in a fight she can be easily disarmed in.” 

 

Charming starts forward, but Regina shakes her head. “You can’t. You’ll just end up making things worse. One never interferes with destiny, Charming,” And there’s something broken in her tone. “I should know.” 

 

There’s a moment of silence, and Regina can hear her own heart beating over the clashing of the swords. Then Hook speaks. 

 

“Well, you’d know all about interfering with destiny, wouldn’t you?” He says, snidely, and the look on his face could only be described as a pout. 

 

Twisting her head around, Regina glares at the pirate. “Oh stop being such a bitch, Hook.” 

 

The pirate looks extremely affronted. “Excuse me? I am a  _ bastard,  _ not a bitch, Regina. Get it right.” 

 

“I think you just insulted yourself,” Charming says, and even he looks slightly quizzical. “Why don’t you- why don’t you go home, Hook.” 

 

Killian crosses his arms once again, and his eyes focus on the fight ahead. “No. Emma’s my true love, and no matter what she thinks she wants, I will be there for her.” 

 

Regina closes her eyes in an attempt to regulate her breathing. Now is not the time to waste precious energy on ejecting Killian out of the bubble and into the sky, preferably with a ticking bomb tied to his ass. 

 

Snow opens her mouth to gently let Hook down- but then time slows, and Regina can only watch as Emma loses her balance. One little stumble, a slight slipping of her feet- and the Black Fairy disarms her, Emma’s sword landing neatly in her palm, and is directly pointed at her neck. She doesn’t swing, because the nasty grin on her face indicates she intends to draw this out. 

 

“NO!” Regina screams, and the barrier fizzles and dies out. She runs, evading the grasping hands of Snow and Charming (and, she was pretty sure, a rather malicious  _ hook)  _ towards Emma, energy brimming at her fingertips. 

 

“Stop.” Emma whispers, when Regina is a few feet away from her. “Stop, Regina.” One hand is swung out, facing the brunette in a ‘halt’ manner, but Emma is looking at  the Black Fairy, so Regina only hears her voice. 

 

Emma’s  _ terrified.  _

 

Emma doesn’t get terrified. Perhaps, she’s shown fear, on occasion, fear mixed in with grief, and anger. Mostly, it’s a brash sort of injustice that she shows, always fighting for the future. But now Emma’s terrified because this is it, and she’s about to die, and Regina can feel her own heart beating with Emma’s, in a  _ thump thump thump  _ rhythm, each heartbeat spelling out the words that they’ve only managed to say to each other a handful of times. 

 

“Emma I love you.” Regina says tearfully, as the Black Fairy snarls with glee. “I love you.” 

 

“I love you too.” Emma says, and she swings around, her back facing the Black Fairy. Her eyes are wide, and her chest is heaving, and so Regina can’t help it, she throws out her hands to let out a blast of magic only- 

 

Nothing happens. A short stream of purple light, and then it fizzles out. Regina shakes her hands frustrated, and nothing happens. The Black Fairy grins from her position behind Emma’s back, sword still aimed at a place that will kill Emma in an instant. 

 

“Really didn’t think I would allow you to perform magic here, now did you?” 

 

And then Regina gets it. Because the Black Fairy has been toying with them all this time. She could have stopped Regina’s protective barrier, even Emma’s magic, and killed her. But she wanted it to be drawn out, painful. She wanted Emma to find happiness, and then, in the last moment, rip it away from her with glee. 

 

“Now you’re getting it.” The Black Fairy says with a giggle, watching understanding flash through Regina’s eyes. 

 

“Please.” Regina says in a whisper, eyes fixated still on Emma who is shaking her head. “Please.” 

 

“I though Evil Queens didn’t beg?” The fairy says with a mocking grin, which quickly turns into an insane frown. “I don’t like that you are so weak, Regina.”    
  
Regina feels the paralysing fear go down her spine, as familiar words reach her ears. “Love makes you weak, does it not?” The fairy says, and her arm tenses, ready to plunge the sword. “Funny that you never learned that lesson.” 

 

Regina cries out, her arms stretched forward as the Black Fairy plunges the sword into Emma’s back, and moves it down, shredding Emma’s insides. It’s visceral, and bloody, and for some reason Regina thought that Emma would go in a less painful way? She’s the Saviour, doesn’t she deserve cleanliness, and perfection? 

 

But Emma screams, and she isn’t the brave woman that has saved Regina countless times. She yells, and there is so much  _ pain  _ in her voice, and Regina catches her as she falls, her own tears mingling in with the blood in the air. 

 

“That was fun.” The Black Fairy says with a giggle, and then disappears suddenly, no sound. One moment she’s there, and the next, she isn’t. 

 

Regina is still holding Emma in her arms, the blood flowing onto her white shirt, and Regina can only imagine how the two of them must look, embracing amidst carnage and blood flow. It’s reminiscent of her Evil Queen days, and all Regina can do as she watches the life flow out of Emma is think, absently, how once upon her time her hands would have been glowing, trying to save the person she loved. 

 

She hadn’t been able to do that with Daniel. 

  
But maybe she could do that with Emma. 

 

Snow and Charming are clamouring on either side of them, but everything is fog in Regina’s ears as she lays Emma down gently on the tarmac. Then with a deep breath, ignoring the babbling going on around her, thrusts her hands forward, her whole self flowing into the wound, trying to stop it, trying to stop the horrible red that’s staining Emma’s long blonde hair. 

 

“Shush.” Regina says, as Emma croaks something, her pale hands scrabbling frantically against Regina’s olive toned ones. “I’m going to heal you, Emma.” 

 

She can’t hear anything, nothing- but then- 

 

Emma’s hand comes and rests on Regina’s cheek, and Regina can  _ feel  _ the blood, sliding down her cheek, in a gory imitation of Emma’s fingers. 

 

She gasps, and her hands stop glowing, and suddenly she’s aware that her whole body is shaking, and there are tears pouring down her cheeks, and _ why  _ does her head hurt like it’s just been smashed into pieces? 

 

“Regina.” Emma says, licking her lips. “Regina please.” 

 

“Let me heal you.” Regina begs, her hands itching to start again. “Let me do this.” 

 

“No.” Emma says, and she still has that fire in her eyes, despite the obvious agony she’s in. “Henry needs you, Regina. You’re his  _ mother.”  _

 

“So- so are you.” Regina says, and then she bows her head, gathering Emma’s body so that it’s lying on her lap, and her tears are falling on Emma’s neck. 

 

“I love you.” Emma says quietly, her eyes boring into Regina’s. “I love you.” 

Regina’s about to reply- when suddenly a rough hand is on her shoulder.  _ Hook.  _

 

“Emma?” His voice is high and frantic. “Emma, love, what’s wrong?” 

  
Despite the pain that Emma’s in, she still manages to roll her eyes, something that makes Regina choke on the laughter that bubbles up in her throat. 

 

“I’m dying, Killian.” 

 

“Oh.” Hook says, and he’s incredibly pale. “No. No- that’s not supposed to happen.” He kneels down on the other side of Emma. “Here, I’ll kiss you- it’ll all go away-” 

 

He lowers his lips towards Emma, who jerks away, howling in pain as the gory mess that is her stomach jolts. “Stop!” Regina says, and pushes Hook back forcefully. “You aren’t her true love!” 

 

Hook’s eyes are wide and desperate. Despite everything, despite the fact that Regina hates his guts, he loves Emma, and he kneels, down on the tarmac, in shock. “And I suppose you are.” He mutters, and doesn’t look up. 

 

“No, I never claimed to be.” Regina says softly, and nudges back a stray blonde wisp from Emma’s head. She brings a bloody hand up to her mouth, and closes her eyes for a minute, wishing that she could save Emma. 

 

Emma’s slipping away, and her parents are by her head, whispering in her ear, their own arms cuddled around her. Everyone’s with her, and Emma’s breathing is slowly fading. Regina cups Emma’s face in her hands, and her tears fall on Emma’s nose, rolling down with Emma’s own. 

  
“I’m sorry.” She whispers, and presses her forehead against Emma’s. “I’m sorry.” 

 

“I love you.” Emma says, and her body shakes slightly. “Just think of all the time we could have- have had if I hadn’t been…..if I hadn’t been such an idiot.” 

 

“My idiot.” Regina says softly. “Emma, please hold on-”

 

“Thanks for fighting for me.” Emma breathes. Then her eyes slide shut, lazily. 

 

And she’s gone. 

 

It’s not like some last dying wish, a huge declaration of love. Just a goodbye. 

 

“Emma?” Snow’s shaking her daughter’s shoulders. “Emma!” Regina presses her lips to the hand she’s holding, now limp in her grasp, and the little makeshift family on the tarmac tremble with united grief, each showing it in a different way. 

 

Charming’s raging, his eyes turned up towards the sky, fists punching at invisible enemies, as he mourns the loss of his princess, his little girl, the babe that he carried in his arms to safety so long ago. Only now, it wasn’t enough. The pirate, on the other hand, is slumped against the curb of the sidewalk, eyes staring at nothing, hook dangling limply from his ineffectual arm. 

 

It’s only Snow and Regina that are still holding Emma, and Regina wants to do something as she watches Snow calmly reorganise Emma’s hair back from her face, eyes dry. Pressing her lips to Emma’s forehead, Snow turns to Regina, and her eyes are burning. 

“Kiss her.” She orders, and Regina jolts out of the reverie she’s slipped in and out of, ever since Emma was stabbed. “You kiss her right now.” 

 

“Snow….” Regina says gently, because right now Snow is mourning the loss of a child, something Regina can emphasise with. There is nothing worse, and her own grief will not take precedence, not right now. Her own tears have dried on her face, and right now, she is numb. Nothing flickers, and all that comes out is fake words that are meant to soothe. 

 

“You could be her true love. She- she loves you. You love her.” Snow says, and still, no tears have fallen from her eyes. “So kiss her. Do it. You owe me, Regina. Save my baby girl, when you took her away the last time.” 

  
Regina feels the sharp blade of guilt enter her chest, crowding with the empty feeling of misery that has only just begun to take over the numbness. “I’m sorry.” She whispers. 

  
“Do it!” Snow all but roars, and so Regina, not allowing herself to hope, bends down. She’s hoped before, when a stable boy needed another heart and she had given a piece of hers, willingly, and naively setting herself up for failure. She can’t endure another heartbreak like that, not again. 

 

And Emma. Emma who she loves beyond all reason, who she only just told she loved her, who she will never see smile or jibe at her again. 

 

So the Evil Queen presses her lips to the Saviours, and as she does so, the tiniest, smallest, miniscule piece of hope enters her heart, and it’s enough. 

 

A spark lights as the two lips meet, and green eyes fly open, and skin stitches itself back together again. 

 

Regina doesn’t feel it, doesn’t allow herself to, so when she opens her eyes to see green ones staring back, she yelps. 

 

“Emma?” 

  
“Even you can’t get rid of me that easily.” Emma says with a wink, and groans, hand placed on her stomach. “Shit.” 

 

“Are you- are you healed?” Regina asks, but she doesn’t get an answer, because Charming and Snow are hugging their daughter so hard that they might just reinjure her. 

 

“Careful, guys, I just came back from the dead.” Emma says with a wince. 

 

“Emma, Emma, Emma!” Snow says joyfully, pressing kiss after kiss on her daughter's forehead. “Regina!” She squeals and flings herself and Regina, who is caught in a very unwelcome hugging fest. 

  
“Snow…” Regina says warningly, but nevertheless hugs Snow. And over the ecstatic mother's shoulder, she meets Emma’s eyes, which are vibrant, and hopeful for the first time in months. 

 

Disentangling herself from the messy bundle that is the Charming family, Regina clutches the now sitting Emma. Pressing her hands against Emma’s head and pulling her towards her, she kisses her again and again and again, little kisses. “I love you.” She mumbles. “I love you I love you I love you.” 

 

Emma chuckles slightly, but it’s a wheezing laugh, and clutches her stomach. “Not that I don’t- I don’t appreciate the attention, but maybe an ambulance?” 

 

“You are an idiot.” Regina says again, as Snow reaches for her cellphone. “You valiant, heroic,  _ idiot.”  _

 

Emma leans her head on Regina’s shoulder slightly, and her breathing is disjointed. “That’s why you love me.” 

 

And so they hold each other, and Regina thanks fate for yet another chance. 

 

*******************

They go to the hospital first, and Emma’s delighted when she gets to ride in the ambulance. There’s still a wound on her stomach, and although it isn’t fatal anymore, it’s enough to need a good amount of stitches, and maybe some surgery, according to Dr. Whale. 

 

Regina holds her hand the entire time, and she’s still covered in Emma’s blood. Well, they both are. But Emma doesn’t care. Because now, she gets to live her life, with the woman she’s fallen desperately in love with. 

 

After they get rid of a pesky little gnat, that is. 

 

Regina assures her that they have it under control, because apparently, the Black Fairy’s magic was greatly weakened by their ‘kiss’. Regina still refuses to acknowledge that they shared true love’s kiss, but Emma’s working on it. 

 

“So, how did you save me again?” Emma asks again, one afternoon, when propped up on Regina’s sofa, a large thick bandage around her stomach. “Tell me, just one more time.”    
  
Regina rolls her eyes. “Once upon a time, an idiot named Emma Swan got stabbed, and so in a desperate attempt to save her, another idiot called Regina Mills kissed her on the lips. And then, eh voila, the first idiot decided to wake up again.” 

 

Emma pouts slightly, and goes back to her magazine. “You know, in the Fairytale land, they would call our kiss a true love-” 

 

“Stop!” Regina whines, and there’s a bit of desperation in her eyes. “God damn it Emma, I don’t want to be your parents!” 

 

“Oh….” Emma says, and she understands,  _ finally.  _ “Ohhhhh.” Then a gleeful note enters her tone. “Don’t worry, Regina, I’ll always find you-”    
  
That conversation ends rather quickly, because Emma suddenly finds herself in her parents flat, purple smoke dissipating around her. 

  
“I will find you, Regina!” Emma calls out in the empty bedroom, wondering if the brunette is listening. 

 

She is, because Emma looks in the mirror the next moment and finds,  _ IDIOT  _ written across her forehead that won’t come off no matter how hard she scrubs it. In purple marker. Naturally.

 

But apart from the gaping wound in Emma’s abdomen which requires a whole lot of stitches and a whole lot of pain medication, life’s good. She’s got Regina, who kisses her  _ a lot  _ and she has her son, who  _ she  _ kisses Regina a lot  _ around.  _

 

Henry may not be grounded for getting her and Regina together, but that doesn’t mean Emma won’t enjoy the horrified expression that seems to be permanently plastered to her son’s face these days whenever she and Regina do so much as hold hands. 

 

And the horrible bat named the Black Fairy is eventually sent back to her realm, a month later, and suddenly Emma finds she can get up from the sofa that day, and walk around without her stomach cramping like it’s rebelling against life. 

 

But having her freedom back isn’t as good as the fact that Emma can finally  _ go out  _ with Regina. They’re sitting at Granny’s one day, and Emma’s struck by the fact that they are in a  _ relationship.  _

 

“Hey Regina.” Emma says, eagerly. “Hey, Regina.” 

 

Regina looks up from the menu, despite the fact that they’ve both memorised all the food that Granny offers. “Hey, Emma.” She replies, teasingly. “Yes?” 

 

“We’re in a  _ relationship. _ ” Emma says, smugly. “You’re my  _ girlfriend.”  _

 

Regina raises an eyebrow. “Yes, and we have been for a month and a half now. Longer, if you count our covert kisses.” 

 

Emma just sets her menu down. “We’re in  _ love.”  _

 

“We are?” 

 

Regina’s quizzical tone sends Emma into panic mode. “Wait- we are, aren’t we?” She asks, eyes wide. “Regina, we’re in love right?” A blush rises onto her cheeks, and Emma covers her mouth with her hands. “Shit shit shit, forget I said anything.” 

 

A chuckle stops Emma’s panic attack, and Emma realises that Regina is amused. “Only you, Emma Swan, would assume that we are in love without  _ asking  _ me.” She says, mock offended. 

 

“So...we’re in love?” Emma asks again, but more shyly. 

 

A sigh from Regina only indicates her exasperated love for the blonde. “ _ Yes,  _ Emma. Of course we are.” 

  
“Oh good.” Emma says, relief evident in her tone. “Cause that was turning into one of the most embarrassing moments for me. Telling someone you think they’re in love and they don’t reciprocate is very bad. And I’ve done a lot of embarrassing things.” 

 

Regina hums slightly in disagreement. “Personally I think the diner incident would have been even more embarrassing.” 

 

Smirking, Emma leans across the table and takes Regina’s hand. “I got to feel you up. In my book, that’s a good day.” 

 

She gets a whack on the head with a menu, but Regina still holds her hand, so Emma ignores the stinging on her scalp. 

 

They haven’t seen Hook since Emma was revived- he’d shuffled off despondently after the true loves kiss that Regina and Emma had shared. However, one night, there is a knock on the door at 12:00 and it’s a very drunk Hook. 

 

“Where isssh she?” Hook slurs, waving around a beer bottle. “I wanna see Emma.” 

 

Regina eyes the pirate distastefully. “She’s sleeping right now.” 

 

The pirate’s expression turns angry, and he turns his hook on her, waving it menacingly. “You bring me to Emma right now or I’ll-” 

 

“Or you’ll what?” Regina asks coolly. The pirate ponders the question for a moment, before answering. 

 

“I’ll make you walk the plank!” His expression is threatening for about half a second. Then he bursts into tears. 

 

“Oh god.” Regina mutters with a groan, and helping Hook inside, she gets him a glass of water and a blanket. 

 

“Why did she leave me?” He asks, tearfully, slightly more sober and wrapped up in a knit blanket . “I love her.” 

 

Regina presses her lips together. She really doesn’t want to do this- her nice warm bed is upstairs, and Emma’s in it, which is an added bonus. But, there’s a pesky little thing called  _ redemption  _ that Regina’s been pretty committed to, and she did steal the man’s fiancee.

 

“Do you want some advice, Killian?” Regina says, sitting on the chair opposite the pirate. 

  
The pirate nods, and hiccups. “Yes please, ’Gina.” 

 

“Move on.”  _ Please.  _ She adds in her mind. 

 

Hook rolls his eyes. “I have girls lining up, y’know. I just want Emma. Where’s- where’s she right now? Emmaaaaaa!” He yells, and Regina grits her teeth. “EMMAAAAAA!” 

 

She hears shuffling upstairs, and knowing that Hook won’t leave if Emma comes downstairs, she waves her hands. The pirate is encased in a purple smoke, and Regina sends him back to the Jolly Roger- his bed, hopefully. 

 

“Who’s there?” Emma calls sleepily from the stairs, as she makes her way slowly down. “Regina?” 

 

“It’s me.” Regina calls from her place in the sitting room. “And a drunk Hook who just was magicked back to his home.” 

 

Rubbing her eyes, Emma pads into the room. “Wha- what was he doing here?” 

 

“Pining for you.” 

 

Emma’s face shows the slightest bit of guilt- but then she sits on the sofa, and pats a place next to her. “Too bad I’m taken.” 

 

“Probably thinks he can win you back.” Regina says with a grumble, and goes to sit beside Emma, who lays her head in the brunette’s lap. 

 

“Don’t worry.” Emma says with a wink. “I will never leave you. Your lasagna is far too good.” 

 

Dropping a kiss on Emma’s lips, Regina just smiles gently. “And for that comment, you won’t get any for another month.” 

 

Emma whines, and Regina laughs, and the two sit there for the rest of the night. 

 

 

 

***********

 

“Hey, everyone.” Emma says as she walks through the Charming apartment. “M _ y girlfriend,  _ Regina, and I are here.” 

 

Regina sighs slightly. Ever since they had ‘affirmed’ their status, Emma had been unbelievably eager to tell everyone that Regina was  _ her girlfriend.  _

 

(It got a bit much when Emma answered the phone at the Mayor's office and told old Mrs. Ginger that her girlfriend was too busy to come to the phone because she was much to madly in love with Emma to do anything else. Regina had apologised. 

 

For _ her girlfriend. _ ) 

 

“Emma, we all know you and Regina are together.” Snow says mildly, taking Regina’s coat from her. “You don’t have to affirm the fact constantly.” 

 

“Thank you.” Regina says once Snow hangs her coat up. “You know, if this had been a few years ago, I would have been attempting to make you as uncomfortable as possible. Instead, your daughter is doing my job for me.” 

 

Her shoes clipping across the hardwood floors, Snow shoves a bowl of salsa into Regina’s hands. “I like to think that you’ve grown. Redemption, and all. You no longer feel the need to make me as uncomfortable as possible, am I right?” She smiles hopefully at Regina. 

 

And while Regina had been redeemed, and grudgingly calls Snow family, she still can’t resist this golden opportunity. 

 

“Emma, dear?” She calls over to Emma who is talking to her father in the sitting room. “I was just thinking, where did I put my favorite stilettos again?” 

 

Emma turns to her eagerly. “Oh those! Yeah, we left them in the bedroom, you know after last time when we did that whole thing with the Mayor and the Sheriff-” She cuts off abruptly, gulping very quickly. “Shit.” 

 

The room goes extremely quiet, and Regina resists the urge to throw her head back and cackle at Snow’s pale, pale face. 

 

“You- you-” Snow stutters. 

 

“Redemption is overrated, my dear.” Regina says with a wink, and stirs the pot of salsa. 

 

“Mom?” Henry whispers hoarsely from his place in the sofa, and suddenly it’s Regina’s turn to go pale. She’d forgotten he was there. “Never, ever- no.” 

 

After that, Regina is banned from tricking the ever gullible Emma into revealing details about their relationship that might make the Charmings ill. 

 

So basically anything that Regina can use to make Snow make that delectable horrified face. 

 

But apart from the occasional hiccup that comes from the fiery relationship that they lead, Emma and Regina have everything.

 

They’re finally, utterly, deliciously, wonderfully, 

 

Happy. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This isn't the end just yet...epilogue coming soon!


	13. In which Zelena's puns still haven't improved.

_ Three years later _

 

It’s a quiet night, for the formerly wicked witch, a rather calm one, in fact. Robyn is fast asleep in her room, surrounded by numerous fluffy objects, and Zelena is putting her feet up by the fire, making use of her new sofa, an exact replica of the rather comfy one her sister has at the mansion. She conjures a glass of scotch with a sigh, and sipping it, leans back contentedly. 

 

There’s a knock at the door, and Zelena groans. Heaving herself up, she summons a fireball in hand- 

 

(a neat trick when trying to get people to do what you want, exhibit A, a reluctant David babysitting both Robyn and Neal at once) 

 

-and growling, opens the door to face a very unconcerned Henry, holding a very unconcerned baby Neal. Zelena grumbles as Neal even has the  _ audacity  _ to not even  _ notice  _ the fireball. 

 

“Oh. Henry.” Zelena sighs and snaps her hand closed. “I was hoping you’d be someone I could fireball. There’s a horrible lack of enemies these days in Storybrooke.” She waves at the toddler. “Why is he not afraid?” 

 

Henry shrugs, and baby Neal smiles. “Fireballs are kind of the norm in our family. Could you hold my uncle please?” He’s grown older, and Henry Mills is now a handsome 17 year old, his messy brown hair often a mix of his adoptive mother’s attempts at taming it, and his birthmother’s inherited curls. Neal, on the other hand, is now four, and with his bright blonde hair and blue eyes, he’s a direct copy of his father. 

 

Shoving the toddler at Zelena, he barges in. Neal immediately cries, “Zelena!” And latches onto the witch. “Can I see Roby?” 

 

“Roby’s asleep, my little dolt.” Zelena says affectionately, tapping the boy on the nose. “And you should be as well.” 

 

Neal pouts. “I don’t wanna sleep. I want to play with Roby.” 

 

Zelena follows her nephew into the kitchen, where he has already helped himself to a cup of tea. “Henry, not that I don’t enjoy the company of my favorite nephew, but-” 

 

“I’m your only nephew,” Henry says with a laugh. “And you know why I’m here.” 

  
Zelena sighs, and pops Neal down on the rug, where Robyn had left some of her toys. “Play with the dolls, Neal, be a dear.” 

 

Neal begins to play, and Zelena sits down beside Henry. “Yes, I suppose I do. Emma and Regina at it again? True love’s shag can have that effect. ” 

 

Henry looks at her, an undeniable expression of fond exasperation crossing his face. “That got old the first five times you used it. It’s been three years, Auntie Zel, when are you going to stop being smug about being the reason my moms are together?” 

 

“Never. I’ll always be proud that Emma is now aware that Regina is not as straight as an arrow. Or more specifically,  _ Robin’s  _ arrow.” 

 

Henry just groans. “And there it is, the terrible pun of the night.” 

 

Zelena just shrugs. “What? It’s a good joke.” 

 

“Just perhaps not suitable for your seventeen year old nephew’s ears. Not the seventeen part, because I have a  _ girlfriend- _ ” Henry emphasises 

 

Now it’s Zelena’s turn to groan. “Henry, I swear to god, stop telling us that Paige is your girlfriend because honestly that got old the first ten times you hinted, and the next eight times you actually told me.” 

 

“Fine. But anyway,  _ nephew.  _ I’m your young and impressionable  _ nephew.”  _ Henry says with a raised eyebrow. 

 

“Who else would I tell my funny puns to?”

 

Henry just waves his hands. “Okay okay. Look, I came here for a reason. There’s big news, Auntie Zel, and this calls for some action.” 

 

Zelena wrinkles her nose. “Why?” 

 

Henry just grins. “My mom and Emma are  _ engaged. _ ” 

 

A slow, gleeful grin makes it’s way across Zelena’s face. “Oh thank god. I thought I’d have to buy that ring myself.” She mutters. “I actually had one picked out.” 

 

“I know, me too!” Henry says.  “Anyway, it was at the park, romantic, candles, lots of cheesy speeches, you know the usual- but the thing is...we both know how bad both my moms are with weddings.” 

 

Zelena’s eyes grow wide. “That is true. The last time either of them were involved in a wedding, the maid of honor ran off with the bride.” 

 

“Yeah. That was them, remember?” 

 

“Yes yes, it just sounds like the best story ever when you don’t say the names, but rather the titles.” 

 

“Anyway, my Grandma has already pulled out the binders. You know, the whole wedding portfolio she had? But I sense, and I think this is really important, that my moms just want a  _ small  _ wedding. And I’m afraid-” 

 

“That something will go wrong, like with Emma and Hook’s wedding.” Zelena observes. “Well, if you remember, Henry, the thing that went wrong with Emma and Captain Leather was us.” 

  
Henry nods, seriously. “Sure, but who's to say that Hook won’t try and swoop back in, all these years later?” 

 

“Please, Captain Guyliner is happily married to that simpering fairy, you know the one who constantly blabbered that Robin was Regina’s happy ending? Doubtful. I hear they even have a little brat on the way.” She scoffs. 

 

Henry eyes her curiously. “Where do you get all this information?” 

  
Zelena rolls her shoulders, and examines her nails with feigned nonchalance. “I am somewhat of an Agony Aunt in this town, meaning I get all the juicy gossip. I’m even thinking of opening a nail salon to really make a business out of it all.” 

 

Henry snorts and jokes, “I bet it took years to get that reputation.” 

 

Zelena’s eyes gleam.”I had to put my wicked ways to some use, and these days it’s adding fuel to the fire with the newest drama between Cindy and Aurora over who’s blueberry cobbler has the most  _ zing _ .” 

 

“ _ Anyway.  _ That’s one threat out of the way.” 

 

“Henry, I think that your mom’s will get married, no matter what.” 

  
There’s a hint of panic in Henry’s eyes, however. “But what if they don’t?” 

 

Zelena’s eyes soften, just a smidge. “Ah, Henry. No one could ever break those two apart. Not even me. You know that.” 

 

Henry frowns. “Fine. But I’m still worried. That’s why I came here, to ask you for your help.”

 

“You know, I’m getting the strangest sense of deja vu right now.” Zelena muses. 

 

“You need to help me with this wedding. We’ve got to get my Grandma out of the way, and my mom's married.” 

 

Zelena just grins. “That’ll be no problem, my young protege.” 

 

“I want them to have a great wedding, with no interruptions. But I also want it to go their way.” 

 

Zelena just leans back, eyes twinkling. “Henry, leave this to me. I have the perfect idea.” 

 

“You do? You can get my moms wedding to go well?” Henry looks almost a mirror image of how he did, all those years ago, desperate to help his mother's, and Zelena allows a soft smile to grace her face, for just a moment. 

 

Then she snaps back into action, a puff of green magic summoning a green pencil, and a smirk to her lips. 

 

“Oh yes. After all, it’s all in the planning, isn’t it?” 

 

In Henry’s satchel, there is a slight glow, and the ever present storybook gains another chapter. 

 

Called, “The Savior and the Queen”, it begins with the words that seem to always be written before a timeless story. 

 

_ Once upon a time, a woman named Emma Swan met for the second time in her life, a young boy named Henry Mills. He told her that she was his mother, and had an important mission to save a town from a terrible curse.  _

 

_ But first, they needed to return to his home, and to his other mother, the one who had raised him. So Emma jumped into her car, and drove miles to a small rustic town called Storybrooke. There, she walked up a path, and met the eyes of a beautiful woman, and a dangerous Queen, named Regina Mills. And from that moment, their lives became entwined, never to be parted.  _

 

_ “You’re Henry’s birth mother?”  _

 

_ “Hi.”  _

 

_ And that, my dear reader, is where one of the most magnificent love stories of all time begins.  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, that's a wrap, I suppose. Thank you to all of you who read, and all of you who commented. I hope you've enjoyed my foray into the world of bad puns and idiots in denial!

**Author's Note:**

> So there we go, the first chapter of this story! Right, so as you can tell, Zelena and Henry will be getting up to lots of mischief, something which Emma and Regina may or may not appreciate.


End file.
